Essence of You
by Momma2fan
Chapter 1
No one ever thinks their soulmate, or who they think is their soulmate, will walk away and leave you broken. When you fall in love, you want it to be the forever kind. That’s what she thought she had until it was all ripped away. In one instant her life went from happy to miserable. She became a shell of a person after he left her in the woods, when he took her pseudo family away without so much as a goodbye. It wasn’t until months later that she finally started living again. All thanks to her childhood friend.
Unfortunately, like life does, things have gotten complicated again. As she stared out her window, she couldn’t fathom what it was that had changed. She knew the answers were within her grasp, but she couldn’t get to them. Turning from the window, she walked to her bed and flopped down. She reached above her head for the dreamcatcher that had been there since September. It was supposed to ward off bad dreams, but it hadn’t helped her. Only the friendship she had formed could do that, and now it was gone.
Out of nowhere she heard a tap against her window. Looking over she didn’t see anything, so she turned her head away. She heard it again, almost like pebbles against a pane of glass. Curious, she got up and opened her window.
“Jake, what the hell are you doing?”
“Move, Bella.”
She backed up and Jacob bounded from the ground to the tree and into her window like it was nothing. “Jake?”
Jacob wrapped her in a hug, “I’m sorry. I broke my promise again.”
She shrugged, “It’s okay. Kinda used to people breaking their word by now.”
“Bella, that’s not fair. I want to tell you, but I literally can’t.”
“Tell me what, Jake? What is this secret?”
Jacob sighed, “The thing is you already know. I wish you could just remember. Try and think about that day, when we walked on the beach and I told you those...”
“The stories, about the Cold Ones.”
He sighed, “Yeah, I guess that’s what you would remember.” Pulling her close again, he hugged her tightly. “Please, try to remember and then come find me.”
Before she could blink, he was out her window again and running into the night.
****
She knocked on the door early the next morning. When Billy answered, he could tell by the look on her face she had figured it out.
“He’s down at Sam’s. I think they’re waiting for you.”
“Thanks, Billy.” She leaned over and kissed his weathered cheek. With a smile, she got back in her truck and drove over to Sam’s place.
When she pulled up there were three large men, plus Embry and Jake sitting on the porch. She came to a stop and took a deep breath before she got out. Slowly walking toward them, she looked at each one, her eyes lingering longer on one before she blinked.
There was silence for several minutes, before she couldn’t take it any longer. “So, wolves?” All five of them nodded. Looking at Sam, “It was you that night in the woods, wasn't it? I remember a large, black wolf, but thought I was hallucinating.”
“Yeah, it was me. I found you. It’s something I’ll never forget.”
Bella hung her head. “I’m sorry, Sam.”
“Just tell me you’re doing better and it’ll be okay.” He walked forward and placed his hands on her shoulders, looking in her eyes.
“I’m working on it. Jacob, Quil and Embry helped a lot. They made me laugh again.”
“I’m glad. Let me introduce you to the two you don’t know and then you can meet Emily.”
She nodded and Sam turned her toward the two men still seated on the steps. “Bella, this is Jared Cameron and Paul Lahote.”
“Nice to meet you.” She smiled, but didn’t meet their eyes, afraid of what they would see.
Sam grabbed her around the waist, “Come on, I’ll introduce you to Emily. She could use another girl around here to talk to.”
****
Paul watched her walk away wondering how that could be the same girl he saw in Sam’s head. This girl was skinnier and had darker circles under eyes, like she hadn’t slept in a year. Stupid leech broke her. He still remembered the night her father had called in a panic. Billy and Harry had the pack phase in order to find the missing girl. Sam found her first, but they all saw it in his head.
He knew Jacob had been helping her, but Sam’s order had caused some damage, although it had been necessary. To hear from her that not only had Jacob helped, but so had Embry and Quil, it made him hate the Cullens even more for causing them to phase.
He followed the others into Emily and Sam’s house, just as he finished introducing her to his fiancé.
“Emily, this is Bella.”
Emily turned and smiled, “So, you’re the vampire girl.”
He watched as a small smile graced her face. “Well, not anymore. So you’re the wolf girl.”
Emily smiled, “We’re going to get along just fine.”
Bella smiled back, bigger than before. “Need any help?”
“Sure,” she turned to look at the pack that had come in. “You all go do what you need to do. Bella and I are gonna have some girl time.”
They watched as the pack walked out the door. Bella watched as, where five men once stood, five wolves ran away.
“So, Bella, tell me how you’re doing. I know you’ve had a rough time.” Emily placed a cutting board and a bowl of veggies in front of Bella, along with a knife.
Bella found herself mindlessly chopping cucumbers, peppers, carrots and tomatoes as she told Emily everything; how she met Edward, their relationship, Arizona, all the way up to her birthday and his departure. It wasn’t until she reached the end of her story that she made her quiet confession to the woman who was quickly becoming her friend.
“I don’t want to feel like this anymore, Emily, but I just can’t seem to get back to me. Does that make sense?”
Emily watched Bella carefully, scrutinizing everything. “Let me ask you some questions and maybe we can figure out what’s going on.”
After putting the salad Bella had chopped in the fridge, and putting two pans of lasagna in the oven, she told Bella to sit, while she got them both a glass of tea. Once they were seated, Emily took a minute to think about how to begin.
Tapping a finger against her glass, she looked at Bella. “How often were you around Edward?”
Bella waited for the jolt at the mention of his name, when it didn’t come, she looked at Emily. “Everyday at school, but then he spent every night in my bedroom when I was asleep.”
Emily looked at her thoughtfully, “So there was never really a time when you were without his scent?” Bella shook her head. “I wonder if his scent is still in your room.”
“Probably,” Bella told her even though it wasn’t really a question. “I wouldn’t know how to get rid of it. What are you thinking, Emily?”
“I think you’re addicted to his smell, his essence. Where before it brought you comfort, now it brings you pain, hence the not sleeping and lack of appetite. I think when you’re away from it, you begin going through some sort of withdrawal. I’m not a doctor or anything, but I think the symptoms would be almost the same. I can have one of the guys go check out your room, see if it still reeks of him. Would that be okay?”
“If you think that might help me. I’m willing to do anything at this point.” Bella acquiesced.
Standing up, Emily went out the door and let loose a shrill whistle. Bella watched as four wolves came out of the woods. “Shut your eyes, Bella, Sam is going to phase back.”
Once it was safe, she opened her eyes. “Before you ask...Sam, which wolf is which guy?”
Sam smiled at her, “Jacob is on patrol, but he is a russet colored one. The grey one with the black spots is Embry. Jared is the medium brown one and Paul is the silvery-grey one. I think you remember mine was black.”
“Yeah,” she nods. “Um...can I...can I touch one of them?”
Sam turns to look at his wolf brothers. Paul was the one to step forward. “Go ahead, Bella. He won’t hurt you.”
Bella slowly walked toward Paul, smiling as he lowered his head. Her fingers thread into the hair behind his ears, and she gave him a little scratch. As her hand continues its exploration, he begins to purr. She can feel his eyes on her as he watches her every move.
“I was expecting it to be coarse, but you’re so soft.” Smoothing her hands through his fur one more time, she stepped back. “Thank you.” Paul nudged at her with his snout in what she assumed was you’re welcome.
“Okay,” Sam looked at three of them. “Emily has a theory and we want to see if she’s right. I need one of you to go to Bella’s house, go to her room and see how strong the Cullen boy’s scent still is. While you’re there, pack up as much of her clothing as you can.” Jared yipped and ran off. “Alright, you two phase back, but first tell Jared to tell Jake what’s going on.”
Paul walked back out of the woods on his own two feet, and headed straight for Bella. “You can pet me anytime you want to, Iz.”
Bella giggled for the first time in months, causing Paul to grin and chuckle at her. She bumped him with her shoulder, “Thanks.”
Embry joined them, just as Jared comes around the corner. Sam and Emily walked back outside as he set a duffle bag on the ground.
“Well?” Sam questioned.
“Her room reeks. I can tell it’s old, but it’s so strong. The clothes in that bag smell just as bad.”
“Okay, Bella, we need to get all of these clothes washed...including what you’re wearing.” Emily lead Bella into the house and straight to the bathroom. “I want you to take a shower, scrub hard. If I’m right, I think you’re going to have withdrawals similar to an addict, although not quite the same. I’ll call your dad and see if you can stay with me for a couple of days. We’ll help you over the hump. I’ll see if one of the guys has a shirt you can wear. I’d let you wear something of Sam’s but I don’t want to smell like my wolf.” She giggled and shut the door.
While Bella scrubbed her skin raw, Emily went out to the pack. “Okay, she’s taking a shower, but she doesn’t have anything to wear. Does one of you have a shirt or something?”
“I do.” Paul offered.
“Go get it and come back. Sam, call Charlie and see if she can stay here for a few days. If I’m right, she’s going to get slightly sick. I expect she may sleep better, too.”
Paul was back by the time Bella was out of the shower. Emily handed her the shirt and he’d even found a pair of shorts that should fit her. Once Bella was dressed, she walked out to the kitchen just as Emily finished setting the table.
“Your clothes are in the wash, we’ll get that smell out of them. How do you feel?”
“Lighter, if that makes any sense.”
“Well, you already look better. You have some color in your cheeks.” Emily smiled at her. “Why don’t you go tell the guys dinner is ready.”
Bella walked out the door and softly stepped onto the deck, taking in the view before her. Woods surrounded all sides of the house, but you could see a part of the beach from where she stood. Turning to the guys who were goofing off in the yard, she smiled a genuine smile. The first of many that evening.
“Hey, guys! Food is ready.” At her words, there was almost a stampede. Bella would have been mowed over if Embry hadn’t tossed her over his shoulder, causing her to squeal. “Embry!”
All he did was laugh, before placing her down in a chair at the table. “I think that’s the most color you’ve had on your face in a while, Belly-boo.”
Unbeknownst to Bella, the pack had agreed to take shifts while she was getting acclimated to not having vampire scent around her. They had fun during their meal and had Bella laughing harder than she had in awhile. Soon, Embry left to take over for Jake on patrol, while Emily moved Bella’s clothes to the dryer and the others cleaned up. When Bella tried to help, they shooed her out of the kitchen.
She ended up in the living room and relaxed on the couch just listening to the sounds of life, something she had missed. She was finding there were a lot of things she had missed. She hoped this was the beginning of something new.
No one ever thinks their soulmate, or who they think is their soulmate, will walk away and leave you broken. When you fall in love, you want it to be the forever kind. That’s what she thought she had until it was all ripped away. In one instant her life went from happy to miserable. She became a shell of a person after he left her in the woods, when he took her pseudo family away without so much as a goodbye. It wasn’t until months later that she finally started living again. All thanks to her childhood friend.
Unfortunately, like life does, things have gotten complicated again. As she stared out her window, she couldn’t fathom what it was that had changed. She knew the answers were within her grasp, but she couldn’t get to them. Turning from the window, she walked to her bed and flopped down. She reached above her head for the dreamcatcher that had been there since September. It was supposed to ward off bad dreams, but it hadn’t helped her. Only the friendship she had formed could do that, and now it was gone.
Out of nowhere she heard a tap against her window. Looking over she didn’t see anything, so she turned her head away. She heard it again, almost like pebbles against a pane of glass. Curious, she got up and opened her window.
“Jake, what the hell are you doing?”
“Move, Bella.”
She backed up and Jacob bounded from the ground to the tree and into her window like it was nothing. “Jake?”
Jacob wrapped her in a hug, “I’m sorry. I broke my promise again.”
She shrugged, “It’s okay. Kinda used to people breaking their word by now.”
“Bella, that’s not fair. I want to tell you, but I literally can’t.”
“Tell me what, Jake? What is this secret?”
Jacob sighed, “The thing is you already know. I wish you could just remember. Try and think about that day, when we walked on the beach and I told you those...”
“The stories, about the Cold Ones.”
He sighed, “Yeah, I guess that’s what you would remember.” Pulling her close again, he hugged her tightly. “Please, try to remember and then come find me.”
Before she could blink, he was out her window again and running into the night.
****
She knocked on the door early the next morning. When Billy answered, he could tell by the look on her face she had figured it out.
“He’s down at Sam’s. I think they’re waiting for you.”
“Thanks, Billy.” She leaned over and kissed his weathered cheek. With a smile, she got back in her truck and drove over to Sam’s place.
When she pulled up there were three large men, plus Embry and Jake sitting on the porch. She came to a stop and took a deep breath before she got out. Slowly walking toward them, she looked at each one, her eyes lingering longer on one before she blinked.
There was silence for several minutes, before she couldn’t take it any longer. “So, wolves?” All five of them nodded. Looking at Sam, “It was you that night in the woods, wasn't it? I remember a large, black wolf, but thought I was hallucinating.”
“Yeah, it was me. I found you. It’s something I’ll never forget.”
Bella hung her head. “I’m sorry, Sam.”
“Just tell me you’re doing better and it’ll be okay.” He walked forward and placed his hands on her shoulders, looking in her eyes.
“I’m working on it. Jacob, Quil and Embry helped a lot. They made me laugh again.”
“I’m glad. Let me introduce you to the two you don’t know and then you can meet Emily.”
She nodded and Sam turned her toward the two men still seated on the steps. “Bella, this is Jared Cameron and Paul Lahote.”
“Nice to meet you.” She smiled, but didn’t meet their eyes, afraid of what they would see.
Sam grabbed her around the waist, “Come on, I’ll introduce you to Emily. She could use another girl around here to talk to.”
****
Paul watched her walk away wondering how that could be the same girl he saw in Sam’s head. This girl was skinnier and had darker circles under eyes, like she hadn’t slept in a year. Stupid leech broke her. He still remembered the night her father had called in a panic. Billy and Harry had the pack phase in order to find the missing girl. Sam found her first, but they all saw it in his head.
He knew Jacob had been helping her, but Sam’s order had caused some damage, although it had been necessary. To hear from her that not only had Jacob helped, but so had Embry and Quil, it made him hate the Cullens even more for causing them to phase.
He followed the others into Emily and Sam’s house, just as he finished introducing her to his fiancé.
“Emily, this is Bella.”
Emily turned and smiled, “So, you’re the vampire girl.”
He watched as a small smile graced her face. “Well, not anymore. So you’re the wolf girl.”
Emily smiled, “We’re going to get along just fine.”
Bella smiled back, bigger than before. “Need any help?”
“Sure,” she turned to look at the pack that had come in. “You all go do what you need to do. Bella and I are gonna have some girl time.”
They watched as the pack walked out the door. Bella watched as, where five men once stood, five wolves ran away.
“So, Bella, tell me how you’re doing. I know you’ve had a rough time.” Emily placed a cutting board and a bowl of veggies in front of Bella, along with a knife.
Bella found herself mindlessly chopping cucumbers, peppers, carrots and tomatoes as she told Emily everything; how she met Edward, their relationship, Arizona, all the way up to her birthday and his departure. It wasn’t until she reached the end of her story that she made her quiet confession to the woman who was quickly becoming her friend.
“I don’t want to feel like this anymore, Emily, but I just can’t seem to get back to me. Does that make sense?”
Emily watched Bella carefully, scrutinizing everything. “Let me ask you some questions and maybe we can figure out what’s going on.”
After putting the salad Bella had chopped in the fridge, and putting two pans of lasagna in the oven, she told Bella to sit, while she got them both a glass of tea. Once they were seated, Emily took a minute to think about how to begin.
Tapping a finger against her glass, she looked at Bella. “How often were you around Edward?”
Bella waited for the jolt at the mention of his name, when it didn’t come, she looked at Emily. “Everyday at school, but then he spent every night in my bedroom when I was asleep.”
Emily looked at her thoughtfully, “So there was never really a time when you were without his scent?” Bella shook her head. “I wonder if his scent is still in your room.”
“Probably,” Bella told her even though it wasn’t really a question. “I wouldn’t know how to get rid of it. What are you thinking, Emily?”
“I think you’re addicted to his smell, his essence. Where before it brought you comfort, now it brings you pain, hence the not sleeping and lack of appetite. I think when you’re away from it, you begin going through some sort of withdrawal. I’m not a doctor or anything, but I think the symptoms would be almost the same. I can have one of the guys go check out your room, see if it still reeks of him. Would that be okay?”
“If you think that might help me. I’m willing to do anything at this point.” Bella acquiesced.
Standing up, Emily went out the door and let loose a shrill whistle. Bella watched as four wolves came out of the woods. “Shut your eyes, Bella, Sam is going to phase back.”
Once it was safe, she opened her eyes. “Before you ask...Sam, which wolf is which guy?”
Sam smiled at her, “Jacob is on patrol, but he is a russet colored one. The grey one with the black spots is Embry. Jared is the medium brown one and Paul is the silvery-grey one. I think you remember mine was black.”
“Yeah,” she nods. “Um...can I...can I touch one of them?”
Sam turns to look at his wolf brothers. Paul was the one to step forward. “Go ahead, Bella. He won’t hurt you.”
Bella slowly walked toward Paul, smiling as he lowered his head. Her fingers thread into the hair behind his ears, and she gave him a little scratch. As her hand continues its exploration, he begins to purr. She can feel his eyes on her as he watches her every move.
“I was expecting it to be coarse, but you’re so soft.” Smoothing her hands through his fur one more time, she stepped back. “Thank you.” Paul nudged at her with his snout in what she assumed was you’re welcome.
“Okay,” Sam looked at three of them. “Emily has a theory and we want to see if she’s right. I need one of you to go to Bella’s house, go to her room and see how strong the Cullen boy’s scent still is. While you’re there, pack up as much of her clothing as you can.” Jared yipped and ran off. “Alright, you two phase back, but first tell Jared to tell Jake what’s going on.”
Paul walked back out of the woods on his own two feet, and headed straight for Bella. “You can pet me anytime you want to, Iz.”
Bella giggled for the first time in months, causing Paul to grin and chuckle at her. She bumped him with her shoulder, “Thanks.”
Embry joined them, just as Jared comes around the corner. Sam and Emily walked back outside as he set a duffle bag on the ground.
“Well?” Sam questioned.
“Her room reeks. I can tell it’s old, but it’s so strong. The clothes in that bag smell just as bad.”
“Okay, Bella, we need to get all of these clothes washed...including what you’re wearing.” Emily lead Bella into the house and straight to the bathroom. “I want you to take a shower, scrub hard. If I’m right, I think you’re going to have withdrawals similar to an addict, although not quite the same. I’ll call your dad and see if you can stay with me for a couple of days. We’ll help you over the hump. I’ll see if one of the guys has a shirt you can wear. I’d let you wear something of Sam’s but I don’t want to smell like my wolf.” She giggled and shut the door.
While Bella scrubbed her skin raw, Emily went out to the pack. “Okay, she’s taking a shower, but she doesn’t have anything to wear. Does one of you have a shirt or something?”
“I do.” Paul offered.
“Go get it and come back. Sam, call Charlie and see if she can stay here for a few days. If I’m right, she’s going to get slightly sick. I expect she may sleep better, too.”
Paul was back by the time Bella was out of the shower. Emily handed her the shirt and he’d even found a pair of shorts that should fit her. Once Bella was dressed, she walked out to the kitchen just as Emily finished setting the table.
“Your clothes are in the wash, we’ll get that smell out of them. How do you feel?”
“Lighter, if that makes any sense.”
“Well, you already look better. You have some color in your cheeks.” Emily smiled at her. “Why don’t you go tell the guys dinner is ready.”
Bella walked out the door and softly stepped onto the deck, taking in the view before her. Woods surrounded all sides of the house, but you could see a part of the beach from where she stood. Turning to the guys who were goofing off in the yard, she smiled a genuine smile. The first of many that evening.
“Hey, guys! Food is ready.” At her words, there was almost a stampede. Bella would have been mowed over if Embry hadn’t tossed her over his shoulder, causing her to squeal. “Embry!”
All he did was laugh, before placing her down in a chair at the table. “I think that’s the most color you’ve had on your face in a while, Belly-boo.”
Unbeknownst to Bella, the pack had agreed to take shifts while she was getting acclimated to not having vampire scent around her. They had fun during their meal and had Bella laughing harder than she had in awhile. Soon, Embry left to take over for Jake on patrol, while Emily moved Bella’s clothes to the dryer and the others cleaned up. When Bella tried to help, they shooed her out of the kitchen.
She ended up in the living room and relaxed on the couch just listening to the sounds of life, something she had missed. She was finding there were a lot of things she had missed. She hoped this was the beginning of something new.