A Soul Darkened
by Laura Spudzmom
Chapter 13:
~Excess Baggage~
Well I know the words, but I can't really speak them
To you
And I hide all the pain that I've gained with my wisdom
From you
And I'm eaten alive by what I hold inside
All the things that I live with I can't easily hide
And I'm left here with nothing, nothing to live for
But you
~Staind~
We got up the next day before the sun rose. I wanted to watch it with Demetri and he humored me like the wonderful guy he is. The house was surprisingly quiet considering no one in it slept.
There was a bit of tension that I could feel and I wondered if it was being projected by Jasper. I hated that he was feeling uncomfortable in his own house. Perhaps I was reading too much into it though. Maybe it was due to the upcoming fight with his maker whom he hasn't seen…..well, I really didn't know how long it had been. At least I hoped his tension was due to that. It made me feel better to think so anyway.
We made our way to the front porch and sat in the chairs that Jasper and I had sat in the day previous. The horizon was just getting some dark purple tones to it. I scooted my chair closer to Demetri and leaned into his side. He placed his arm around my shoulders and we remained that way, watching the birth of a new day.
Demetri leaned over and kissed me just as the rays of the sun began to warm our skin.
"Are you nervous about the upcoming fight Cara? You're awfully quiet."
I straightened up in my seat to look at him and ran a hand through my hair.
"No, not at all. Just lost in thought really. It's so peaceful out here, especially at first light. It's difficult to consider a desert beautiful, but it really is during a sunrise."
In truth, he had caught me with my mind wandering to dark places. The fragility of my renewed relationship had consumed my thoughts, and I was worried. It would take just the merest slip of the tongue to shatter what I now knew to be beyond precious to me. My thoughts chilled me.
Could Jasper be right about telling Demetri? I knew the answer before I even asked myself the question; of course he was. Fear gripped me each time I considered telling him, but I knew that I had to. He would never understand if I kept this from him and he found out some other way. Now I had to decide when to tell him. God, was there ever a good time for breaking something like that to someone?
I sighed. Not today, that's for certain. I wouldn't do that to him when we all needed to have one hundred percent concentration on the fight coming tonight. I might have made light of the situation yesterday during our meeting, but the facts were that any fight could be dangerous if you were distracted going into it. I was shaken from my thoughts as Demetri reached into his pocket for his phone.
"Bella, we should go back inside. I need to call in and report. Destroying the Mexican coven is a little side mission that they should know about." He sighed tiredly. "Here's hoping I don't get my ass handed to me for allowing this whole thing."
I felt a frown at his words. I would have to make sure he didn't get into trouble for something that was my doing.
Entering the house, I found Jane laying in wait for me in the living room as Demetri left to make his call.
"Bella."
Her look was calculating and I felt uncomfortable under her scrutiny. I flopped on the couch and met her stare. I gave her a sickly sweet smile.
"Yes Jane?"
"What's going on Bella?"
Her stare was like a piercing blade.
"What do you mean?"
In times past, I would have been squirming at the look she was giving me, but I had been through too much training to succumb to such tells. She was good, but so was I.
"Cut the bullshit Bella. You don't just push someone like Demetri away for all this time just to do a complete one eighty in a day and a half seemingly without cause."
"Who says it's without cause? I did some soul searching and realized how screwed up I was, that none of this is his fault, and that he's the most important person in my life."
Jane lowered her voice, her eyes narrowed.
"Do I look like an idiot to you Bella? Because it seems that's what you take me for. I'm not buying the bullshit you're selling. Something happened that scared the shit out of you; that made you afraid enough to run back to him with a sweet smile on your face and apologies on your lips. I've watched you with him for a year now, closely and that's not your style. You would have talked it out eventually, but you would have only met him halfway. You're going to come clean with me Bella. Maybe not today because we have a lot to deal with and need to focus, but I'm not letting you get out of this. And don't even try to tell me this isn't my business. Demetri and I have been friends longer than you can probably trace back a family tree. I love him as I do my own brother and I don't want to see him hurt if I can help it. I tried my best to talk sense into you before and it was like talking to the wall."
She sat back and crossed her arms over her chest, still giving me that stare.
"No, something drastic shook the hell out of you and I don't even want to speculate what that was. My mind goes places that rather piss me off at that point, and none of us need that at the moment. Just know Bella that our real talk is coming and you won't avoid or deflect when it does."
She got up and left the room. I sat, staring blankly straight ahead. I was right in thinking that there was no other option but for me to tell the truth. I just hoped that Jane wouldn't force the issue before I was ready.
Eventually, others began to make their way into the living room, some with various things to keep them occupied. Jasper and Peter turned on the TV and started up the PS3. Alec was reading quietly in a chair by the window and to my surprise, Jane and Char were looking at clothes online. They almost looked like sisters, especially with how Jane had dressed today. She was looking very casual in jeans and a t-shirt with her hair down.
Felix took a seat next to me.
"Hi Bella."
I gave him a small smile.
"Hi Felix, what's up?"
He glanced at me from the corner of his eye, head leaned against the back of the couch.
"Absolutely nothing. All this waiting around is like slow torture. I can't wait to get back to Italy at this point. At least there I can go hit all of my regular spots to sample the night life. Something to do, you know?"
I nodded.
"Do you know where Demetri is?"
He chuckled a bit.
"Yes. He is currently still on the phone with Aro, trying to convince him that our participation in this fight with the Mexican coven is necessary."
"Really? I didn't think it would take all that much to convince him. I thought they would be grateful to be rid of her. Hasn't she been a constant source of frustration for many years now?"
Felix nodded. "She has. From what I heard of their conversation as I walked by, Aro was upset that we are not focusing on the mission we were given. He wants a culmination to the Cullen proceedings post haste. Everything else is a lesser priority. I believe that is due to his long friendship with Carlisle Cullen. I don't believe that Aro enjoys seeing Carlisle languish."
"i see. Well I certainly hope that he's not too upset, especially with Demetri since it was me that agreed to this before speaking with any of you. I'll be sure to speak with Master Aro upon our return to explain that I'm responsible for this. I would hate for Demetri to have to pay for my impertinence."
"That is very noble of you Bella, but I'm not sure it would do any good. You see, Demetri is the ranking guard on this mission. Whatever happens during the mission ultimately settles on the ranking guards shoulders. His mission, his responsibility. That is simply how it has always been. Demetri knows this. He felt this undertaking was necessary, therefore he now must convince the Masters."
I sighed and nodded. I understood chain of command very well after all, having been a cops daughter. Didn't make me feel any better though for having talked Demetri into this. I knew, had it been solely up to him, we would have been on the jet back to Italy by now, not waiting to be attacked by another coven. It was my influence over him, I knew, that caused him to even consider doing this and now he was having to justify the delay to the Masters. I looked at Felix.
"How serious could this be to his position as an Elite Guard? Will it be detrimental Felix?"
Running a hand over his face, he sighed.
"It really depends on the conversation they're having and the outcome of the fight tonight. If things go badly, I would say it will definitely have a negative impact on Demetri's standing. If the fight goes well, less so. But Master Aro sounded terse. It's no secret among the Guard that he doesn't appreciate unplanned side missions, especially without seeking his permission prior to taking action."
Great, one more thing for me to feel guilty about where Demetri is concerned. I'll be so happy when all of this is over.
"Well, ranking guard or not, I'm still going to speak with Master Aro upon our return. I'll try to make him understand that it was due to my influence that he chose to intervene in this situation."
Felix gave me a sidelong look.
"You really think that's going to make things better Bella? Really? Have you considered the fact that doing so will make Demetri look weak and unable to make sound decisions when you are involved? Think carefully before you act or speak Bella. Consider the repercussions. I believe that Demetri would much rather stand by his decision on his own than appear as though he had lost control of the mission and let you talk him into things."
Felix sat forward and gave me a rather hard look.
"And before you say anything, no, this is not about pride. This is about his rank and responsibility in the Guard and his esteem in the regard of the Masters. He is, first and foremost, our ranking Guard on this mission. Not your lover or mate. If he is presented as anything less, it will not be well for him." He shook his head a bit before continuing.
"I really thought you understood all of these nuances where our professional and personal lives are concerned. If not, you need to learn quickly. There could be situations much worse than this in the future. Within the ranks of the Volturi, especially the Elite Guard, you must always be a Guard first and lover or mate second. If that philosophy is not followed, focus is lost, order is lost and ultimately lives are lost."
I looked down, lost in thought for a moment. Everything Felix said made sense but it didn't make any of this any easier. I did however see the need to refrain from interfering when we returned and faced the Masters. Demetri would stand on his own as the ranking guard, come what may and where I had once felt triumph at influencing his decision to help in this fight, I now only felt guilt. We were now committed to helping, but at what price? And it was a price that I wouldn't even be responsible for paying. I leveled my gaze at Felix who was studying me silently.
"We have to win with no casualties or mistakes this evening Felix. We have to do this for Demetri. At least in that way, I will not fail him."
He nodded.
I glanced around, looking for Jasper. I needed to speak with him about this fight. I wanted to know if he had any plans for who was going to take out the experienced fighters, specifically Maria. He had left the living room a while ago.
I found him once again in his study, speaking with Demetri. I knocked on the doorframe and they both turned to me. Jasper gave me a small smile.
"Bella, come on in. We were just discussing last minute details for the fight tonight."
I made my way over to where Demetri sat, taking a seat next to him.
"That's perfect actually because I wanted to discuss the very same. Do you have any plans for who will be facing the experienced fighters of the bunch such as Maria and any officers she may have?"
Jasper nodded.
"Sure do, and we were just about to hold one last meeting with everyone to brief them. Shall we make our way out and gather everyone?"
Demetri got up and offered me his hand. I smiled and took it. We made our way back to the living room and I heard Jasper announcing the meeting. We all gathered and faced him, waiting.
"Demetri and I decided that we needed to address a few small details concerning the coming fight. To minimize confusion, we wanted to clarify who would be handling certain individuals. Peter and I will handle Maria and any officers she may have with her. We know of only two. The rest should be newborns, and relatively inexperienced. She cares not for their longevity, only the ability to attack and overwhelm in numbers, therefore she does not spend much time or effort training them to properly fight. That didn't used to be the case when Peter and I did all the training for her, but based on recent information, it has been a very long time since she's had someone competent to train her soldiers. I've been assured by Demetri that you are all well trained in fighting techniques, especially those against newborns so I won't bore you with unneeded instruction."
He then began to pass around a sheet with the likenesses of three individuals on it. They were sketches, but they were very detailed and might have passed for slightly grainy photos if I didn't know better.
"These individuals are Maria and her two known officers that, again, Peter and I will be targeting. Become familiar with them so there won't be any confusion. In the unlikely scenario that Pete and I should be overpowered by them or they escape from us, then by all means, destroy them if you have the opportunity. I really don't have any further instructions other than remaining focused and to never underestimate your opponent. I defer to Demetri for any further instructions or advice he may have for you."
He sat next to Pete and Demetri looked at all of us in turn.
"I am confident in the fighting prowess of all of you, even without considering your gifts. But as Jasper said, remain focused. Do not become distracted."
He looked at me at this point.
"Even if someone you care for looks to be in peril. We are all capable fighters, but when half your focus is on someone else and their fight, you WILL miss something vital at some point and it may cost you your life. The best thing to do for those you care for is remain focused."
I met his gaze with a steady one and nodded. Message received. No matter what, my mind would remain in my fight and no where else until the dust settled.
The rest of the day was spent on various ways to while away the time. The tension in the house was replaced by something closer to anticipation as we all watched the sun sink below the horizon from the windows at the rear of the house. We were all being relatively silent in order to hear any subtle sounds of approach and we didn't have to wait long.
Just after sunset, we could all hear the faint rumble of a group of vampires. At least that's what the others with experience confirmed for me when I looked to them upon hearing it.
The group of us that would be heading out back and circling around the approaching soldiers were all staying out of sight of the windows. We didn't want to ruin the surprise after all.
Once we got the signal from Jasper, we would all move out in varying directions to form the net and close the trap. I would shield our group until we were close enough to attack. My physical shield would prevent the enemy from hearing or scenting us.
I could just make out the group approaching the front of the property when Jasper gave a subtle nod and we slipped out the back, splitting up and taking off. It didn't take long for me to hear the faint sounds of a vampire being destroyed. It sounded like it came from where Felix had gone. Jane and Alec had gone to my left and Felix and I had gone to the right leaving Demetri to head straight, away from the back of the house until he would meet up with Felix and I to close the circle toward the front.
I was just hearing the faint sounds of vampire destruction, this time in Jane and Alec's direction when I spotted a newborn vampire just seconds away from me. I flew at him and took him down with a quick blow to the head as I dodged his sloppy attempt at a two armed grab. He hopped back up and came at me again but this time I stood still, waiting. I ducked his assault and grabbed his head on the way by, wrenching it from his shoulders. I made sure to toss it far enough away that he couldn't reassemble himself any time soon and took off to finish the circle.
Once at the front of the property, I could see the others in my group and we moved as a unit, getting closer until we could see that Maria was distracted by speaking to Jasper. I could just make out that she was trying to convince him to rejoin her, with an ultimatum to do so or die the second death this day. Her entire group was facing the confrontation between them and never saw us closing in.
Once Jasper had determined that we were close enough, he gave another nod of his head and then all hell broke loose as we attacked.
I took out a woman right away with a ducked grab and a twist of her head. The next one was a huge guy that was determined to piss me off. Seemed he had had some training from somewhere because he wasn't employing the standard newborn rush and grab. He circled me, looking for an opening or waiting for me to make a move, I wasn't sure which. So we circled for a time until I got bored and rushed him, falling into a slide at the last second and taking out his legs. Once he was face down on the ground, I wasted no time jumping in the middle of his shoulder blades and grabbing both his arms, wrenching up and tearing them off. Once I had his arms, it was a simple thing to dismember him fully.
I took a quick glance around to spot any potential targets and was just in time to see Jasper with his teeth at Maria's neck. He bit while twisting her head and she knew no more.
Peter and Charlotte had taken out her officers, and the rest of my group was gathering parts for the fire. Felix was just off to my right, with the biggest grin on his face that I think I've ever seen. We found ourselves picking up parts in the same space and he looked over to me.
"Was that an exhilarating fight or what Bella?"
I laughed and shook my head.
"It was at that Felix. Hey, want to help me round up the others we left toward the back? Wouldn't want them to miss the bonfire fun."
"Sure. By the way, I saw that awesome slide you used on the guy. Put him right on his face. It was pretty sweet."
I grinned at him.
"It ought to be Felix. I perfected it on you, remember?"
The smile slid from his face and he scowled and pouted at the same time. Jesus, how was that possible?
"Yeah, I do remember. That shit wasn't funny. My nose had a crack in it for half the damn day."
I patted him on the back with an overly sympathetic look on my face and said in a sickly sweet tone of voice.
"I'm sorry for ruining your post fight high Felix. What do you say we forget about it and talk about how you kicked some ass today while we go collect parts for the fire?"
He gave me a flat look for a few beats before giving me a shove. I laughed and braced myself so I wouldn't go flying.
"Oh fuck off Bella."
He walked off muttering darkly about sarcastic bitches and I just kept laughing as I chucked a leg into the fire.
We all gathered just in front of the house to watch the purple tinged flames lick away at what used to be Maria and her army. I looked over at Jasper and wondered what he was thinking as he gazed at the flaming remains of the woman who had turned his life into a living hell for one hundred years. His face was blank and he wasn't projecting a thing. I guessed I would probably never know. I didn't have a right to such personal thoughts and feelings from him and found myself wondering why that seemed to bother me.
I gave myself a mental slap and slipped my hand into Demetri's who was standing beside me. He squeezed it lightly and smiled at me as I leaned into him.
I caught Jane watching us and she locked gazes with me, keeping her face in a carefully neutral mask.
Felix, Demetri and I turned and went into the house. I didn't know about anyone else, but I felt pretty dirty and was looking forward to a shower. Once standing under the hot spray, I felt the guilt and tension ease a bit, but not entirely. Would those feelings ever leave me? I had my doubts. God, emotions were hard to deal with.
I felt myself getting angry again at having to feel. How many people get mad because they feel emotions? How ridiculous a reaction was that anyway? Certainly not normal by any stretch of the imagination.
I sighed and shut off the water, stepping out and drying off. I walked out into the bedroom in my towel and Demetri was there waiting for me.
"Since the fight went so well and we still have plenty of night time left, we are going to leave in the next thirty minutes. I've already called for the jet to be readied and it will be prepared for departure when we arrive."
I felt my brows rise a bit.
"Wow, that was abrupt."
He looked a bit peeved.
"It is not abrupt. I have delayed things enough as it is for your request and this fight. We need to leave post haste and if we don't take advantage of the darkness left to us this night, we must wait until the next. That is time wasted, and I cannot afford to waste any more, Cara. I did not mention my plans to depart until I was sure that we would have enough night time left to do so."
He stood from the chair he'd been waiting in and gathered fresh clothes from his bag, heading into the shower. I could feel my brows inch up toward my hairline as I shook my head. I felt as though I had just been given a backhanded reprimand. Then I thought of the pressure put upon him by Aro and I felt about an inch tall for not understanding. The very least I could do was be understanding. Still, that tiny voice in my head that wouldn't shut up kept whispering about how he could have been less of a dick about it all.
I sighed and got dressed in my Volturi attire minus the cloak, packed my shit and went into the living room to wait. Most everyone was there already, including Jasper. Alec was still missing but showed up a minute later, still messing with his hair. I smirked. The boy loved his hair. He saw me smirking at him and rolled his eyes with a shy smile on his lips.
"Leave me alone about my hair Bella."
I chuckled a bit and sat down next to Jasper to wait.
"Hey Jas. You already say goodbye to Peter and Charlotte?"
"Yeah, sure did. They left already to go into the city. They said to tell you and I quote from Peter "Goodbye and all that shit."
I laughed. "Well, when you get back you'll have to tell him, and I want you to quote me, "Thanks for the hospitality and all that shit."
He smiled a wan smile. "Yeah, you got it."
And so it was that we found ourselves an hour later, boarding the Volturi jet, bound for Italy and in my case at least, some very difficult truth telling and a very uncertain future.
~Excess Baggage~
Well I know the words, but I can't really speak them
To you
And I hide all the pain that I've gained with my wisdom
From you
And I'm eaten alive by what I hold inside
All the things that I live with I can't easily hide
And I'm left here with nothing, nothing to live for
But you
~Staind~
We got up the next day before the sun rose. I wanted to watch it with Demetri and he humored me like the wonderful guy he is. The house was surprisingly quiet considering no one in it slept.
There was a bit of tension that I could feel and I wondered if it was being projected by Jasper. I hated that he was feeling uncomfortable in his own house. Perhaps I was reading too much into it though. Maybe it was due to the upcoming fight with his maker whom he hasn't seen…..well, I really didn't know how long it had been. At least I hoped his tension was due to that. It made me feel better to think so anyway.
We made our way to the front porch and sat in the chairs that Jasper and I had sat in the day previous. The horizon was just getting some dark purple tones to it. I scooted my chair closer to Demetri and leaned into his side. He placed his arm around my shoulders and we remained that way, watching the birth of a new day.
Demetri leaned over and kissed me just as the rays of the sun began to warm our skin.
"Are you nervous about the upcoming fight Cara? You're awfully quiet."
I straightened up in my seat to look at him and ran a hand through my hair.
"No, not at all. Just lost in thought really. It's so peaceful out here, especially at first light. It's difficult to consider a desert beautiful, but it really is during a sunrise."
In truth, he had caught me with my mind wandering to dark places. The fragility of my renewed relationship had consumed my thoughts, and I was worried. It would take just the merest slip of the tongue to shatter what I now knew to be beyond precious to me. My thoughts chilled me.
Could Jasper be right about telling Demetri? I knew the answer before I even asked myself the question; of course he was. Fear gripped me each time I considered telling him, but I knew that I had to. He would never understand if I kept this from him and he found out some other way. Now I had to decide when to tell him. God, was there ever a good time for breaking something like that to someone?
I sighed. Not today, that's for certain. I wouldn't do that to him when we all needed to have one hundred percent concentration on the fight coming tonight. I might have made light of the situation yesterday during our meeting, but the facts were that any fight could be dangerous if you were distracted going into it. I was shaken from my thoughts as Demetri reached into his pocket for his phone.
"Bella, we should go back inside. I need to call in and report. Destroying the Mexican coven is a little side mission that they should know about." He sighed tiredly. "Here's hoping I don't get my ass handed to me for allowing this whole thing."
I felt a frown at his words. I would have to make sure he didn't get into trouble for something that was my doing.
Entering the house, I found Jane laying in wait for me in the living room as Demetri left to make his call.
"Bella."
Her look was calculating and I felt uncomfortable under her scrutiny. I flopped on the couch and met her stare. I gave her a sickly sweet smile.
"Yes Jane?"
"What's going on Bella?"
Her stare was like a piercing blade.
"What do you mean?"
In times past, I would have been squirming at the look she was giving me, but I had been through too much training to succumb to such tells. She was good, but so was I.
"Cut the bullshit Bella. You don't just push someone like Demetri away for all this time just to do a complete one eighty in a day and a half seemingly without cause."
"Who says it's without cause? I did some soul searching and realized how screwed up I was, that none of this is his fault, and that he's the most important person in my life."
Jane lowered her voice, her eyes narrowed.
"Do I look like an idiot to you Bella? Because it seems that's what you take me for. I'm not buying the bullshit you're selling. Something happened that scared the shit out of you; that made you afraid enough to run back to him with a sweet smile on your face and apologies on your lips. I've watched you with him for a year now, closely and that's not your style. You would have talked it out eventually, but you would have only met him halfway. You're going to come clean with me Bella. Maybe not today because we have a lot to deal with and need to focus, but I'm not letting you get out of this. And don't even try to tell me this isn't my business. Demetri and I have been friends longer than you can probably trace back a family tree. I love him as I do my own brother and I don't want to see him hurt if I can help it. I tried my best to talk sense into you before and it was like talking to the wall."
She sat back and crossed her arms over her chest, still giving me that stare.
"No, something drastic shook the hell out of you and I don't even want to speculate what that was. My mind goes places that rather piss me off at that point, and none of us need that at the moment. Just know Bella that our real talk is coming and you won't avoid or deflect when it does."
She got up and left the room. I sat, staring blankly straight ahead. I was right in thinking that there was no other option but for me to tell the truth. I just hoped that Jane wouldn't force the issue before I was ready.
Eventually, others began to make their way into the living room, some with various things to keep them occupied. Jasper and Peter turned on the TV and started up the PS3. Alec was reading quietly in a chair by the window and to my surprise, Jane and Char were looking at clothes online. They almost looked like sisters, especially with how Jane had dressed today. She was looking very casual in jeans and a t-shirt with her hair down.
Felix took a seat next to me.
"Hi Bella."
I gave him a small smile.
"Hi Felix, what's up?"
He glanced at me from the corner of his eye, head leaned against the back of the couch.
"Absolutely nothing. All this waiting around is like slow torture. I can't wait to get back to Italy at this point. At least there I can go hit all of my regular spots to sample the night life. Something to do, you know?"
I nodded.
"Do you know where Demetri is?"
He chuckled a bit.
"Yes. He is currently still on the phone with Aro, trying to convince him that our participation in this fight with the Mexican coven is necessary."
"Really? I didn't think it would take all that much to convince him. I thought they would be grateful to be rid of her. Hasn't she been a constant source of frustration for many years now?"
Felix nodded. "She has. From what I heard of their conversation as I walked by, Aro was upset that we are not focusing on the mission we were given. He wants a culmination to the Cullen proceedings post haste. Everything else is a lesser priority. I believe that is due to his long friendship with Carlisle Cullen. I don't believe that Aro enjoys seeing Carlisle languish."
"i see. Well I certainly hope that he's not too upset, especially with Demetri since it was me that agreed to this before speaking with any of you. I'll be sure to speak with Master Aro upon our return to explain that I'm responsible for this. I would hate for Demetri to have to pay for my impertinence."
"That is very noble of you Bella, but I'm not sure it would do any good. You see, Demetri is the ranking guard on this mission. Whatever happens during the mission ultimately settles on the ranking guards shoulders. His mission, his responsibility. That is simply how it has always been. Demetri knows this. He felt this undertaking was necessary, therefore he now must convince the Masters."
I sighed and nodded. I understood chain of command very well after all, having been a cops daughter. Didn't make me feel any better though for having talked Demetri into this. I knew, had it been solely up to him, we would have been on the jet back to Italy by now, not waiting to be attacked by another coven. It was my influence over him, I knew, that caused him to even consider doing this and now he was having to justify the delay to the Masters. I looked at Felix.
"How serious could this be to his position as an Elite Guard? Will it be detrimental Felix?"
Running a hand over his face, he sighed.
"It really depends on the conversation they're having and the outcome of the fight tonight. If things go badly, I would say it will definitely have a negative impact on Demetri's standing. If the fight goes well, less so. But Master Aro sounded terse. It's no secret among the Guard that he doesn't appreciate unplanned side missions, especially without seeking his permission prior to taking action."
Great, one more thing for me to feel guilty about where Demetri is concerned. I'll be so happy when all of this is over.
"Well, ranking guard or not, I'm still going to speak with Master Aro upon our return. I'll try to make him understand that it was due to my influence that he chose to intervene in this situation."
Felix gave me a sidelong look.
"You really think that's going to make things better Bella? Really? Have you considered the fact that doing so will make Demetri look weak and unable to make sound decisions when you are involved? Think carefully before you act or speak Bella. Consider the repercussions. I believe that Demetri would much rather stand by his decision on his own than appear as though he had lost control of the mission and let you talk him into things."
Felix sat forward and gave me a rather hard look.
"And before you say anything, no, this is not about pride. This is about his rank and responsibility in the Guard and his esteem in the regard of the Masters. He is, first and foremost, our ranking Guard on this mission. Not your lover or mate. If he is presented as anything less, it will not be well for him." He shook his head a bit before continuing.
"I really thought you understood all of these nuances where our professional and personal lives are concerned. If not, you need to learn quickly. There could be situations much worse than this in the future. Within the ranks of the Volturi, especially the Elite Guard, you must always be a Guard first and lover or mate second. If that philosophy is not followed, focus is lost, order is lost and ultimately lives are lost."
I looked down, lost in thought for a moment. Everything Felix said made sense but it didn't make any of this any easier. I did however see the need to refrain from interfering when we returned and faced the Masters. Demetri would stand on his own as the ranking guard, come what may and where I had once felt triumph at influencing his decision to help in this fight, I now only felt guilt. We were now committed to helping, but at what price? And it was a price that I wouldn't even be responsible for paying. I leveled my gaze at Felix who was studying me silently.
"We have to win with no casualties or mistakes this evening Felix. We have to do this for Demetri. At least in that way, I will not fail him."
He nodded.
I glanced around, looking for Jasper. I needed to speak with him about this fight. I wanted to know if he had any plans for who was going to take out the experienced fighters, specifically Maria. He had left the living room a while ago.
I found him once again in his study, speaking with Demetri. I knocked on the doorframe and they both turned to me. Jasper gave me a small smile.
"Bella, come on in. We were just discussing last minute details for the fight tonight."
I made my way over to where Demetri sat, taking a seat next to him.
"That's perfect actually because I wanted to discuss the very same. Do you have any plans for who will be facing the experienced fighters of the bunch such as Maria and any officers she may have?"
Jasper nodded.
"Sure do, and we were just about to hold one last meeting with everyone to brief them. Shall we make our way out and gather everyone?"
Demetri got up and offered me his hand. I smiled and took it. We made our way back to the living room and I heard Jasper announcing the meeting. We all gathered and faced him, waiting.
"Demetri and I decided that we needed to address a few small details concerning the coming fight. To minimize confusion, we wanted to clarify who would be handling certain individuals. Peter and I will handle Maria and any officers she may have with her. We know of only two. The rest should be newborns, and relatively inexperienced. She cares not for their longevity, only the ability to attack and overwhelm in numbers, therefore she does not spend much time or effort training them to properly fight. That didn't used to be the case when Peter and I did all the training for her, but based on recent information, it has been a very long time since she's had someone competent to train her soldiers. I've been assured by Demetri that you are all well trained in fighting techniques, especially those against newborns so I won't bore you with unneeded instruction."
He then began to pass around a sheet with the likenesses of three individuals on it. They were sketches, but they were very detailed and might have passed for slightly grainy photos if I didn't know better.
"These individuals are Maria and her two known officers that, again, Peter and I will be targeting. Become familiar with them so there won't be any confusion. In the unlikely scenario that Pete and I should be overpowered by them or they escape from us, then by all means, destroy them if you have the opportunity. I really don't have any further instructions other than remaining focused and to never underestimate your opponent. I defer to Demetri for any further instructions or advice he may have for you."
He sat next to Pete and Demetri looked at all of us in turn.
"I am confident in the fighting prowess of all of you, even without considering your gifts. But as Jasper said, remain focused. Do not become distracted."
He looked at me at this point.
"Even if someone you care for looks to be in peril. We are all capable fighters, but when half your focus is on someone else and their fight, you WILL miss something vital at some point and it may cost you your life. The best thing to do for those you care for is remain focused."
I met his gaze with a steady one and nodded. Message received. No matter what, my mind would remain in my fight and no where else until the dust settled.
The rest of the day was spent on various ways to while away the time. The tension in the house was replaced by something closer to anticipation as we all watched the sun sink below the horizon from the windows at the rear of the house. We were all being relatively silent in order to hear any subtle sounds of approach and we didn't have to wait long.
Just after sunset, we could all hear the faint rumble of a group of vampires. At least that's what the others with experience confirmed for me when I looked to them upon hearing it.
The group of us that would be heading out back and circling around the approaching soldiers were all staying out of sight of the windows. We didn't want to ruin the surprise after all.
Once we got the signal from Jasper, we would all move out in varying directions to form the net and close the trap. I would shield our group until we were close enough to attack. My physical shield would prevent the enemy from hearing or scenting us.
I could just make out the group approaching the front of the property when Jasper gave a subtle nod and we slipped out the back, splitting up and taking off. It didn't take long for me to hear the faint sounds of a vampire being destroyed. It sounded like it came from where Felix had gone. Jane and Alec had gone to my left and Felix and I had gone to the right leaving Demetri to head straight, away from the back of the house until he would meet up with Felix and I to close the circle toward the front.
I was just hearing the faint sounds of vampire destruction, this time in Jane and Alec's direction when I spotted a newborn vampire just seconds away from me. I flew at him and took him down with a quick blow to the head as I dodged his sloppy attempt at a two armed grab. He hopped back up and came at me again but this time I stood still, waiting. I ducked his assault and grabbed his head on the way by, wrenching it from his shoulders. I made sure to toss it far enough away that he couldn't reassemble himself any time soon and took off to finish the circle.
Once at the front of the property, I could see the others in my group and we moved as a unit, getting closer until we could see that Maria was distracted by speaking to Jasper. I could just make out that she was trying to convince him to rejoin her, with an ultimatum to do so or die the second death this day. Her entire group was facing the confrontation between them and never saw us closing in.
Once Jasper had determined that we were close enough, he gave another nod of his head and then all hell broke loose as we attacked.
I took out a woman right away with a ducked grab and a twist of her head. The next one was a huge guy that was determined to piss me off. Seemed he had had some training from somewhere because he wasn't employing the standard newborn rush and grab. He circled me, looking for an opening or waiting for me to make a move, I wasn't sure which. So we circled for a time until I got bored and rushed him, falling into a slide at the last second and taking out his legs. Once he was face down on the ground, I wasted no time jumping in the middle of his shoulder blades and grabbing both his arms, wrenching up and tearing them off. Once I had his arms, it was a simple thing to dismember him fully.
I took a quick glance around to spot any potential targets and was just in time to see Jasper with his teeth at Maria's neck. He bit while twisting her head and she knew no more.
Peter and Charlotte had taken out her officers, and the rest of my group was gathering parts for the fire. Felix was just off to my right, with the biggest grin on his face that I think I've ever seen. We found ourselves picking up parts in the same space and he looked over to me.
"Was that an exhilarating fight or what Bella?"
I laughed and shook my head.
"It was at that Felix. Hey, want to help me round up the others we left toward the back? Wouldn't want them to miss the bonfire fun."
"Sure. By the way, I saw that awesome slide you used on the guy. Put him right on his face. It was pretty sweet."
I grinned at him.
"It ought to be Felix. I perfected it on you, remember?"
The smile slid from his face and he scowled and pouted at the same time. Jesus, how was that possible?
"Yeah, I do remember. That shit wasn't funny. My nose had a crack in it for half the damn day."
I patted him on the back with an overly sympathetic look on my face and said in a sickly sweet tone of voice.
"I'm sorry for ruining your post fight high Felix. What do you say we forget about it and talk about how you kicked some ass today while we go collect parts for the fire?"
He gave me a flat look for a few beats before giving me a shove. I laughed and braced myself so I wouldn't go flying.
"Oh fuck off Bella."
He walked off muttering darkly about sarcastic bitches and I just kept laughing as I chucked a leg into the fire.
We all gathered just in front of the house to watch the purple tinged flames lick away at what used to be Maria and her army. I looked over at Jasper and wondered what he was thinking as he gazed at the flaming remains of the woman who had turned his life into a living hell for one hundred years. His face was blank and he wasn't projecting a thing. I guessed I would probably never know. I didn't have a right to such personal thoughts and feelings from him and found myself wondering why that seemed to bother me.
I gave myself a mental slap and slipped my hand into Demetri's who was standing beside me. He squeezed it lightly and smiled at me as I leaned into him.
I caught Jane watching us and she locked gazes with me, keeping her face in a carefully neutral mask.
Felix, Demetri and I turned and went into the house. I didn't know about anyone else, but I felt pretty dirty and was looking forward to a shower. Once standing under the hot spray, I felt the guilt and tension ease a bit, but not entirely. Would those feelings ever leave me? I had my doubts. God, emotions were hard to deal with.
I felt myself getting angry again at having to feel. How many people get mad because they feel emotions? How ridiculous a reaction was that anyway? Certainly not normal by any stretch of the imagination.
I sighed and shut off the water, stepping out and drying off. I walked out into the bedroom in my towel and Demetri was there waiting for me.
"Since the fight went so well and we still have plenty of night time left, we are going to leave in the next thirty minutes. I've already called for the jet to be readied and it will be prepared for departure when we arrive."
I felt my brows rise a bit.
"Wow, that was abrupt."
He looked a bit peeved.
"It is not abrupt. I have delayed things enough as it is for your request and this fight. We need to leave post haste and if we don't take advantage of the darkness left to us this night, we must wait until the next. That is time wasted, and I cannot afford to waste any more, Cara. I did not mention my plans to depart until I was sure that we would have enough night time left to do so."
He stood from the chair he'd been waiting in and gathered fresh clothes from his bag, heading into the shower. I could feel my brows inch up toward my hairline as I shook my head. I felt as though I had just been given a backhanded reprimand. Then I thought of the pressure put upon him by Aro and I felt about an inch tall for not understanding. The very least I could do was be understanding. Still, that tiny voice in my head that wouldn't shut up kept whispering about how he could have been less of a dick about it all.
I sighed and got dressed in my Volturi attire minus the cloak, packed my shit and went into the living room to wait. Most everyone was there already, including Jasper. Alec was still missing but showed up a minute later, still messing with his hair. I smirked. The boy loved his hair. He saw me smirking at him and rolled his eyes with a shy smile on his lips.
"Leave me alone about my hair Bella."
I chuckled a bit and sat down next to Jasper to wait.
"Hey Jas. You already say goodbye to Peter and Charlotte?"
"Yeah, sure did. They left already to go into the city. They said to tell you and I quote from Peter "Goodbye and all that shit."
I laughed. "Well, when you get back you'll have to tell him, and I want you to quote me, "Thanks for the hospitality and all that shit."
He smiled a wan smile. "Yeah, you got it."
And so it was that we found ourselves an hour later, boarding the Volturi jet, bound for Italy and in my case at least, some very difficult truth telling and a very uncertain future.
DISCLAIMER: Twilight and its inclusive material is copyright to Stephenie Meyer. Original creation, including but not limited to plot and characters, is copyright to the respective authors of each story. No copyright infringement is intended.