A Soul Darkened
by Laura Spudzmom
Chapter 16:
So live like you mean it
Love 'til you feel it
It's all that we need in our lives
So stand on the edge with me
Hold back your fear and see
Nothing is real 'til it's gone
I stood in the shadow of a turret silently observing the early evening hustle and bustle of the square below. I was waiting for the blackness of deepest night to fall, for that was my time, the time that I would revel in what I was. It was the only time I allowed myself to feel anything.
It had been almost a month since the Cullen trial and executions. Jasper had left almost immediately and I didn't blame him. He had spoken to me before he left and invited me to visit him any time I wanted or needed to. I knew that he could tell that there was much more going on than what was seen on the surface, but he had enough respect for my privacy to not mention it.
I told him that I would think about it, and I was. Seriously. Outside of small missions and regular duties, there wasn't much going on here and I was becoming bored with the monotony of it all.
The Kings had yet to decide what to do about the Denali coven, since they had known about me also, yet had done nothing. They were hesitant to wipe out another popular coven though so close on the heels of the Cullen's. We were basically in a holding pattern until a decision was made.
Checking the time, I realized that it was time to move back inside. There was one more group expected for the 'special' early evening tour of the castle. I smirked. Special indeed.
Feeding was the only time that I allowed myself to feel pleasure. I reveled in it and I really didn't care who was watching. Oh, they thought they were discreet in their careful observance of me, but I noticed the side glances and concerned looks. I wondered why. We are vampires. Aren't we supposed to take pleasure in the kill? I knew for a fact that Caius did, almost as much as me.
I mentally shrugged as I made my way to the throne room. Whatever their specific concerns were, they had yet to approach me. I wouldn't worry until I had to.
Slipping into the throne room, I quickly found a place off to the side and waited. I could see Jane watching me from the corner of her eye. We hadn't had much to say to each other since the trial, or more specifically since Demetri had walked out of my room and seemingly my life. I didn't get the feeling that she hated me or anything of that sort, but she was pissed at the situation, I was certain of that. She was just biding her time until she could lay into me. Well, if my plans came to fruition, she would have a longer wait than she anticipated.
With a smirk in place from my thoughts, I watched as Heidi herded her charges through the doors that closed with a solid thud behind them. The acceleration of such a large group of hearts at one time was something to behold, and my anticipation increased with the amount of adrenalin that I could scent in the air.
I surveyed the group, deciding on my first kill when I spotted him. God, he was gorgeous. Tall, probably six foot two inches, he had a swimmers build; wide shoulders, long, lean, cut muscles. He moved like a cornered jungle cat, pacing and staring with icy blue eyes barely shrouded by raven black hair in a choppy stylish cut.
I smirked as I spied the bleach blonde trying desperately to cling to his arm. It really was a shame that he would die this day, but I would enjoy it.
Aro stepped forward from his throne as was customary, arms spread wide, smiling widely. "Welcome to Volterra!"
We all converged as one, but I went straight to my target and knocked out the blonde for later.
I pinned him to the wall with my body and caressed his face while he stared around at the carnage with wide eyes. The screams were almost deafening but abrupt as no one wasted time in their feeding.
Except me, that is.
I pulled him to me and savored the smell at his neck. He tried to struggle but soon realized the futility of such actions, standing still, trembling.
I licked at his pulse while shredding the front of his shirt with my fingers. I followed a trail down to his chest where I continued my attentions, nipping and sucking, making minute cuts with my fingernails and savoring the blood that ran. He had his head tilted down, watching me in a mixture of pleasure and horror.
I locked eyes with him as I laved his nipple and smiled around the aroused bud as he groaned. I pressed my body closer to his and felt his arousal, grinding myself against it just before sinking my teeth slowly into his jugular.
I heard him gasp in a breath as his heart sped, pumping the sweetening blood into my mouth, some escaping down my chin. I closed my eyes while I fed from this gorgeous specimen, listening as his heart beat valiantly to the very end until he slumped in my arms, still, lifeless, dead.
I laid him aside gently and retrieved the bottle blonde, slapping her to rouse her. She came to and screamed immediately at the sight of me, blood running down my chin and neck as it was. I smiled widely at her as she babbled in Italian and yanked her straight up by her hair eliciting another scream, this time one of pain.
She tried kicking me and I scowled at her and tisked while shaking my head. She shouldn't have done that.
By this time, I was aware of the stares I had drawn as most everyone else was done feeding and the clean up was taking place but I really didn't care. Let them watch.
I slapped the blonde for her insolence and she cried out, fresh tears springing to her eyes. Turning her around, I yanked her hair exposing her neck to me. She whimpered and gasped as I sliced into her neck with a fingernail, lapping at the blood that began flowing. Judging it sweet enough, I bit down causing a piercing scream from her as the blood rushed into my mouth and over my lips. She didn't last long and I dropped her unceremoniously when her heart stopped.
Looking up toward the dais, I noticed Caius watching me with darkened eyes and Aro with something akin to pride. I bowed my head in respect and made my way out of the room, deciding a shower was in order. I was almost to my room when Jane stopped me.
"Bella. We need to talk."
I sighed at the look of absolute determination on her face.
"Okay, but I was on my way to get a shower. Give me a few minutes…"
She moved past me to my door.
"I'll wait."
I followed scowling a bit at her back.
"Or you can wait I guess."
When I got out of the shower and dressed, she was still there, standing at the widow that was open, cigarette smoke swirling around her. She turned to me.
"What the fuck happened to you Bella? I've never seen you so ruthless, cruel and emotionless. As a matter of fact, you rival some of the worst vampires I've seen, and that's saying something."
I answered over my shoulder as I passed her to get to the sitting room and the couch.
"And that's a bad thing? We're vampires for gods sake. What's wrong with enjoying our meals?"
I met her eyes as she took the other side of the couch.
"And yeah, I know you've been watching me when we feed. It's difficult not to feel your heavy stare on my back Jane even if it doesn't have the same effect on me as it does others."
She got up and collected the tequila and two glasses, sitting back down to answer.
"There's nothing wrong with it per se, if that's already your nature and you don't break any laws."
She poured out generous shots, and we drank. I motioned to the cigarettes and she nodded. Shaking out two, I gave her one and lit my own, taking a deep drag. She lit hers, tossed the lighter on the table and continued.
"This is a change for you Bella. You were always somewhat ruthless, but never cruel, but now it's as though you revel in their pain."
She locked her gaze with mine and waited. I scoffed a bit and took a drag from the cigarette, blowing out smoke as I answered with a raised brow.
"Pot meet kettle here Jane. You are one to lecture on enjoying the pain of others. At least I keep it to the species of our food. You like to spread your joy throughout the vampire community too."
She shot me a glare.
"Quit deflecting Bella. We're talking about a huge change in you, and what the hell's caused it, not my ever present evil streak. Big difference. But alright" She nodded "…we can play 'guess what happened to fuck up Bella even worse than she was' if you insist. I think it was all the shit you put yourself through between you and Demetri culminating in something big happening after we got back to Italy. He won't say a word about it, but it's obvious that you two aren't together any longer."
She pierced me with eyes like daggers.
"So what happened? You were all lovey dovey toward the end of the mission and then we get back here and everything went to hell in a hand basket. So spill."
I crushed out the cigarette and poured two more shots, downing mine.
"I had sex with Jasper Whitlock when I went by myself to speak with him at his place. I didn't tell Demetri until after we got back here. There was just too much shit going on and I couldn't tell him until then. When I did, he got upset and walked out on me. We haven't spoken since then, and I miss him like I've never missed anything in my life Jane. I love him with my whole being and he'll hate me forever after."
I poured another shot and tossed it back too, waiting on her response.
"What the fuck possessed you to do that Bella? I mean, I've seen him so I understand the allure, but shit, you risked everything with Demetri."
I leaned back and shook my head.
"Being possessed at the time is an apt description Jane, but I'm not going to claim any such thing. It was just the heat of the moment. He kissed me and it went from there very quickly. I didn't think about anything, I simply felt and acted on it. I didn't go there thinking that I would bag Jasper in the process, ya know?"
I shook my head.
"When I realized what I had done and the potential consequences, I was terrified and it turns out, with good reason. I've lost him Jane and it hurts so much. I want him back and I just don't know what to do or where to turn."
I looked up at her.
"Will he ever forgive me Jane?"
She took a big breath and blew it out, shaking her head slowly.
"I just can't say Bella. I wish I could tell you he'll cool down and realize that this is just a bump in the very long road ahead of you guys, but he won't talk to even me about any of it, so I just can't say what he may be thinking or feeling."
I nodded. I knew this but it didn't make it any easier. When I looked back up at Jane I knew I had a dead look in my eyes and a bitter smirk on my face. I poured more tequila and drank it setting the glass on the table slowly, then met her eyes.
"It is what it is Jane. There isn't much I can do. This is my life and I will have to take it as it comes. I will deal with things the way I always do and if the people around me can't understand that, it's their problem. I'm not breaking the vampire laws. That's where I draw the line, but everything else is fair game and I don't want to hear any shit about it. I'll be taking a leave from here though, very soon. As soon as I can speak to the Kings. I won't go against them, but there's really nothing going on here now, so they shouldn't miss me."
She gave me a serious look.
"How are you supposed to fix things with him when you aren't here to do it Bella?"
I shrugged.
" He's had a month to cool down and hasn't so much as looked at me. He won't let me approach him either. He avoids me. Not much fixing going on Jane."
She took the shot that was still sitting on the table and poured two more.
"I still think you should stick around longer and give it more of a chance to resolve. A month is nothing in the life of a vampire Bella and he's very old remember? You still think in human terms."
I scoffed.
"So what, I'm supposed to wait him out for like twenty years or something?"
She smirked.
"Twenty years is nothing in the life of a vampire Bella."
I rolled my eyes. "Fuck you Jane. How long's it been since you got laid anyway?"
She shoved me with her foot.
"Bitch. We're not talking about me here."
I laughed darkly.
"That's what I thought. And yes we are talking about you since I asked the question. So, to use the line you love, quit deflecting. What's the answer?"
She shot me a dirty look.
"Fine, it's been….." She tapped her fingers on her thigh…."about three years, okay?"
"You see Jane? I don't want to have to blow the dust off my lady parts before using them again."
She flipped me off.
"But I don't want to do that with anyone but Demetri either."
She pinned me with her gaze.
"Then stick around and work it out. Don't quit on him. He'll come around."
Unknown POV:
I had been observing her long enough. It was time that I go and talk to the one person that I knew could make a difference.
She was, in my opinion, on the edge of becoming something that would not last long before going over the edge, resulting in her destruction. I had seen it happen before with young vampires. They become addicted to the thrill and get careless or too daring and wind up breaking the law.
I didn't want that to happen to her. She was too important to my best friend and it would destroy him if anything happened to her.
I made my way to his rooms and knocked. I heard him moving toward the door and it opened. He looked haunted and unhappy. I don't know what happened between them but whatever it was wasn't good.
"Felix, what's up? What are you doing here? Are we being summoned?"
I shook my head.
"No, nothing like that. I just needed to speak with you. May I come in?"
He stepped to the side and gestured toward the sitting area.
"Sure, come on in."
He now looked guarded as he took a seat across from me.
"So what did you need to speak with me about?"
I decided to come right out with it.
"Bella, and her actions of late. Have you noticed?"
His expression was now carefully blank.
"Noticed what?"
I was a bit incredulous now and I'm sure my expression reflected it.
"You're kidding, right? You haven't noticed how cruel and ruthless she's been with her kills? How she seeks out the young and beautiful when she hunts on her own? I've followed and watched her Demetri and she's on the edge. She's becoming addicted to the thrill and the rush she gets from it. It's not just feeding to her any more."
He remained almost unmoved but I could see concern in his eyes. It gave me some hope for them.
"And what am I supposed to do about it?"
My expression darkened.
"You created her D. She's your responsibility for one thing and for another, I know that you love her, deeply. Do you want to see her destroyed?"
I saw him flinch slightly.
"I know the Kings have noticed her during the group feedings, but they don't have a clue what she's up to when she leaves here, but I do. If they get wind of that, they will have her watched closely and who knows where things will progress from there. She's careful to leave the city of Volterra when she hunts, but she's still very close and she's left a couple of bodies drained and not disposed of properly. I cleaned up after her, but I can't be there every time."
He nodded.
"Alright, I'll take care of things."
I wasn't altogether satisfied with his answer.
"What happened between you two D? You've been avoiding everyone almost since our return. Talk to me."
He looked away from me for a bit and then turned back.
"She had sex with Jasper Whitlock when she went alone to speak with him. She didn't tell me until after we got back here. It's been a bit difficult for me to process. I keep wondering why I wasn't enough for her and kicking my own ass for loving her too much."
My eyes were wide. I could tell. This I hadn't expected because I know that she loves him.
"Maybe it was just a new vampire type of impulse D. You know it happens. She's still dealing with getting used to this life. We tend to forget that because she seemed to adjust so easily, but she's still entitled to fuck up D. You can't really hold that against her and I don't believe that she did it to hurt you."
He shrugged but I could see that he was actually thinking about my words. That was a good start. I had to help fix this before she went beyond the point of help. I knew neither of them would survive if she did.
Bella POV:
Jane left and I was restless. I needed to get out into the night. It was my only reprieve. I donned my cloak and made my way to the side entrance of the castle that I favored. No one else seemed to use it so it was perfect.
I slipped out and began my familiar journey out of Volterra when I heard the slightest sounds of someone following me. Whoever it was, they were downwind of me making it impossible to catch their scent. I was now on high alert, but I continued on.
I soon found myself back at the park where I had abducted the couple. It was late so there weren't many people around. I saw a couple of bums but they didn't stir any excitement when I thought of killing them; no challenge, no thrill.
I wandered aimlessly, sticking to the shadows for cover until I found myself in a quaint little neighborhood. Light spilled from the many windows as the families inside went about their nightly routines. Parents with children, reading bedtime stories, inspiring sweet dreams.
How I wished I had that when I was a child but Renee had always been too busy with her 'flavor of the week' and Charlie had been hundreds of miles away doing whatever it was he did.
I sighed. No use in looking back.
I turned back to trace my steps back to the castle, feeling hollow. I missed Demetri terribly but he had made it clear that he wanted nothing more to do with me.
I continued on slowly, in no real hurry to get back to my solitary room when I caught a very familiar scent. My head snapped up and I began searching for him. He emerged from the shadows in front of me, approaching me slowly. I didn't know why he was here and the uncertainty made my heart ache.
I stopped and waited for him.
"Demetri? What are you doing here?"
"I followed you from the castle. Felix was concerned about your recent activities and wanted me to watch out for you."
I felt my heart freeze.
"Felix was concerned." I said flatly. "Well you can tell Felix that I am fine, and you don't have to concern yourselves with me any longer."
I quickly turned to leave and he grabbed my arm.
"We are not finished speaking Bella."
I yanked my arm from his hold.
"Yes we are. If that's the only reason that you're here, then we have nothing more to speak about."
I hung my head. It hurt more than I thought it would that he wasn't here because he wanted to be.
He pushed me up against the building next to us and pinned me there with his body. I could feel his breath on my neck as he spoke.
"I am here because you are here Cara."
His voice was rough with emotion and I turned my face to his, our breath mingling in the night air.
I felt the backs of his fingers gently brush down the side of my face and closed my eyes, heart squeezing painfully in my chest from the sweet familiarity of it.
"I love you Cara, god help me, but I do. I can't just stop. I tried. I miss you and need you like the night sky needs the stars. I'm no longer complete without you."
I leaned into him and ran one hand through his silky hair.
"I'm so sorry for all that I've put you through Demi. So sorry. I miss you so very much and I love you to the deepest depths of my soul."
I backed up to look into his eyes.
"Can you give me another chance? Will you?"
So live like you mean it
Love 'til you feel it
It's all that we need in our lives
So stand on the edge with me
Hold back your fear and see
Nothing is real 'til it's gone
I stood in the shadow of a turret silently observing the early evening hustle and bustle of the square below. I was waiting for the blackness of deepest night to fall, for that was my time, the time that I would revel in what I was. It was the only time I allowed myself to feel anything.
It had been almost a month since the Cullen trial and executions. Jasper had left almost immediately and I didn't blame him. He had spoken to me before he left and invited me to visit him any time I wanted or needed to. I knew that he could tell that there was much more going on than what was seen on the surface, but he had enough respect for my privacy to not mention it.
I told him that I would think about it, and I was. Seriously. Outside of small missions and regular duties, there wasn't much going on here and I was becoming bored with the monotony of it all.
The Kings had yet to decide what to do about the Denali coven, since they had known about me also, yet had done nothing. They were hesitant to wipe out another popular coven though so close on the heels of the Cullen's. We were basically in a holding pattern until a decision was made.
Checking the time, I realized that it was time to move back inside. There was one more group expected for the 'special' early evening tour of the castle. I smirked. Special indeed.
Feeding was the only time that I allowed myself to feel pleasure. I reveled in it and I really didn't care who was watching. Oh, they thought they were discreet in their careful observance of me, but I noticed the side glances and concerned looks. I wondered why. We are vampires. Aren't we supposed to take pleasure in the kill? I knew for a fact that Caius did, almost as much as me.
I mentally shrugged as I made my way to the throne room. Whatever their specific concerns were, they had yet to approach me. I wouldn't worry until I had to.
Slipping into the throne room, I quickly found a place off to the side and waited. I could see Jane watching me from the corner of her eye. We hadn't had much to say to each other since the trial, or more specifically since Demetri had walked out of my room and seemingly my life. I didn't get the feeling that she hated me or anything of that sort, but she was pissed at the situation, I was certain of that. She was just biding her time until she could lay into me. Well, if my plans came to fruition, she would have a longer wait than she anticipated.
With a smirk in place from my thoughts, I watched as Heidi herded her charges through the doors that closed with a solid thud behind them. The acceleration of such a large group of hearts at one time was something to behold, and my anticipation increased with the amount of adrenalin that I could scent in the air.
I surveyed the group, deciding on my first kill when I spotted him. God, he was gorgeous. Tall, probably six foot two inches, he had a swimmers build; wide shoulders, long, lean, cut muscles. He moved like a cornered jungle cat, pacing and staring with icy blue eyes barely shrouded by raven black hair in a choppy stylish cut.
I smirked as I spied the bleach blonde trying desperately to cling to his arm. It really was a shame that he would die this day, but I would enjoy it.
Aro stepped forward from his throne as was customary, arms spread wide, smiling widely. "Welcome to Volterra!"
We all converged as one, but I went straight to my target and knocked out the blonde for later.
I pinned him to the wall with my body and caressed his face while he stared around at the carnage with wide eyes. The screams were almost deafening but abrupt as no one wasted time in their feeding.
Except me, that is.
I pulled him to me and savored the smell at his neck. He tried to struggle but soon realized the futility of such actions, standing still, trembling.
I licked at his pulse while shredding the front of his shirt with my fingers. I followed a trail down to his chest where I continued my attentions, nipping and sucking, making minute cuts with my fingernails and savoring the blood that ran. He had his head tilted down, watching me in a mixture of pleasure and horror.
I locked eyes with him as I laved his nipple and smiled around the aroused bud as he groaned. I pressed my body closer to his and felt his arousal, grinding myself against it just before sinking my teeth slowly into his jugular.
I heard him gasp in a breath as his heart sped, pumping the sweetening blood into my mouth, some escaping down my chin. I closed my eyes while I fed from this gorgeous specimen, listening as his heart beat valiantly to the very end until he slumped in my arms, still, lifeless, dead.
I laid him aside gently and retrieved the bottle blonde, slapping her to rouse her. She came to and screamed immediately at the sight of me, blood running down my chin and neck as it was. I smiled widely at her as she babbled in Italian and yanked her straight up by her hair eliciting another scream, this time one of pain.
She tried kicking me and I scowled at her and tisked while shaking my head. She shouldn't have done that.
By this time, I was aware of the stares I had drawn as most everyone else was done feeding and the clean up was taking place but I really didn't care. Let them watch.
I slapped the blonde for her insolence and she cried out, fresh tears springing to her eyes. Turning her around, I yanked her hair exposing her neck to me. She whimpered and gasped as I sliced into her neck with a fingernail, lapping at the blood that began flowing. Judging it sweet enough, I bit down causing a piercing scream from her as the blood rushed into my mouth and over my lips. She didn't last long and I dropped her unceremoniously when her heart stopped.
Looking up toward the dais, I noticed Caius watching me with darkened eyes and Aro with something akin to pride. I bowed my head in respect and made my way out of the room, deciding a shower was in order. I was almost to my room when Jane stopped me.
"Bella. We need to talk."
I sighed at the look of absolute determination on her face.
"Okay, but I was on my way to get a shower. Give me a few minutes…"
She moved past me to my door.
"I'll wait."
I followed scowling a bit at her back.
"Or you can wait I guess."
When I got out of the shower and dressed, she was still there, standing at the widow that was open, cigarette smoke swirling around her. She turned to me.
"What the fuck happened to you Bella? I've never seen you so ruthless, cruel and emotionless. As a matter of fact, you rival some of the worst vampires I've seen, and that's saying something."
I answered over my shoulder as I passed her to get to the sitting room and the couch.
"And that's a bad thing? We're vampires for gods sake. What's wrong with enjoying our meals?"
I met her eyes as she took the other side of the couch.
"And yeah, I know you've been watching me when we feed. It's difficult not to feel your heavy stare on my back Jane even if it doesn't have the same effect on me as it does others."
She got up and collected the tequila and two glasses, sitting back down to answer.
"There's nothing wrong with it per se, if that's already your nature and you don't break any laws."
She poured out generous shots, and we drank. I motioned to the cigarettes and she nodded. Shaking out two, I gave her one and lit my own, taking a deep drag. She lit hers, tossed the lighter on the table and continued.
"This is a change for you Bella. You were always somewhat ruthless, but never cruel, but now it's as though you revel in their pain."
She locked her gaze with mine and waited. I scoffed a bit and took a drag from the cigarette, blowing out smoke as I answered with a raised brow.
"Pot meet kettle here Jane. You are one to lecture on enjoying the pain of others. At least I keep it to the species of our food. You like to spread your joy throughout the vampire community too."
She shot me a glare.
"Quit deflecting Bella. We're talking about a huge change in you, and what the hell's caused it, not my ever present evil streak. Big difference. But alright" She nodded "…we can play 'guess what happened to fuck up Bella even worse than she was' if you insist. I think it was all the shit you put yourself through between you and Demetri culminating in something big happening after we got back to Italy. He won't say a word about it, but it's obvious that you two aren't together any longer."
She pierced me with eyes like daggers.
"So what happened? You were all lovey dovey toward the end of the mission and then we get back here and everything went to hell in a hand basket. So spill."
I crushed out the cigarette and poured two more shots, downing mine.
"I had sex with Jasper Whitlock when I went by myself to speak with him at his place. I didn't tell Demetri until after we got back here. There was just too much shit going on and I couldn't tell him until then. When I did, he got upset and walked out on me. We haven't spoken since then, and I miss him like I've never missed anything in my life Jane. I love him with my whole being and he'll hate me forever after."
I poured another shot and tossed it back too, waiting on her response.
"What the fuck possessed you to do that Bella? I mean, I've seen him so I understand the allure, but shit, you risked everything with Demetri."
I leaned back and shook my head.
"Being possessed at the time is an apt description Jane, but I'm not going to claim any such thing. It was just the heat of the moment. He kissed me and it went from there very quickly. I didn't think about anything, I simply felt and acted on it. I didn't go there thinking that I would bag Jasper in the process, ya know?"
I shook my head.
"When I realized what I had done and the potential consequences, I was terrified and it turns out, with good reason. I've lost him Jane and it hurts so much. I want him back and I just don't know what to do or where to turn."
I looked up at her.
"Will he ever forgive me Jane?"
She took a big breath and blew it out, shaking her head slowly.
"I just can't say Bella. I wish I could tell you he'll cool down and realize that this is just a bump in the very long road ahead of you guys, but he won't talk to even me about any of it, so I just can't say what he may be thinking or feeling."
I nodded. I knew this but it didn't make it any easier. When I looked back up at Jane I knew I had a dead look in my eyes and a bitter smirk on my face. I poured more tequila and drank it setting the glass on the table slowly, then met her eyes.
"It is what it is Jane. There isn't much I can do. This is my life and I will have to take it as it comes. I will deal with things the way I always do and if the people around me can't understand that, it's their problem. I'm not breaking the vampire laws. That's where I draw the line, but everything else is fair game and I don't want to hear any shit about it. I'll be taking a leave from here though, very soon. As soon as I can speak to the Kings. I won't go against them, but there's really nothing going on here now, so they shouldn't miss me."
She gave me a serious look.
"How are you supposed to fix things with him when you aren't here to do it Bella?"
I shrugged.
" He's had a month to cool down and hasn't so much as looked at me. He won't let me approach him either. He avoids me. Not much fixing going on Jane."
She took the shot that was still sitting on the table and poured two more.
"I still think you should stick around longer and give it more of a chance to resolve. A month is nothing in the life of a vampire Bella and he's very old remember? You still think in human terms."
I scoffed.
"So what, I'm supposed to wait him out for like twenty years or something?"
She smirked.
"Twenty years is nothing in the life of a vampire Bella."
I rolled my eyes. "Fuck you Jane. How long's it been since you got laid anyway?"
She shoved me with her foot.
"Bitch. We're not talking about me here."
I laughed darkly.
"That's what I thought. And yes we are talking about you since I asked the question. So, to use the line you love, quit deflecting. What's the answer?"
She shot me a dirty look.
"Fine, it's been….." She tapped her fingers on her thigh…."about three years, okay?"
"You see Jane? I don't want to have to blow the dust off my lady parts before using them again."
She flipped me off.
"But I don't want to do that with anyone but Demetri either."
She pinned me with her gaze.
"Then stick around and work it out. Don't quit on him. He'll come around."
Unknown POV:
I had been observing her long enough. It was time that I go and talk to the one person that I knew could make a difference.
She was, in my opinion, on the edge of becoming something that would not last long before going over the edge, resulting in her destruction. I had seen it happen before with young vampires. They become addicted to the thrill and get careless or too daring and wind up breaking the law.
I didn't want that to happen to her. She was too important to my best friend and it would destroy him if anything happened to her.
I made my way to his rooms and knocked. I heard him moving toward the door and it opened. He looked haunted and unhappy. I don't know what happened between them but whatever it was wasn't good.
"Felix, what's up? What are you doing here? Are we being summoned?"
I shook my head.
"No, nothing like that. I just needed to speak with you. May I come in?"
He stepped to the side and gestured toward the sitting area.
"Sure, come on in."
He now looked guarded as he took a seat across from me.
"So what did you need to speak with me about?"
I decided to come right out with it.
"Bella, and her actions of late. Have you noticed?"
His expression was now carefully blank.
"Noticed what?"
I was a bit incredulous now and I'm sure my expression reflected it.
"You're kidding, right? You haven't noticed how cruel and ruthless she's been with her kills? How she seeks out the young and beautiful when she hunts on her own? I've followed and watched her Demetri and she's on the edge. She's becoming addicted to the thrill and the rush she gets from it. It's not just feeding to her any more."
He remained almost unmoved but I could see concern in his eyes. It gave me some hope for them.
"And what am I supposed to do about it?"
My expression darkened.
"You created her D. She's your responsibility for one thing and for another, I know that you love her, deeply. Do you want to see her destroyed?"
I saw him flinch slightly.
"I know the Kings have noticed her during the group feedings, but they don't have a clue what she's up to when she leaves here, but I do. If they get wind of that, they will have her watched closely and who knows where things will progress from there. She's careful to leave the city of Volterra when she hunts, but she's still very close and she's left a couple of bodies drained and not disposed of properly. I cleaned up after her, but I can't be there every time."
He nodded.
"Alright, I'll take care of things."
I wasn't altogether satisfied with his answer.
"What happened between you two D? You've been avoiding everyone almost since our return. Talk to me."
He looked away from me for a bit and then turned back.
"She had sex with Jasper Whitlock when she went alone to speak with him. She didn't tell me until after we got back here. It's been a bit difficult for me to process. I keep wondering why I wasn't enough for her and kicking my own ass for loving her too much."
My eyes were wide. I could tell. This I hadn't expected because I know that she loves him.
"Maybe it was just a new vampire type of impulse D. You know it happens. She's still dealing with getting used to this life. We tend to forget that because she seemed to adjust so easily, but she's still entitled to fuck up D. You can't really hold that against her and I don't believe that she did it to hurt you."
He shrugged but I could see that he was actually thinking about my words. That was a good start. I had to help fix this before she went beyond the point of help. I knew neither of them would survive if she did.
Bella POV:
Jane left and I was restless. I needed to get out into the night. It was my only reprieve. I donned my cloak and made my way to the side entrance of the castle that I favored. No one else seemed to use it so it was perfect.
I slipped out and began my familiar journey out of Volterra when I heard the slightest sounds of someone following me. Whoever it was, they were downwind of me making it impossible to catch their scent. I was now on high alert, but I continued on.
I soon found myself back at the park where I had abducted the couple. It was late so there weren't many people around. I saw a couple of bums but they didn't stir any excitement when I thought of killing them; no challenge, no thrill.
I wandered aimlessly, sticking to the shadows for cover until I found myself in a quaint little neighborhood. Light spilled from the many windows as the families inside went about their nightly routines. Parents with children, reading bedtime stories, inspiring sweet dreams.
How I wished I had that when I was a child but Renee had always been too busy with her 'flavor of the week' and Charlie had been hundreds of miles away doing whatever it was he did.
I sighed. No use in looking back.
I turned back to trace my steps back to the castle, feeling hollow. I missed Demetri terribly but he had made it clear that he wanted nothing more to do with me.
I continued on slowly, in no real hurry to get back to my solitary room when I caught a very familiar scent. My head snapped up and I began searching for him. He emerged from the shadows in front of me, approaching me slowly. I didn't know why he was here and the uncertainty made my heart ache.
I stopped and waited for him.
"Demetri? What are you doing here?"
"I followed you from the castle. Felix was concerned about your recent activities and wanted me to watch out for you."
I felt my heart freeze.
"Felix was concerned." I said flatly. "Well you can tell Felix that I am fine, and you don't have to concern yourselves with me any longer."
I quickly turned to leave and he grabbed my arm.
"We are not finished speaking Bella."
I yanked my arm from his hold.
"Yes we are. If that's the only reason that you're here, then we have nothing more to speak about."
I hung my head. It hurt more than I thought it would that he wasn't here because he wanted to be.
He pushed me up against the building next to us and pinned me there with his body. I could feel his breath on my neck as he spoke.
"I am here because you are here Cara."
His voice was rough with emotion and I turned my face to his, our breath mingling in the night air.
I felt the backs of his fingers gently brush down the side of my face and closed my eyes, heart squeezing painfully in my chest from the sweet familiarity of it.
"I love you Cara, god help me, but I do. I can't just stop. I tried. I miss you and need you like the night sky needs the stars. I'm no longer complete without you."
I leaned into him and ran one hand through his silky hair.
"I'm so sorry for all that I've put you through Demi. So sorry. I miss you so very much and I love you to the deepest depths of my soul."
I backed up to look into his eyes.
"Can you give me another chance? Will you?"
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