Essence of You
by Momma2fan
Chapter 8
As she suspected, when her name was called the pack cheered loudly. After the ceremony, Angela approached her and gave her a huge hug.
“I’m gonna miss you, Bella.”
“I’ll miss you too, Ang. But we’ll still see each other.” Bella assured her friend. “There’s school breaks and we can email and text. You’re not getting rid of me.”
It was much easier to make those promises now, especially with Edward and the Cullens out of her life. With Paul, she didn’t have to give up anything. In fact she gained so much more. She gained good friends, brothers and an extended family she wouldn’t have had. He could, and would, give her a long life and children. Things she never thought she wanted before, but couldn’t wait to have with him.
“You’re right, Bella. And I don’t leave for another month and a half, we’ll have to get together.” Angela smiled at her friend as Bella’s name was called.
“Definitely. Come on, you can meet Paul and some of my other friends.” Bella pulled Angela behind her toward the pack.
“Congratulations, Baby.” Paul pulled her to his side, kissing her temple.
She smiled up at him and Angela could clearly see the love between the two of them. It made her happy for her friend. She thought she and Ben had that, but after much discussion, they decided to split up. With college separation on the horizon, they both wanted to experience what else was out there.
“Paul, this is Angela.”
Paul held out his hand to the one friend who hadn’t abandoned Bella when the Cullens left her. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“You too.”
The rest of the guys joined them and she introduced Angela.
“Bella!” She turned around as Kim and Emily approached her. They both hugged her and congratulated her.
After a few minutes, Bella said goodbye to Angela with promises to get together before she left for college. She followed Paul to his truck after telling the pack they would meet them at the bonfire later. First, it was dinner at the diner with her parents.
****
By the time Bella and Paul arrived, the bonfire was raging. They had just filled their plates and were sitting down, when the ribbing started.
“So, Bella, how long before you move permanently to the res?” Embry laughed.
Bella choked on her burger, “I didn’t know I had any plans to.” She looked at Paul and saw him glaring at his pack brother.
“Well, gee, Bells, you spend enough nights at Paul’s. I’m sure he would like his regular to be there all the time.” Quil laughed, unaware of what he had started.
“Excuse me!” Bella stood so quickly, her plate fell to the sand.
“Hey, Ateara! You and Call might want to shut your fucking mouths. Especially about things which are none of your fucking business!” Paul was shaking he was so pissed.
Bella placed her hand on his arm in an effort to calm him down and prevent him from phasing.
“Come on, Paul! She spends enough time there, we know you’re bumping uglies.”
“Quil, Embry!” The alpha timbre was rich in Sam’s voice as he tried to nip things in the bud before it was too late. He should have known it already was.
“You’re fucking him?” Jacob stood up.
“Jesus, this is a nightmare.” Bella whispered, even though she knew the pack could hear her. Looking at her former best friend, “Not that it’s any of your business, Jacob Black, but no, I’m not fucking him. And even if I was, why would it matter to you?”
“You know how I feel about you, Bells!”
“Jake, look...” Paul started.
“No, Paul. I’ve got this.” She moved around him to stand directly in front of Jacob. Before she said anything to him, she looked at Embry and Quil. “Don’t think you two are off the hook. I’m pissed at you too.” The visibly shrank under her gaze.
Turning back to Jacob, “And you, I wanted to avoid doing this in front of the pack, but you can’t let it go! I’m not in love with you, Jacob. I never have been. You’ve always been my best friend, my brother. I wish you could see that.” She sighed, “I blame myself for some of it. You helped fix me when the Cullens left, when Edward abandoned me and I relied on you so much.” She looked over at the other two, “I relied on all three of you.” Once more she looked at Jacob, “But Paul is my future, Jake. I love him, you need to understand that. And even if there were no Paul, I still wouldn’t see you the way you want me to.”
“I don’t want to lose you, Bells.” Jacob said quietly.
“Then accept my relationship!” She took a breath to calm herself down. “Accept that I am Paul’s imprint and we love each other. But more than that, accept what I am offering you, which is my lifelong friendship.” She looked down and shook her head before looking back up. “One thing I can guarantee you, Jake, if you keep this up, you will lose me.”
Jacob watched as she looked over at Paul, love shining in her eyes for his pack brother. “How are you so sure, Bells? I’m not trying to say that you don’t love him, but how do you know?”
Bella sighed, “When Edward left me, everything I thought I wanted left with him. He was the first guy whoever paid me any attention. Me, clumsy Bella Swan, had the guy that all the girls wanted. But it was all an illusion.” She walked back over to the log she had been sitting on and sank down, Paul beside her. She looked around and saw she had the attention of everyone.
Looking back at Jacob, “Hanging out with you, Embry and Quil helped a lot. I smiled more, even laughed, but I still had nightmares and didn’t eat much. Emily was the first to figure out his scent was still lingering and causing an issue, but it was Paul who made the most difference.” She smiled at the man beside her.
“Jacob,” she looked over at him. “By February I hadn’t slept more than three hours a night in four months. That first night, Paul held me the whole night. I didn’t have a single nightmare and I got almost ten hours of straight sleep. But that’s not the only thing he did. He made me feel safe, Jake. He made me feel.” She looked at Paul, love shining in her eyes. He smiled and pulled her into his lap, nuzzling her neck. Looking back to Jacob, she continued. “I want you to try to remember how I was then. Think...when you hugged me, did I ever hug you back?”
Jacob thought about it, “No, I don’t think you ever did.”
“Did you ever wonder why that was?”
He hung his head, ashamed that he hadn’t taken the time to notice. “No, I guess I didn’t notice, Bells, I’m sorry. All I could think about was you being there and doing everything I could to get you to stay.”
“It’s okay, Jake. You asked me how I knew, that’s how. After that first night, I craved his touch. I found reasons to brush by him or just be near him.”
“That could have been the imprint.” Jacob argued.
“I didn’t know anything about that. I didn’t find out about the imprint until days later, when I already wanted to be around him. Jake, there’s nothing fake about the way I feel.” She looked over at Paul, meeting his brown eyes with her own. “He’s my heart.”
Watching the two of them stare at each other, Jacob finally understood. Paul would do anything for Bella and she was the same.
“I’m sorry, guys.” Both Bella and Paul looked at Jacob. “I get it. It won’t be easy, but I’ll let it go. I’ll let you go, Bells. I’d rather have you as my friend than not at all.”
“Thank you, Jake.” Paul spoke for the pair of them. Finally he and Bella turned their gazes to Embry and Quil.
“Now you two,” Bella started. “I know the pack shares a mind and I know damn well there’s nothing in Paul’s head about us, because we haven’t done anything!”
Sam decided to step in on this one. “Guys, what we see in the pack mind is not something we can help. We do our best to keep out any intimate moments with our imprints, but it doesn’t always work. That does not, however, give any of us the right to embarrass one of the girls. Good natured ribbing to our brothers is one thing, but you two crossed the line.”
Embry and Quil actually looked ashamed. “Sorry, Bella.” Quil apologized.
“Yeah, Bells. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”
Jared clapped, “Well, now that the drama is out of the way.” Everyone laughed at his joke and the tension was gone.
For the next couple hours, they laughed and had a good time. Finally it was time for Jacob and Embry to patrol and they called it a night.
*****
Paul and Bella were relaxing on his couch, snuggled up together as they watched a movie. He was lazily running his fingers through her hair, enjoying finally being alone with her.
Bella tilted her head to look at him. As their eyes met, he saw something he had been waiting to see since he told her how he felt. Ducking his head, he pressed his lips to hers, gently at first before deepening it and letting his tongue wrestle with hers. When oxygen became an issue, they broke apart, but his lips never left her skin, leaving a fiery trail in their wake.
“Paul...” Bella moaned. She turned in his arms and straddled his lap, before fusing their mouths back together.
With a groan, Paul wrapped his arms tightly around her, pressing her closer and tangling his fingers in her hair. Bella instinctually rocked her hips against him, moving over his hard length.
“Iz...” he ripped his mouth from hers. He stared into her eyes, which were heavy with lust. “Are you sure?”
“I want you. Please, make love to me, Paul. Make me yours.”
Holding onto her, he stood and she wrapped her legs around him as he climbed the stairs to his room. Placing her on the bed, he covered her body with his, kissing her with all the passion he felt.
Pulling down her sweater he bared her shoulder, nipping and sucking as he went. Bella was writhing beneath him, moaning and sighing with every kiss. When his thumb brushed over her breast and across her nipple, she cried out when she felt it tighten.
“Paul...oh god.” Reaching down, she ran her hands beneath his t-shirt, drawing it up so she could pull it off.
Taking his cue from her, he pulled her sweater off and tossed it to the floor. He ran his tongue over the creamy flesh above her lace covered breasts. Reaching behind her, he deftly unclasped her bra and pulled it from her, revealing her taut, pink nipples to his eyes. Bending his head down, he took one hard peek into his mouth, laving it with his warm tongue.
Bella clutched at his hair, holding him to her. “Ah...Paul...” she groaned.
Paul moved to her other breast as he reached down for the button of her jeans, popping it open and slowly lowering the zipper. He could smell her arousal and it was making his dick impossibly harder. Moving down her body, he kissed, nipped and sucked until her got the edge of her pants. Grasping the sides, he looked up at her for permission.
Nodding her head, “Please...”
Paul pulled her jeans and panties off and threw them with the rest of their discarded clothing. He took in the naked form of his imprint, his love, his life. He reverently placed a kiss to her belly, “You’re so beautiful, Iz.” Trailing his lips down further, he kissed the top of her mound before running a finger through her wet folds. “So wet for me, baby.”
Running his nose along her slit, he inhaled deeply, taking in the pure essence of her. Poking out his tongue, he licked her from bottom to top, before sucking her engorged clit into his mouth.
Bella arched off the bed as pleasure shot through her. Her hands went to his head, holding him in place as Paul licked and sucked her sweet nectar. While his tongue was busy with her clit, he gently pressed a finger inside her, feeling her walls pulsing around his digit. When he felt another gush of arousal, he pushed in a second finger, stretching her and preparing her for him.
“Oh, god, Paul...I’m so close.” Bella moaned.
“Come for me, Iz.” Paul gently bit down on her clit while curling his fingers.
Bella arched off the bed as her orgasm lit bright white lights behind her eyes, causing her to scream. “Paul!”
Paul continued moving his fingers as she came down from her high. Wiping his face, he pulled his shorts off and moved up the bed, covering her one more time. Pressing his lips to hers, he lined himself up with her entrance and slowly began pushing inside her. Breaking away from her, he stared into her eyes.
“I’m sorry, baby.” With one hard push, he broke her barrier and was fully seated within her. Her cry of pain was like needles straight to his heart and he kissed away the tears which rolled down her face.
The pain only lasted for a minute and Bella looked up at the man above her, love and desire shining in his eyes. She experimentally moved her hips, giving him the signal that she was okay.
Paul pulled out and pushed back in slowly, letting her get used to the sensation. Bella wrapped her legs around his hips and met his thrusts with her own. Soon they found themselves a slow rhythm, one which was building the pleasure up and had Bella begging for more.
“More, Paul. Harder.”
He grunted as he increased his pace, nearly slamming his hips against her. The only sounds in the room were their mutual moans and sighs and the slapping of flesh. Paul could feel his impending orgasm and wanted Bella to come with him. Reaching between them, he rubbed and pinched at her nub, causing her to cry out.
“Come on, Iz. Come with me, baby.” Paul panted as he pistoned his hips, racing toward the finish line.
“Oh, god, Paul...I’m coming!” Bella shouted as her walls tightened around him.
“Fuck!” Her walls clenching tightly around him brought forth his own release as she milked him for all he was worth. When the spasms stopped, he collapsed on her.
Rolling off her, he slipped from her causing her to whine at the loss. Their bodies were slick with sweat as the lay wrapped together.
“I love you, Paul.”
Paul kissed her head and brought his hand down to her chin, lifting her face to his. Placing a gentle kiss to her lips, “I love you, too.”
As the pair was drifting off, cuddled in their post coital bliss, a howl ripped through the night, shattering the bubble they were in.
As she suspected, when her name was called the pack cheered loudly. After the ceremony, Angela approached her and gave her a huge hug.
“I’m gonna miss you, Bella.”
“I’ll miss you too, Ang. But we’ll still see each other.” Bella assured her friend. “There’s school breaks and we can email and text. You’re not getting rid of me.”
It was much easier to make those promises now, especially with Edward and the Cullens out of her life. With Paul, she didn’t have to give up anything. In fact she gained so much more. She gained good friends, brothers and an extended family she wouldn’t have had. He could, and would, give her a long life and children. Things she never thought she wanted before, but couldn’t wait to have with him.
“You’re right, Bella. And I don’t leave for another month and a half, we’ll have to get together.” Angela smiled at her friend as Bella’s name was called.
“Definitely. Come on, you can meet Paul and some of my other friends.” Bella pulled Angela behind her toward the pack.
“Congratulations, Baby.” Paul pulled her to his side, kissing her temple.
She smiled up at him and Angela could clearly see the love between the two of them. It made her happy for her friend. She thought she and Ben had that, but after much discussion, they decided to split up. With college separation on the horizon, they both wanted to experience what else was out there.
“Paul, this is Angela.”
Paul held out his hand to the one friend who hadn’t abandoned Bella when the Cullens left her. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“You too.”
The rest of the guys joined them and she introduced Angela.
“Bella!” She turned around as Kim and Emily approached her. They both hugged her and congratulated her.
After a few minutes, Bella said goodbye to Angela with promises to get together before she left for college. She followed Paul to his truck after telling the pack they would meet them at the bonfire later. First, it was dinner at the diner with her parents.
****
By the time Bella and Paul arrived, the bonfire was raging. They had just filled their plates and were sitting down, when the ribbing started.
“So, Bella, how long before you move permanently to the res?” Embry laughed.
Bella choked on her burger, “I didn’t know I had any plans to.” She looked at Paul and saw him glaring at his pack brother.
“Well, gee, Bells, you spend enough nights at Paul’s. I’m sure he would like his regular to be there all the time.” Quil laughed, unaware of what he had started.
“Excuse me!” Bella stood so quickly, her plate fell to the sand.
“Hey, Ateara! You and Call might want to shut your fucking mouths. Especially about things which are none of your fucking business!” Paul was shaking he was so pissed.
Bella placed her hand on his arm in an effort to calm him down and prevent him from phasing.
“Come on, Paul! She spends enough time there, we know you’re bumping uglies.”
“Quil, Embry!” The alpha timbre was rich in Sam’s voice as he tried to nip things in the bud before it was too late. He should have known it already was.
“You’re fucking him?” Jacob stood up.
“Jesus, this is a nightmare.” Bella whispered, even though she knew the pack could hear her. Looking at her former best friend, “Not that it’s any of your business, Jacob Black, but no, I’m not fucking him. And even if I was, why would it matter to you?”
“You know how I feel about you, Bells!”
“Jake, look...” Paul started.
“No, Paul. I’ve got this.” She moved around him to stand directly in front of Jacob. Before she said anything to him, she looked at Embry and Quil. “Don’t think you two are off the hook. I’m pissed at you too.” The visibly shrank under her gaze.
Turning back to Jacob, “And you, I wanted to avoid doing this in front of the pack, but you can’t let it go! I’m not in love with you, Jacob. I never have been. You’ve always been my best friend, my brother. I wish you could see that.” She sighed, “I blame myself for some of it. You helped fix me when the Cullens left, when Edward abandoned me and I relied on you so much.” She looked over at the other two, “I relied on all three of you.” Once more she looked at Jacob, “But Paul is my future, Jake. I love him, you need to understand that. And even if there were no Paul, I still wouldn’t see you the way you want me to.”
“I don’t want to lose you, Bells.” Jacob said quietly.
“Then accept my relationship!” She took a breath to calm herself down. “Accept that I am Paul’s imprint and we love each other. But more than that, accept what I am offering you, which is my lifelong friendship.” She looked down and shook her head before looking back up. “One thing I can guarantee you, Jake, if you keep this up, you will lose me.”
Jacob watched as she looked over at Paul, love shining in her eyes for his pack brother. “How are you so sure, Bells? I’m not trying to say that you don’t love him, but how do you know?”
Bella sighed, “When Edward left me, everything I thought I wanted left with him. He was the first guy whoever paid me any attention. Me, clumsy Bella Swan, had the guy that all the girls wanted. But it was all an illusion.” She walked back over to the log she had been sitting on and sank down, Paul beside her. She looked around and saw she had the attention of everyone.
Looking back at Jacob, “Hanging out with you, Embry and Quil helped a lot. I smiled more, even laughed, but I still had nightmares and didn’t eat much. Emily was the first to figure out his scent was still lingering and causing an issue, but it was Paul who made the most difference.” She smiled at the man beside her.
“Jacob,” she looked over at him. “By February I hadn’t slept more than three hours a night in four months. That first night, Paul held me the whole night. I didn’t have a single nightmare and I got almost ten hours of straight sleep. But that’s not the only thing he did. He made me feel safe, Jake. He made me feel.” She looked at Paul, love shining in her eyes. He smiled and pulled her into his lap, nuzzling her neck. Looking back to Jacob, she continued. “I want you to try to remember how I was then. Think...when you hugged me, did I ever hug you back?”
Jacob thought about it, “No, I don’t think you ever did.”
“Did you ever wonder why that was?”
He hung his head, ashamed that he hadn’t taken the time to notice. “No, I guess I didn’t notice, Bells, I’m sorry. All I could think about was you being there and doing everything I could to get you to stay.”
“It’s okay, Jake. You asked me how I knew, that’s how. After that first night, I craved his touch. I found reasons to brush by him or just be near him.”
“That could have been the imprint.” Jacob argued.
“I didn’t know anything about that. I didn’t find out about the imprint until days later, when I already wanted to be around him. Jake, there’s nothing fake about the way I feel.” She looked over at Paul, meeting his brown eyes with her own. “He’s my heart.”
Watching the two of them stare at each other, Jacob finally understood. Paul would do anything for Bella and she was the same.
“I’m sorry, guys.” Both Bella and Paul looked at Jacob. “I get it. It won’t be easy, but I’ll let it go. I’ll let you go, Bells. I’d rather have you as my friend than not at all.”
“Thank you, Jake.” Paul spoke for the pair of them. Finally he and Bella turned their gazes to Embry and Quil.
“Now you two,” Bella started. “I know the pack shares a mind and I know damn well there’s nothing in Paul’s head about us, because we haven’t done anything!”
Sam decided to step in on this one. “Guys, what we see in the pack mind is not something we can help. We do our best to keep out any intimate moments with our imprints, but it doesn’t always work. That does not, however, give any of us the right to embarrass one of the girls. Good natured ribbing to our brothers is one thing, but you two crossed the line.”
Embry and Quil actually looked ashamed. “Sorry, Bella.” Quil apologized.
“Yeah, Bells. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”
Jared clapped, “Well, now that the drama is out of the way.” Everyone laughed at his joke and the tension was gone.
For the next couple hours, they laughed and had a good time. Finally it was time for Jacob and Embry to patrol and they called it a night.
*****
Paul and Bella were relaxing on his couch, snuggled up together as they watched a movie. He was lazily running his fingers through her hair, enjoying finally being alone with her.
Bella tilted her head to look at him. As their eyes met, he saw something he had been waiting to see since he told her how he felt. Ducking his head, he pressed his lips to hers, gently at first before deepening it and letting his tongue wrestle with hers. When oxygen became an issue, they broke apart, but his lips never left her skin, leaving a fiery trail in their wake.
“Paul...” Bella moaned. She turned in his arms and straddled his lap, before fusing their mouths back together.
With a groan, Paul wrapped his arms tightly around her, pressing her closer and tangling his fingers in her hair. Bella instinctually rocked her hips against him, moving over his hard length.
“Iz...” he ripped his mouth from hers. He stared into her eyes, which were heavy with lust. “Are you sure?”
“I want you. Please, make love to me, Paul. Make me yours.”
Holding onto her, he stood and she wrapped her legs around him as he climbed the stairs to his room. Placing her on the bed, he covered her body with his, kissing her with all the passion he felt.
Pulling down her sweater he bared her shoulder, nipping and sucking as he went. Bella was writhing beneath him, moaning and sighing with every kiss. When his thumb brushed over her breast and across her nipple, she cried out when she felt it tighten.
“Paul...oh god.” Reaching down, she ran her hands beneath his t-shirt, drawing it up so she could pull it off.
Taking his cue from her, he pulled her sweater off and tossed it to the floor. He ran his tongue over the creamy flesh above her lace covered breasts. Reaching behind her, he deftly unclasped her bra and pulled it from her, revealing her taut, pink nipples to his eyes. Bending his head down, he took one hard peek into his mouth, laving it with his warm tongue.
Bella clutched at his hair, holding him to her. “Ah...Paul...” she groaned.
Paul moved to her other breast as he reached down for the button of her jeans, popping it open and slowly lowering the zipper. He could smell her arousal and it was making his dick impossibly harder. Moving down her body, he kissed, nipped and sucked until her got the edge of her pants. Grasping the sides, he looked up at her for permission.
Nodding her head, “Please...”
Paul pulled her jeans and panties off and threw them with the rest of their discarded clothing. He took in the naked form of his imprint, his love, his life. He reverently placed a kiss to her belly, “You’re so beautiful, Iz.” Trailing his lips down further, he kissed the top of her mound before running a finger through her wet folds. “So wet for me, baby.”
Running his nose along her slit, he inhaled deeply, taking in the pure essence of her. Poking out his tongue, he licked her from bottom to top, before sucking her engorged clit into his mouth.
Bella arched off the bed as pleasure shot through her. Her hands went to his head, holding him in place as Paul licked and sucked her sweet nectar. While his tongue was busy with her clit, he gently pressed a finger inside her, feeling her walls pulsing around his digit. When he felt another gush of arousal, he pushed in a second finger, stretching her and preparing her for him.
“Oh, god, Paul...I’m so close.” Bella moaned.
“Come for me, Iz.” Paul gently bit down on her clit while curling his fingers.
Bella arched off the bed as her orgasm lit bright white lights behind her eyes, causing her to scream. “Paul!”
Paul continued moving his fingers as she came down from her high. Wiping his face, he pulled his shorts off and moved up the bed, covering her one more time. Pressing his lips to hers, he lined himself up with her entrance and slowly began pushing inside her. Breaking away from her, he stared into her eyes.
“I’m sorry, baby.” With one hard push, he broke her barrier and was fully seated within her. Her cry of pain was like needles straight to his heart and he kissed away the tears which rolled down her face.
The pain only lasted for a minute and Bella looked up at the man above her, love and desire shining in his eyes. She experimentally moved her hips, giving him the signal that she was okay.
Paul pulled out and pushed back in slowly, letting her get used to the sensation. Bella wrapped her legs around his hips and met his thrusts with her own. Soon they found themselves a slow rhythm, one which was building the pleasure up and had Bella begging for more.
“More, Paul. Harder.”
He grunted as he increased his pace, nearly slamming his hips against her. The only sounds in the room were their mutual moans and sighs and the slapping of flesh. Paul could feel his impending orgasm and wanted Bella to come with him. Reaching between them, he rubbed and pinched at her nub, causing her to cry out.
“Come on, Iz. Come with me, baby.” Paul panted as he pistoned his hips, racing toward the finish line.
“Oh, god, Paul...I’m coming!” Bella shouted as her walls tightened around him.
“Fuck!” Her walls clenching tightly around him brought forth his own release as she milked him for all he was worth. When the spasms stopped, he collapsed on her.
Rolling off her, he slipped from her causing her to whine at the loss. Their bodies were slick with sweat as the lay wrapped together.
“I love you, Paul.”
Paul kissed her head and brought his hand down to her chin, lifting her face to his. Placing a gentle kiss to her lips, “I love you, too.”
As the pair was drifting off, cuddled in their post coital bliss, a howl ripped through the night, shattering the bubble they were in.