Chapter 29: Explanations
Everyone found a seat around the room as Char continued to tend to me, paying no attention to anyone else. Jasper was the only one she spoke to. “Jasper, how bad is it this time? Any worse?”
Jasper nodded sadly, explaining, “She held her shield up a lot longer than this morning, plus she used her powers for longer. She'll need to meditate for a longer period, then you'll have to do a lot longer of a yoga session with her. We need to get her Ipod. She'll need the energy, if she's to speak to everyone.”
He looked down at me, then whispered softly into my hair, “Do you want them to leave while you rejuvenate, or do you want them to get to know the process in case you need their help at some point?”
The most I could do was croak, “Stay.”
He looked to all who were in the room, stating, “She'll explain everything you're seeing when she can, but right now it's best if you just settle in to watch. The quieter the room, the better for her. Esme whispered softly, “Jasper can we feel what she's going through so we have a better idea?”
The others nodded, so Jasper asked my permission. I barely managed a nod, then I heard several gasps.
“If it's too much...” I croaked, but they all said they would rather feel it so they could help in the future.
Peter returned with the cooler, but he also had my Ipod. He sat on the other arm of the chair as he poured the first dose of liqueur. Mine. He helped me drink it, then Jasper's and his. Before he could pour Char's, I whispered hoarsely, “I need all of Char's. I think I over did the rain... it's pouring outside.”
He helped me drink it straight from the bottle until the last drop was gone. The rain stopped, then I nuzzled into Char's neck for a few minutes, just breathing deeply to inhale as much of her scent as possible.
I felt a little better, so I said in a soft whisper to Peter, “A thermos of coconut milk, the coconut fruit, mangos, apples, raspberries, peaches, a banana, 3 big plain dark chocolate bars, the mixed nuts, caviar, at least one full bowl of salmon tartare... and if we have any really exotic fruit, throw some in, please.”
Peter was lifting bowl after bowl of fruit out of the cooler. It probably looked like he was feeding an army. Yeah, an army of me.
He pulled the coffee table to where he could get to it from the chair arm, then asked me which one first. “The coconut fruit, mangoes, and exotic fruit mixed.”
He asked for a larger bowl, then in a flash, Esme silently handed it and a fork to him before sitting back down next to Carlisle. Peter dumped the fruit in and mixed it up.
He sat on the arm, slowly feeding me bite after bite of delicious fruit until the bowl was empty. It helped minimally, but I needed way more food. Before he could ask, I asked for him to mix the caviar into the salmon tartare. He did, then fed me all of that.
When that was done I ate the banana, asking for him to break me off pieces of one of the chocolate bars. He did. I felt a little better than before. I asked for the last of the fruit to be mixed, then I ate every bite of it, another chocolate bar, plus a full can of mixed nuts. I was getting more energy now by the minute. I had drank little bits of the coconut milk throughout, but there was still half of the thermos left. He gave me a few more sips before I was shakily able to sit up. He fed me the last chocolate bar plus the last of the milk. I was finally full.
“Jasper, Honey? Can you please load my Evanescence playlist? I can't walk yet. I really need the energy. The nuts just aren't cutting it right now.”
He nodded, asking if there was anything else that he could add. I shook my head no, so he hit play. My voice was still weak and soft when I started to sing, but by the time I got through Lacrymosa, Give Unto Me, and Imaginary, my voice was strong and beautiful again.
They all stared at me in awe-struck silence. Then I sang Lithium, Lose Control, and My Immortal. I was starting to feel the effects taking hold, so I finished the songs out with Sweet Sacrifice, Tourniquet, and Taking Over Me. By then I knew I wasn't to par still, so I had him load Plumb. I sang through Here With Me, Damaged, and Better. The final song by them was Cut.
After that I felt up to par, but my muscles ached. I nuzzled into Char, kissing her neck as I breathed her in. “It's time, Baby. We need to do more than earlier. A lot more. You up for it?”
She laughed softly. “Show me whatcha got, Sweetness. I'll put you through the ringer if Jasper doesn't stop me. They'll keep an eye out, though.”
I kissed her softly before getting up off of her. I held my hand out to her as I asked Peter to make sure there was enough room on the floor. He asked for the couches to be moved back. They immediately did without question.
I had Jasper pull my Ipod from the stereo, then I turned to everyone in the room, “I can't explain yet, but please stay quiet no matter how tough you think Char is on me. Jasper watches my emotional well being for pain of any sort, while Peter watches my physical form for any problems as far as cramps or too much tension on my muscles. I am well cared for, and they won't let me hurt myself. Char won't put me in a position I haven't been in successfully before.”
They nodded but stayed silent, so I thanked them.
I told Char to list the positions as she put me through them, so that the others would know if the need arose. We went through the warm up, then she smiled wryly at me. I was feeling more energized, so I smirked, “Bring it, Sexy. Stop going easy on me.”
Everyone laughed, then she started my advanced routine. By the third round, she had slowed down. I was holding the positions longer each round we went through. I felt incredible, laughing as Char asked if I had enough. “Are you kidding? I bet you could put me through some of those crazy vamp moves you made up at this point. I feel fucking awesome right now.”
Her eyes widened, then she said, “I think you've had enough for today, but I'll make you a deal. If we can get up to 20 minutes per pose, then we'll teach you my moves. Deal?”
I pouted as I slipped into my goddess pose. “You're no fun, Char. Just when I was getting in the groove, you slap a 'go to jail' sign to me. Do not pass go, do not collect the damn two hundred dollars.”
Then I mumbled lowly, “Maybe if I withhold sex she'd give in.”
All three of my mates laughed hard, but I heard Peter say, “Nut-uh, Kitten. No can do. Not gonna work, and ya know better. Now hop your ass to the shower, and I'll have Char bring ya some clothes to change into.”
I pouted as I walked up the stairs to the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I turned the water on, then while I waited for it to heat, I stripped down and took care of necessities. I got in the shower, leaned against the wall, and closed my eyes to let the water wash over me.
I felt my Char coming in behind me, so I leaned back into her. “Sorry I took so long. I couldn't decide which gel to bring. I brought the one you used earlier.” She was whispering into my neck.
I moaned, reaching my arms behind me to her hips, pulling her into my back. She hugged herself to me, then slowly kneaded my stomach. I knew that the yoga had gotten my blood flowing, but now wasn't the time for it. We had to explain everything to the people downstairs. I turned in her arms to breath into her ear, “We can't right now, but as soon as we get to the cabin, you can lick me all you want. I promise.”
She nodded as I kissed her neck, then she helped me wash, as I did her in return.
We got out and dried. While she was dressing, she told me she would wait with the others. I took care of necessities, then dressed in the nude lace thong and white crochet/gauze halter tie dress she brought me. I was wondering how my nipples wouldn't show through, but before I could call her, I saw the really thin flower nipple covers. They were the shade of my skin. When they were in place, you couldn't tell where I stopped or they began.
I finished dressing, then carried the white and silver ballet tie heels down the stairs. As I entered the room, I laid the shoes next to the empty chair from earlier. The room was extremely quiet. No one moved, so I kissed each of my mates, then sat in the chair. Peter and Jasper took post on either side as Char took it upon herself to sit by my feet, putting my shoes on for me.
I gathered my thoughts while she did, then stood back up when she was done. I smiled at the three of them, then addressed the two covens. “First off, thank you for your patience with me so far. It has been a trying few days. I’m not completely recovered yet, but I am much better and able to speak with you now. I'm sure you have all noticed the elements on my spine. I started as earth. A single element. The first time Jasper and I were together, his element appeared on my spine 30 minutes after. Air. The same happened with Peter and Char. They were not complete, though. There was no scroll design or names at the time. I will turn so that you can take as close a look as you would like while I finish telling this part, but please, please, do not touch any part of the design.”
They all nodded, so I turned. Eleazar was the first to come closer. He studied the design closely, muttered 'exquisite', then retreated. One by one, they all did the same thing as I continued. “When I am in my sleep state, I can only meditate. I don't truly sleep any longer. I found my inner goddess poised in the lotus position one day, when I was playing with Peter and Jasper, acting innocent on something when they both knew I wasn't. My inner goddess was proud of me. That was before I became what you see before you. My goddess nature is complete, but my design isn't finished yet. Char's name will appear the next time I go into my sleep state. You are all welcome to witness it if you choose to, but it is not mandatory. The scroll work around the elements came first, then one by one, their names appeared next to the respective elements. It's not something easily described... you kind of have to see it to believe it.”
I saw several soft smiles as I continued. “After Char's name appears and the design is complete, my mates and I need to meet with the La Push wolves. I am in their legends, but they don't know it's me their legends speak of. They know of the Goddess Elemental, but not that the girl they knew since birth is the goddess. Only a true goddess can wield all four elements successfully, so my body has gone through the transformations it's needed to, in order to allow me to wield them. I did not ask for this... it is my life now, though, and I'll make the best damn goddess you've ever heard of.”
I walked back to my mates, then sat in the chair. Charlotte snuggled against my legs, caressing my ankles as I lifted my hands for each of the boys to hold. They did immediately. “You have heard me speak of these three as my mates. Each of us have bonded and claimed completely with every other member of the four. We didn't know it would happen this way, but when I felt the need for Peter's claiming, he did it. It forced me into a double love day, as you call them. Our bond had not matured enough to handle being forced into something like that, so...”
I got choked up, remembering what happened. My hands opened of their own accord. From them, a picture shot out into the opening in the room. It was what I saw before I repaired the damage. I choked back a sob, “This... was what my piece of Peter's soul looked like when it was thrust into the love day. This is the damage... it hurt so much, and I knew... I knew I had to fix it.”
I closed my hands, then opened them again. This time Peter's soul appeared magnificent, as it had after I healed it. I smiled brightly, catching my breath, “This is what it looked like after I healed it. My spine is very sensitive to their venom. Both of them had to trace my elements while I was inside myself trying to repair the damage. Between their venom in the coffee and tracing my spine, their venom helped me heal the fractures you saw.”
I closed my hands again. “I hadn't met Char yet at that point. It was mutually agreed that she and I wouldn't do a claiming until after I was turned, just to be safe.. to avoid the possibility of that happening again. Even though the words weren't spoken, the bond did happen already. She retreated into herself in worry for me. I had to find her in herself, then we both had to speak the words for the bond to be healthy. We did, and now the bond with all of my mates is strong. I was not forced into another love day after Char and I completed the bond.”
They all looked dumbstruck, but I continued, “I have episodes where my emotions get out of control or take over out of instinct. During an instinctive take over, I am in control, like when you saw earlier. I as the goddess felt a threat. I couldn't let it harm my loved ones. I have no control yet, so I was working on pure instinct. Just as now, when you saw Peter's soul piece. When I'm not in control and have an episode, it is imperative that the mate I need be there to help me. If my irises are green, Jasper needs to ground me. He's my center... my grounding post. Blue means Char needs to help me. She gets me to go with the flow, let the emotions flow through me like water in a river. Red is my passionate Peter. The heat and fire that builds in me emotionally gets released with Peter's passion. Silver... silver is Major Whitlock.”
I saw a round of wary looks, but continued. “If my irises are silver, things go downhill fast. You need to make sure Jasper is brought to me very quickly if they are silver. Major's control is needed when they are. He needs to take over, make the decisions for me. There's a tornado that brews inside me when things get chaotic and hectic. Nothing slows down for me to grasp a hold of. I need Major's control to help guide me through, to bring the storm under control. Please do not be alarmed if you see one of my episodes. There are sexual aspects to resolving them. Some of you may think Major is hurting me if you happen to see it. Don't, whatever you do, DO NOT stop him. I am fully aware of every moment I spend with him. He does not hurt me.”
I looked at all of them pointedly, then continued, “We try to resolve the episodes in private, but with so many people present, someone is bound to see or hear something. My eyes are the key to what I need. The main color is the main person, but there can be flecks of color, an outer ring of color, or both. The same color principle applies here. Green is Jasper, blue is Char, red is Peter, and silver is Major. I have had several different combinations. My last episode was huge. I needed all of them. Please take care to know which colors are present at all times. I need liqueurs daily until I'm turned. Twenty ounces once a day unless I have an episode. Then I get another full dose. More of them if needed. Usually I'll need more of mine and the main iris color. They are as follows. Mine is Chambord Raspberry, Jasper's is Leopold Bros. Peach, Peter's is Goldschlager Cinnamon, and Char's is Kalani Coconut. It has something to do with our scents and tastes, but beyond that, I have no clue. When repairing Peter's soul piece, I also needed an apple liqueur, too. It just depends.”
I took a breath, “I know you all have a shit-ton of questions, but please hold them. There is so much more to go over. The food you saw me eating, that is what I eat all the time. Very fresh fruits and fish, nuts, chocolate, as well as caviar. The red is not a good idea for you to be present for. It has an unintended side effect that only my mates should be near me for. The one I ate earlier is the normal one. The more exotic the fruit, the better, but I also need a lot of the staples. If some of you girls want to go shopping to the whole foods market with Char and I, I'm sure we could arrange that. If it's possible, I would like food to be kept both in the main house and the cabin. The four of us have settled in the cabin for privacy reasons. It was not to step on anyone's toes, so I'm sorry if that’s the case. With so many here and the four of us needing to stay in the same room, the cabin was the logical choice.”
No one said anything about the rooming situation, so I continued, “Now onto the big stuff. My goddess showed me visions of things happening in the present at the time. I learned a lot. I saw Sue Clearwater speaking to my dad. She told him of their legends and of vampires. My dad will be needed in all this to help us in some way. He had to know. He is okay with it, from what I've seen. You all know him. He will not reveal anything to anyone. He can be trusted. I also saw you, Eleazar. You were in a castle speaking to someone of me. That is how I knew you could be brought to me through Alice. I saw the wolves preparing for my arrival. I also saw Billy Black. He sensed my goddess presence and spoke to me, though he couldn't see me. I was able to give him the four signs of my coming, for him to tell the elders of the tribe to prepare. I saw two men in a field talking about how she -Victoria- could not be part of any decisions. They had to work spur of the moment, because they had to get around the seer. Alice they are deliberately messing with the blind spots of your vision. You can't get a lock on them because they only make split second movements on purpose. None of that is your vision failing. They killed a spy from our side that they outed. They burned his dismembered body there in the field.”
After looking around to everyone, I said, “They spoke of something that had to be done before the battle, but didn't say what. They also said that they would be ready to attack in two months time. That means we have only that amount of time to prepare and train to the fullest, to be ready for this battle. Their numbers are gaining, but so are the wolves. I don't know exact numbers, but there are at least 20 wolves at last vision. I was able to send Alice pictures and whisper things directly to her when I saw the conversation with Edward. I was able to have her get in touch with Eleazar. The final scene was very important. An Elder was speaking to a group of the wolves, telling them of my mark and to be on the lookout. No clothing can ever cover my elements. My goddess explained that if my elements were not always exposed to the elements, I would become very sick. All of my clothing must be backless. The elder said my mark would be immediately recognised, for it would be on display for the world to see. Other than Char's name on my design, my physical changes are complete. My powers will not be complete until after my turning, though.”
I looked around the room again as I continued to speak, letting them all know quite clearly that they would not be stopping me in any way. “I will not be a normal newborn, so please do not try to interfere with it when the time comes. Whether any of you like it or not, I will be turned. Trying to stop it is trying to stop fate. It won't happen. The wolves play a vital role in what is to come. You must try to be civil with them if we are to win this battle. For a fact, I know that if we don't work together to win this, all of Forks and La Push will perish in the destruction. I will need all of the men to plan while the girls are food shopping. I can get caught up to date and make any changes needed when we return. My instincts are final word. If you can't handle that, I understand, but please leave now. I can't have anyone here that is not willing to do as they're told the instant it's said. This isn't about having all the power or wanting subjects to worship me. You know I hate attention. I always will. This is about keeping everyone alive and safe. My instincts have proven very reliable. When they happen, I won't have time to ask you or coddle you. It will be an immediate thing. I'll sound like a bitch ordering you around, but it could very well save your life, or the life of your mate or family. Does anyone want to leave now?”
They all shook their heads no, so I continued. “There is more to speak of, but I am wearing down and the sun is almost up. I need to eat, then meditate. Like I said, you are all welcome to view the process and familiarize yourself. I'll answer the questions I can while I eat.”
I walked over to the cooler after squeezing Peter and Jasper's hands, then kissing the top of Char's head. I pulled out 3 bags of chocolate, 4 bowls of fruit, plus a thermos of Almond milk. I sat it all on the coffee table, then asked for a spoon.
Instantly, Esme returned with one, so I smiled gratefully, “Thank you, Esme.”
I mixed all of the blueberries, grapes, watermelon, cantaloupe, honeydew, strawberries, and cherries together from the four bowls, then dumped two bags of chocolate into it. I stirred again, then sat down with the thermos tucked in next to me. “Let me get a few bites in, then you can start. One question at a time, please.”
I spooned fruit and chocolate with eat bite. Mmm, I was in heaven.
After a few minutes, I took a good drink of the almond milk, motioning for them to start. Esme quietly asked, “Do you only eat these foods? No others? If so, what is it about these specific foods.”
I smiled as I finished my bite. “It is these foods, because they are naturally found. The fresher the fruit, the closer I feel to my earth element. It also has something to do with the goddess in me. She likes sweet things. She craves them. I need the fish for the protein, and the chocolate has to be dark and excellent quality. The caviar was a little treat Jasper got, since we knew I could have fish. He thought we might try the caviar, to see how well I liked it. Let's just say he started with the red. We didn't exactly get to try the other for a while until everything was calmed down. The red makes me frisky. Even though it was fun, the red causes more of my energy to be used, so please do not buy it.”
They all laughed. “I can eat green vegetables sparingly, but my goddess frowns. She doesn't like them. The nuts help with my energy. They give me a good energy boost if I need it. Smoked salmon tartare or any type of salmon is my favorite, but halibut is good too, as far as fish. I have also found that other seafood is pleasing, and have not felt the need for any red meat since my transformation began. Next question?”
I ate a few more bites before Carmen spoke up, “Us in the Denali clan had not seen what you were like before the transformation, Diosa Pequeña. Would you mind elaborating for us?”
I looked to Jasper, who smiled. “Jazz, would you like to answer this? You have seen all the changes as they've happened.”
He nodded before addressing the group. “Her hair has grown from her middle back to her tailbone, having plentiful red and blond highlights. Before, she had no blonde, and very little red. Her features have smoothed out considerably, all of her muscles have toned, plus her balance is impeccable as you've seen today. She only just started Yoga less than 12 hours ago. She has had 2 sessions in that time, but you see how she can move and twist. Her chest has grown a full cup and then some. She went from a C to a DD. Her hips have widened 2 ¾ inches, plus she is 3 inches taller in height. All in all, it's like her character and stature have molded her into the perfect goddess. All of this has happened since the Cullens left.”
All of the Denali clan had wide eyes, knowing when the Forks house had been left. They were trying to add it all up in their heads.
Carlisle spoke next, while I had food in my mouth, “Do you mind explaining more about the episodes you spoke of? What does it feel like when you go through them?”
After swallowing the bite in my mouth, I said, “It's not easy to explain, but I'll try. When I'm out of control and need my Major, it's different than when I need my Char or my Peter. I have different names I recognise with each person, different feelings I associate with each one. With Major, I am at my base self. I'm stripped to the bare minimum inside, but everything that is stripped is swirling in the tornado inside me. I can't hold on to anything. He knows what to do to get me back. He and Peter both have related it to the base self of a vampire. Running on pure instinct, not recognising anything that you don't absolutely need to survive. The first time I was with Major, Jasper came through, and I flipped out... thinking Major abandoned me. Major made it clear he wouldn't leave, then he took care of me. Jasper knows he can't intrude on Major's time with me. It doesn't go well. I am Major's Isabella. No one else can call me that.”
They nodded, so I continued, “Jasper grounds me. When things aren't quite right, or I need tenderness and something firm to hold onto, Jasper is the one I need. I'm Jasper's Darlin'. Peter, like I said, is who I need when all the feelings of anger, passion, frustration, or need build up... need a way out. He is my fire, my heat, and my everything in those moments. I literally feel like I'm burning up inside when I'm with him in an episode, but it doesn't hurt. It feels really damn good. I'm Peter's Little One. My Char is my island oasis. When things aren't going according to plan and everything feels like it's going wrong or I need the different love she can provide, Char helps me let all of it flow out of me to center myself again. I'm able to only concentrate on her and how we feel together. Nothing else matters. With Char, it's just natural. I'm Char's Sweetness.”
With a soft smile from everyone, I said seriously, “I told you all the names, because there has been a time that I was able to tell what I needed by only saying that. Just the name. I can't speak well while in an episode, everything is broken by the feelings and powers overwhelming me. I gasp a lot... choke on my words. My powers flare during the episode, so things can happen... trees catching fire, earthquakes, icicles, my shield glowing different colors, lightning, rain, the wind blowing papers up off the desk in a tornado pattern, or wind rushing through the field and swirling the dust and leaves around.
I saw a few people nodding to themselves, then I continued. “A very important fact to remember is not to touch me or any of my mates while I'm in an episode. Even the most innocent touch between my mates is bad during an episode. I can only say that then, it feels like we are not all mates... they are only mine, not each others. My eyes flashed green... I made the whole room shake violently when Major kissed Char during my huge episode where I needed them all. I do not want to hurt any of you, so please remember not to touch any of us during something like that. Also, please do not call me those names yourself, but remember them in case I say them toward the start of an episode. I'm giving you a lot of personal information that has been kept just between me and my mates, so please respect it as such.”
I took another few bites of food as they processed all that I said. Rosalie slowly, cautiously asked, “What is it about your instincts? Where do you think they come from?”
I smiled, swallowing before offering, “That's a good question. One I recently learned the answer to myself. When I am in my sleep state, I am fully aware of everything going on around me... from the people talking and what their saying, to the elements themselves. A burning vehicle from an accident we passed on the way here, the rain gathering in the clouds as we got near Forks, the wind blowing through the trees or past the cars, the earth soaking up the sun, the leaves on the trees growing... everything around me I am aware of. It's like it all speaks to me without words. I get the same amount of rest in my new sleep state as I did before my transformation. When I am awake fully, I still feel the tug of all the elements.
I frowned, but tried not to let my emotions get the best of me as I said, “We were at a gas station when Laurant found us. His emotions were violent and nasty. He truly meant to kill my mates and drain me, then and there. He wasn't going to report back to Victoria. He wanted to feed from me himself. I was in the bathroom with Char, and the guys were filling the Tahoe with gas... then all of the sudden, a warning alarm shrieked in my head. It was deafening. I knew there was danger, that I had to protect my mates and myself at all costs. I grabbed Char's hand and ran. I didn't stop to think. They were all behind me in the same position you first saw us in, under my shield. I couldn't let him live to try again.”
I shook my head sadly, my voice coming out softer as I continued, “I don't like that I had to end not just one life, but two. It hurts that I had to kill at all, but any one of you would do the same thing if your mate was threatened. I did what I had to, and wouldn't take it back if I had the chance. The instinct is just that. It's me being one with the goddess...with nature... automatically knowing what has to be done. It's not always pretty, but it keeps the ones I care about safe. Does that make sense?”
Rosalie nodded, “I will not be one to go against any of your instincts, that's for sure.”
I took a few more bites with a large sip of milk, then Edward spoke. He didn't look up from his hands while speaking softly, “How is it that you can bond with and claim more than one mate? We were always led to believe that one was all we got in this life. That is why we treasure them so.”
I spoke to my three mates, “Please stand to show them your marks. They need to see to understand fully.”
Then I directed my attention back to the group, “For my goddess and elemental sides to be complete in themselves as well as each other, I had to have the other three elements. I was born with earth. It is not ink. I was born with it. My three mates were also born with theirs. Alice said she knew we would be together, but she didn't know that I would also need to be with Char or Peter. She couldn't get that, because my shield was in full force by then.”
I could have stopped there, but decided to explain further. “Making love to Jasper started the process of my transformation, I needed Peter soon after. He had to come to Forks to bring me out of an episode. That was the night we met. Thank Goddess he got the feeling I would need him and was already close to my old house when the episode got going. Everything was supposed to be on a longer, spread out time table, but I believe with Seattle happening so quickly, the time table got rushed ahead of what anyone expected. To answer your question, I was meant to have three mates to complete my design, my goddess, my elemental powers, and truly, myself. It is fate's plan for me to have this many. I treasure each of them as much as you treasure Alice, Edward. I know she is your true mate. I can see it plainly. Take care of her and she will live to love you every day.”
He looked up at me with a small smile, “Thank you.”
I finished my food before anyone else spoke. Emmett spoke after I swallowed my last bite. “You said your back had to be open to the elements... but what about when it's cold out? What will happen?”
I laughed in response, “That's the same thing I asked my inner goddess while she explained it to me. As long as my elements are uncovered, no matter what the weather, I will be strong and healthy. In even extreme cold, I will not feel cold, nor will I get sick. In extreme heat, I will not sweat or feel hot. I must not let clothing cover my design, though. The very thin criss-cross lacing on my back on the way here was fine. Tied loosely, every inch of my back was exposed, and the lacing was loose enough that when I moved, it did too. All of my elements could get the openness they needed, so I felt no ill effects.”
He smiled. No one spoke for a minute, then I looked out at the front yard. Time was running short. I had the feeling that I needed to hurry up and start my sleep state. “If everyone wouldn't mind, I really need to meditate. The sun will be up soon, then it will be time to meet the wolves not long after. My design must be complete before I meet them. Jasper, Peter and Char can answer more of your questions after I am under. Please hold them until one of them speaks first. Anyone not wanting to witness, can leave quietly at any point. Thank you all for being so patient.”
I got up, took Jasper's hand, then he sat in the chair I just vacated. I lifted my skirt enough to straddle his lap, then placed my head in the crook of his neck with my hands on his chest. I breathed him in a few times, then whispered, “I'm ready, Cowboy.” Then I kissed the soft spot behind his ear.
He began tracing my elements, while Peter and Char both sat on the floor facing us. Both of them had a hand on my hip and the other hand entwined in each others. I felt the peace, love and lethargy blanket me. I was out light a light.
I got so many conflicting emotions coming from everyone. I almost didn't want to speak. She was meditating now. I could feel the difference in her, while the others were begging in their emotions for me to speak. When I did, it was in a soft voice, as to not disturb Bella. “We will answer questions, but speak softly, and don't make sudden movements. She will be fully aware of anything said, so if you have something negative to say, beware. Her powers are just as strong right now, and she won't hesitate to hand you your asses.”
Alice spoke in a whisper, “How bad was it, really? Us leaving like we did.”
I scowled, “She hasn't talked much about it, but you, Emmett, and Edward hurt her the worst. When I found her on the forest floor, she was crying, saying, 'He left, they left,' over and over. She was bleeding profusely from her arm, because the stitches that Carlisle had put in ripped out. You, Edward, are a pussy. I don't care what anyone says, you should not have left her unattended on the floor of the fucking woods, bleeding and crying for the family.”
I took a breath, then Bella spoke, “It's alright Jazz... Don't be... upset. I love you.”
I heard everyone gasp. I looked up, offering, “I know it takes getting used to, but she really is aware of everything. She was hurt by you all, so it's going to take a lot of time and patience to get her to warm up to you again. She felt betrayed, abandoned by every member. I had to use my venom to seal her wounds so that she didn't bleed out. When she woke from the first set of nightmares, I tried to calm her, but she clung to me, begging me not to leave. I promised her I'd stay. When she woke up again, I was in the bathroom getting her a wet rag. She'd been sweating in her nightmares, so I thought a cool rag would help ease her. She went into a full panic attack when she didn't see me first thing. I felt her panic and pure fear, then rushed to reassure her that all was fine. She leapt at me, wrapping her tiny little self around me with all her strength... like if she could hold tight enough, I wouldn't disappear. We got everything talked about, and she knew... wait. Edward have you told them the truth?”
He bowed his head in shame, saying, “They were told on the way here. I'm sorry I had to do that, Jasper. I would like to talk to you privately at some point, but I know now is not the time.”
I nodded curtly, “Back to the story, she knew that I wasn't going after her before I said anything. She said she heard you growl before she even finished cutting her finger. I didn't look up until after you growled, so she knew. She knew I was going after you, to keep her safe from you. We talked a lot, then she confessed she had loved me since Phoenix. (more gasps) I had loved her just as long. We both confessed our feelings fully. We made love, which ultimately started her transformation. I had come back here to shower and change. When I returned to her, she was getting dressed. I saw my element on her back, but didn't know what to think. It was one of the most beautiful things I'd seen.”
I kissed her shoulder, waiting for the next question. Esme spoke next. “Do her episodes happen often? Is there anything we can do to help lessen them?”
Esme was always trying to help. Her emotions just read of the love she had for Bella, along with how much she wanted to help.
“Thank you, Esme. I know you want to help. Bella needs as calm an environment as we can provide for her during this mess. The more she knows what to expect from each of you, the easier it will be. Mood swings and negativity harm, not help. Play around with her, do fun things, try to always keep her in sight of her mates. The longer she is not able to see us, the worse she is. When you shop for food, expect her to call several times. Since Peter and myself will be planning here, she'll be on edge until she sees us again. It's not about us wanting to keep her under our thumbs... it's solely about her instincts and comfort level.”
I saw everyone nod their head a bit, so I continued, “She's been having the episodes at least once a day, but with her elemental goddess showing itself twice in less than 24 hours, she didn't have an episode yesterday during the drive or after we got here. The yoga is a very good thing for her. You all felt how tired she was beforehand, as well as how much better she felt afterward. She will not want to do it alone, so if one of you are with her when she feels the need, please find one of us, or Char would be happy to teach any of you. I can make a list to give to Char for a few things we'll need, so Bella doesn't forget them. There is so much on her mind at all times, that her emotions are constantly cycling.”
Eleazar looked thoughtful for a moment before he asked, “What will the wolves be doing in all of this? What exactly is their role?”
Peter took this one, “They'll be helpin' her train her powers so she's able to better control and use them when needed. They'll also be teachin' her a different way of fightin' than the Major and I will. She's gotta learn to fight with and without her powers if she's to succeed. The wolves will be protectors of her -and most likely her mates- fightin’ alongside us in the battle. It's paramount that we get along with them. She'll need their support as much as ours in the comin' months. We'll have to fill Tanya and Kate in on everythin' once they return. I don't know if they were in listenin' distance when the question and answer session happened. We don't want them to get hurt for not knowin' what to do or what not to do.”
Eleazar and Carlisle agreed, then Peter said, “There's more than just Seattle to worry about. Alice, ya know what I'm sayin'. So does Eleazar. We have the Volturi and Maria to keep an eye on. Apparently, Aro wants to use the elemental goddess as the ultimate power source and a play thing. He wants her as a pet. Maria is a different story, more dangerous as far as I'm concerned. She is not above usin' anyone in this room, the wolves, or Charlie to get what she wants. She wants the four of us for her army. She would have the most powerful army if she got us, but she wouldn't bat an eye at hurtin' or killin' any of us to get to Bella alone. Her inner goddess confirmed all of this, so we all must be on guard and listen to Bella when she says to do somethin'. My talent of knowing things... the feelin's I get, have all matched perfectly with her instincts. She's the real deal, and won't put ya in unnecessary danger.”
Just then, Bella whispered, “My beautiful Char,” before we all looked toward her. There on Bella's spine, Char's name was making it's appearance. Quiet murmurs of 'amazing' and 'incredible' rang around the room. Everyone watched with rapt attention. When the last of Char's name was scrolled in, the whole room glowed with the rainbow of light that came from her elemental design. It was a beautiful sight, which caused everyone to gasp at the display.
When the glow faded and the design was complete, Bella whispered, “I love you, my island oasis.”
I felt the tug at Char's heart, hearing and seeing the love Bella had for her. Everyone sat quietly for a while after that, not knowing exactly what to say.
I finally whispered the one thing that kept running through my mind, “She is utterly exquisite, isn't she? Truly one of a kind.”
They all nodded, murmuring their agreement. “I wonder what she sees during her sleep state. I know she said she is aware of everything, but does she see it or does she just feel it?”
Bella must have heard Carmen's question, and was trying to answer. She didn't have enough of a connection to her yet to answer fully. Bella did speak, though, “See... future events... present things... feeling things around... aware. Not see around...”
I responded, “I'm taking that as she feels everything around her, but sees things she needs to know. Things in the present and the future.”
Bella said a little more clearly, “Yes, Jazz you're right. Need to see now. So much to see.”
I hushed her, “Shh, Darlin'. Rest. See all you need to. We have you. You're safe.”
Char traced her name gently with the hand not holding Bella's hip, causing Bella to sigh, “Yes. Better now... clearer. More.”
Peter added the tracing of his name, then Bella's mood lifted even more. “She's seeing what she needs to now. Keep going.”
I stopped tracing the whole design, moving my attention to just my and her name. She smiled, “All clear... so much power. So much loss. None on our side... all alive but some injured. Must work side by side with the wolves. Any deviation ends in destruction.”
She bolted upright. She must have seen something. She looked up at me in panic, “Oh, shit. Charlie. We must make sure he understands. He won't like the fact the you three are with me so intimately. He gets hurt, Jasper. We have to make him understand. I can't lose him now.”
I pulled her closer, tightening my arms around her as she sobbed. “Shh, Darlin'. It's okay. We'll make sure he understands. We'll explain it like we did here. We'll make him understand. Shhh.”
Carlisle and Eleazar spoke at the same time, “We will do anything you need us to do.”
“Just let us know what we can do to help.”