Essence of You
by Momma2fan
Chapter 5
Paul drove the two of them down to LaPush while Bella stared out the window, singing along with the radio. He loved discovering new things about her, so hearing her sing like she did was a welcome surprise.
“Do you have patrol today?” Bella looked over at him.
He nodded, “I go after lunch. I’ll be back for the bonfire.” She nodded, but didn’t say a word. “What’s wrong, Iz?”
She shrugged, “Just not looking forward to spending the afternoon without you. I have a bad feeling. I’m not sure if it’s about Victoria or Jacob, maybe both.”
Paul parked the truck next to Jared’s and grabbed Bella’s hand. “Look at me.” When her eyes met his, he brought a hand up to her cheek. “You have nothing to worry about with the bloodsucker, we’ll get her eventually. As for Jacob, maybe talking to him will finally get him over this. I’m on with Quil, so Jared and Sam will be around if you need them.”
She nodded, “Okay.”
He leaned in and kissed her softly. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”
“Come on, before one of the guys starts yelling.” She grinned as she opened her door.
“Bella!” Emily and Kim squealed when they saw her. She smiled at him and ran to her friends as Jared approached to help with all the stuff Bella had prepared.
“She looks great, man.” Jared complimented as he grabbed a cooler.
“She really does.” He smiled after her.
Jared stared at his friend, “You’re in love with her.”
Paul snapped his head around to his friend and brother. His first instinct was to deny it, but he couldn’t. “Yeah,” he turned to look at his imprint. “Yeah, I am.”
“Have you told her?”
“No, man. I don’t think she’s ready. I can wait.”
Jared chuckled as he set the cooler down. He clapped Paul on the shoulder, “I think she’s more ready than you know. I have a feeling it won’t be long.” Jared walked over to join Kim, Paul hot on his heels.
Someone had set up the volleyball net, placed cornhole boards nearby and set out chairs so those who didn’t participate could watch in comfort. Paul spotted Bella with Emily closer to the water. He groaned when he watched her shimmy out of her shorts and take her hoodie off. Her bikini was going to be the death of him. Sam came up and clapped him on the shoulder, watching as Bella laughed at something Emily was telling her as they walked to the water.
“I’m glad to see her looking so well finally.” Sam commented. “She’s blossomed in the last few months.”
“I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, you know? What if the leech comes back and she wants him?”
“Paul, Bella loves you. She may not have said it, but I can see it. You aren’t gonna lose her.”
“I hope you’re right, Sam.”
“Paul!” Bella yelled from the water, signaling for him to join her.
He ripped off his black wife-beater and threw it down on Bella’s towel, before he and Sam walked to the water to join their women. Bella splashed him the minute he got near her.
“Oh, Iz, you shouldn’t have done that.” He charged after her, causing her to squeal as she tried to get away. Paul wrapped his arms around her waist, picking her up out of the water as she laughed. “Gotcha.”
“Put me down,” she laughed. After he set her back down, the water up to her hips, she turned to face him. “Thanks,” she wrapped her arms around his waist.
He pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “Are you having fun?”
Looking up at him, Bella smiled. “I am. I think I’m gonna go sit on the beach for a while, though.” She turned to look at Emily, “You coming?”
Emily nodded and gave Sam a quick kiss, before turning to wait for her friend. Bella looked up at Paul again, smiled and leaned up to kiss him. It was the first time she had initiated any kind of affection between them and Paul was quick to deepen the kiss. Bella finally pulled away and turned to walk up the beach with Emily.
“Damn, Bella, that was hot.” Kim commented when she and Emily got to her, causing Bella to blush.
After the girls had gotten comfortable, Kim started talking. “So, Bella, graduation is this week. What are you planning to do after school is over?”
Bella stared out at the water where she could see Paul and Sam throwing a football. She knew he could hear her and was anxious about what her plans were. Being part of the pack meant he was tied to LaPush, but the imprint meant she was tied to Paul. She couldn’t and wouldn’t abandon him, it would hurt them both too much.
“I’m gonna be taking some online business courses through U-Dub. I’ve already signed up for them. Now I just have to convince dad to get better WiFi.” She laughed.
“So you’re not leaving?” Kim probed further.
“I can’t, Kim.” Bella never took her eyes off Paul. “He’s tied to the res and I can’t leave him. I don’t want to leave him.” Even from where she was, she could see the tension leave his shoulders. She couldn’t help but wonder why he hadn’t said anything to her.
Sam grinned at Paul, “Told ya. She wouldn’t have said that if she didn’t love you.”
“Yeah, yeah.” He threw the ball at Sam and then walked toward shore, knowing his Alpha would catch up to him. The pair of them joined Jared who had just sat down with the girls.
“Tired of the water?” Bella grinned as Paul sat down beside her.
“Something like that,” he threw his arm around her, pulling her to him. “Are you really not leaving for college?”
“Paul, if this bothered you, why didn’t you ask me?” Bella met his gaze.
Standing up, he grabbed her hand and pulled her away from prying ears. “I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to influence your decisions.” He leaned against a rock and pulled her to him. “I know the bloodsucker never let you make your own choices and I don’t want to be like that.”
She reached up and soothed the worry lines from his forehead. “I know you don’t,” she said quietly. “Paul, what Edward did would have killed me if I hadn’t had people to lean on. Sure, I had Jake and the boys, but it wasn’t until Emily and you stepped up that I got better. I know the imprint draws us to each other, but I think there’s something else here. I can’t define it, but I want it.”
“Iz...” he started, but she placed her hand over his lips.
“Don’t.” She looked into his eyes, “Don’t over analyze this. I’m staying home and taking some online classes. I have a plan, I know what I want. I want you to think about what you want.” Without giving him a chance to respond, she walked back over to their friends.
Paul knew what he wanted; he wanted Bella, he wanted her forever.
****
After a huge lunch, which the pack devoured quickly, Paul and Quil had to go patrol.
“Please don’t leave the beach unless you’re with Sam or Jared. Okay?”
Bella nodded, “I promise. Be safe out there.”
He grinned, “Always.” He kissed her before he ran into the woods to phase. Once in wolf form, he and Quil began to run.
Q: You okay, bro?
P: Yeah. I just hate leaving her.
Q: The guys won’t let anything happen to her.
P: I know. Let’s just get this over with so I can get back to her.
Bella helped Emily and Kim clean up all the food from lunch, while the guys went ahead and prepared the area for the bonfire later. She had just closed the last tupperware container, when Jacob finally approached her.
Jacob had been watching her since he came back from his patrol. She looked beautiful and he knew that had a lot to do with Paul. He knew his actions had hurt her, but he couldn’t change the way he felt. He had loved Bella since he was eight years old and after helping her put herself back together, he felt like he was losing her.
“Bells?”
She turned and looked at him, before turning back to her task. “Jacob.”
“Can I talk to you?”
Bella sighed and looked at Emily and Kim. “You guys got this?”
“Yeah, go ahead.” Emily smiled.
Bella turned and walked away with Jacob, both of them silent. She was content to wait him out since he was the one with the problem. When they had walked far enough away from the group, but not so far Sam couldn’t see her, she stopped.
“You wanted to talk to me, so talk.”
“I’m sorry, Bells. I hate this...this awkwardness between us.”
“I’m not the one who caused it, Jake.” Bella informed him.
“I know, and I know I messed up, but Bells...” Jacob threw a rock. “Dammit! I’m in love with you, Bella. I want you to choose me, not Paul!”
Bella closed her eyes and sighed, “Jacob, you are my best friend and I love you. But I don’t love you the way you want me to.” She turned to look at him, “Look at me, Jake.” She waited until he turned to her. “Say I did choose you, what would happen if you imprinted on someone? I would be left broken again. I can’t do that, Jake, and you shouldn’t want me to.” She put her hands on his cheeks and stared at him. “I can’t be what you need me to be. Not just because you’re my best friend, but because I love him, Jake.”
Jacob couldn’t help the traitorous tear which fell from his eye. He’d lost his chance, not that he ever had one. He was only just admitting that to himself.
“I’m sorry, Jake.”
“It’s not your fault, Bells. I’ll get over it, eventually.” He looked over her shoulder and saw Paul’s wolf, watching them from the woods. “Go tell him you’re okay and I’ll walk you back.”
Bella walked over to her wolf, smiling when he ducked his head at her. “I’m okay,” she said as she ran her hand through his fur. “He just wanted to talk.” Paul pushed his nose into her belly, and whined at her. “I’m fine. Go.” She watched as he loped back into the woods.
She turned and walked back to Jacob, “Come on. The sun is gonna go down soon.”
Paul drove the two of them down to LaPush while Bella stared out the window, singing along with the radio. He loved discovering new things about her, so hearing her sing like she did was a welcome surprise.
“Do you have patrol today?” Bella looked over at him.
He nodded, “I go after lunch. I’ll be back for the bonfire.” She nodded, but didn’t say a word. “What’s wrong, Iz?”
She shrugged, “Just not looking forward to spending the afternoon without you. I have a bad feeling. I’m not sure if it’s about Victoria or Jacob, maybe both.”
Paul parked the truck next to Jared’s and grabbed Bella’s hand. “Look at me.” When her eyes met his, he brought a hand up to her cheek. “You have nothing to worry about with the bloodsucker, we’ll get her eventually. As for Jacob, maybe talking to him will finally get him over this. I’m on with Quil, so Jared and Sam will be around if you need them.”
She nodded, “Okay.”
He leaned in and kissed her softly. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”
“Come on, before one of the guys starts yelling.” She grinned as she opened her door.
“Bella!” Emily and Kim squealed when they saw her. She smiled at him and ran to her friends as Jared approached to help with all the stuff Bella had prepared.
“She looks great, man.” Jared complimented as he grabbed a cooler.
“She really does.” He smiled after her.
Jared stared at his friend, “You’re in love with her.”
Paul snapped his head around to his friend and brother. His first instinct was to deny it, but he couldn’t. “Yeah,” he turned to look at his imprint. “Yeah, I am.”
“Have you told her?”
“No, man. I don’t think she’s ready. I can wait.”
Jared chuckled as he set the cooler down. He clapped Paul on the shoulder, “I think she’s more ready than you know. I have a feeling it won’t be long.” Jared walked over to join Kim, Paul hot on his heels.
Someone had set up the volleyball net, placed cornhole boards nearby and set out chairs so those who didn’t participate could watch in comfort. Paul spotted Bella with Emily closer to the water. He groaned when he watched her shimmy out of her shorts and take her hoodie off. Her bikini was going to be the death of him. Sam came up and clapped him on the shoulder, watching as Bella laughed at something Emily was telling her as they walked to the water.
“I’m glad to see her looking so well finally.” Sam commented. “She’s blossomed in the last few months.”
“I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, you know? What if the leech comes back and she wants him?”
“Paul, Bella loves you. She may not have said it, but I can see it. You aren’t gonna lose her.”
“I hope you’re right, Sam.”
“Paul!” Bella yelled from the water, signaling for him to join her.
He ripped off his black wife-beater and threw it down on Bella’s towel, before he and Sam walked to the water to join their women. Bella splashed him the minute he got near her.
“Oh, Iz, you shouldn’t have done that.” He charged after her, causing her to squeal as she tried to get away. Paul wrapped his arms around her waist, picking her up out of the water as she laughed. “Gotcha.”
“Put me down,” she laughed. After he set her back down, the water up to her hips, she turned to face him. “Thanks,” she wrapped her arms around his waist.
He pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “Are you having fun?”
Looking up at him, Bella smiled. “I am. I think I’m gonna go sit on the beach for a while, though.” She turned to look at Emily, “You coming?”
Emily nodded and gave Sam a quick kiss, before turning to wait for her friend. Bella looked up at Paul again, smiled and leaned up to kiss him. It was the first time she had initiated any kind of affection between them and Paul was quick to deepen the kiss. Bella finally pulled away and turned to walk up the beach with Emily.
“Damn, Bella, that was hot.” Kim commented when she and Emily got to her, causing Bella to blush.
After the girls had gotten comfortable, Kim started talking. “So, Bella, graduation is this week. What are you planning to do after school is over?”
Bella stared out at the water where she could see Paul and Sam throwing a football. She knew he could hear her and was anxious about what her plans were. Being part of the pack meant he was tied to LaPush, but the imprint meant she was tied to Paul. She couldn’t and wouldn’t abandon him, it would hurt them both too much.
“I’m gonna be taking some online business courses through U-Dub. I’ve already signed up for them. Now I just have to convince dad to get better WiFi.” She laughed.
“So you’re not leaving?” Kim probed further.
“I can’t, Kim.” Bella never took her eyes off Paul. “He’s tied to the res and I can’t leave him. I don’t want to leave him.” Even from where she was, she could see the tension leave his shoulders. She couldn’t help but wonder why he hadn’t said anything to her.
Sam grinned at Paul, “Told ya. She wouldn’t have said that if she didn’t love you.”
“Yeah, yeah.” He threw the ball at Sam and then walked toward shore, knowing his Alpha would catch up to him. The pair of them joined Jared who had just sat down with the girls.
“Tired of the water?” Bella grinned as Paul sat down beside her.
“Something like that,” he threw his arm around her, pulling her to him. “Are you really not leaving for college?”
“Paul, if this bothered you, why didn’t you ask me?” Bella met his gaze.
Standing up, he grabbed her hand and pulled her away from prying ears. “I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to influence your decisions.” He leaned against a rock and pulled her to him. “I know the bloodsucker never let you make your own choices and I don’t want to be like that.”
She reached up and soothed the worry lines from his forehead. “I know you don’t,” she said quietly. “Paul, what Edward did would have killed me if I hadn’t had people to lean on. Sure, I had Jake and the boys, but it wasn’t until Emily and you stepped up that I got better. I know the imprint draws us to each other, but I think there’s something else here. I can’t define it, but I want it.”
“Iz...” he started, but she placed her hand over his lips.
“Don’t.” She looked into his eyes, “Don’t over analyze this. I’m staying home and taking some online classes. I have a plan, I know what I want. I want you to think about what you want.” Without giving him a chance to respond, she walked back over to their friends.
Paul knew what he wanted; he wanted Bella, he wanted her forever.
****
After a huge lunch, which the pack devoured quickly, Paul and Quil had to go patrol.
“Please don’t leave the beach unless you’re with Sam or Jared. Okay?”
Bella nodded, “I promise. Be safe out there.”
He grinned, “Always.” He kissed her before he ran into the woods to phase. Once in wolf form, he and Quil began to run.
Q: You okay, bro?
P: Yeah. I just hate leaving her.
Q: The guys won’t let anything happen to her.
P: I know. Let’s just get this over with so I can get back to her.
Bella helped Emily and Kim clean up all the food from lunch, while the guys went ahead and prepared the area for the bonfire later. She had just closed the last tupperware container, when Jacob finally approached her.
Jacob had been watching her since he came back from his patrol. She looked beautiful and he knew that had a lot to do with Paul. He knew his actions had hurt her, but he couldn’t change the way he felt. He had loved Bella since he was eight years old and after helping her put herself back together, he felt like he was losing her.
“Bells?”
She turned and looked at him, before turning back to her task. “Jacob.”
“Can I talk to you?”
Bella sighed and looked at Emily and Kim. “You guys got this?”
“Yeah, go ahead.” Emily smiled.
Bella turned and walked away with Jacob, both of them silent. She was content to wait him out since he was the one with the problem. When they had walked far enough away from the group, but not so far Sam couldn’t see her, she stopped.
“You wanted to talk to me, so talk.”
“I’m sorry, Bells. I hate this...this awkwardness between us.”
“I’m not the one who caused it, Jake.” Bella informed him.
“I know, and I know I messed up, but Bells...” Jacob threw a rock. “Dammit! I’m in love with you, Bella. I want you to choose me, not Paul!”
Bella closed her eyes and sighed, “Jacob, you are my best friend and I love you. But I don’t love you the way you want me to.” She turned to look at him, “Look at me, Jake.” She waited until he turned to her. “Say I did choose you, what would happen if you imprinted on someone? I would be left broken again. I can’t do that, Jake, and you shouldn’t want me to.” She put her hands on his cheeks and stared at him. “I can’t be what you need me to be. Not just because you’re my best friend, but because I love him, Jake.”
Jacob couldn’t help the traitorous tear which fell from his eye. He’d lost his chance, not that he ever had one. He was only just admitting that to himself.
“I’m sorry, Jake.”
“It’s not your fault, Bells. I’ll get over it, eventually.” He looked over her shoulder and saw Paul’s wolf, watching them from the woods. “Go tell him you’re okay and I’ll walk you back.”
Bella walked over to her wolf, smiling when he ducked his head at her. “I’m okay,” she said as she ran her hand through his fur. “He just wanted to talk.” Paul pushed his nose into her belly, and whined at her. “I’m fine. Go.” She watched as he loped back into the woods.
She turned and walked back to Jacob, “Come on. The sun is gonna go down soon.”