Intrigue
by Laura Spudzmom
“We need to talk.”
She walked out of the bathroom, her face pale, her emotions sad but determined, and for a moment, his heart sank.
His greatest fear of late—that she would remember and hate him—seemed to be coming to fruition and he wasn’t prepared for it; wasn’t prepared to lose her.
Not now that he cared so much.
“All right,” he quietly agreed as she took a seat on the other end of the couch.
“Right around my eighteenth birthday, something happened—or so I’ve been told.” Her gaze darted to him and down again. “You see, I…can’t exactly remember.”
“Okay,” he prompted when she stalled.
She grabbed a tissue from the box and twisted it in her fingers, her eyes glazing as she stared into the middle-distance. “I remember waking up in the hospital. I guess I had been lost in the woods by Charlie’s house and when they found me, I was catatonic. I stayed that way for a couple of days before waking and when I did wake…” She shook her head and glanced at him. “Long story short—I had blocked out a huge portion of my recent past. I didn’t even remember deciding to move to Forks, although I’m told it was my choice.”
He frowned even though he’d already figured that much out. “What do you remember?”
She smiled sadly. “I remember living with my Mom and Phil in Arizona. I recall feeling guilty because my Mom had to stay with me rather than travel with Phil.” She looked up at him. “He’s a baseball player. He was in the minors then, but he’s since made the Majors.” She gestured around the tiny studio apartment. “He pays for this, since I…with the meds I take and the problems I have, I’m not exactly fit to work—or so the doctors say,” she said with bitterness coloring her tone.
He held out a hand and she shook her head. “No, let me get this out first.”
“All right,” he murmured, dropping his hand. “So, you remember nothing?”
“No…that is, until just now—that song. I don’t know why that song hit me like it did, but I got this flash of what I think is a memory.”
He tensed. “What was it?”
“Eyes,” she said, her voice trance-like. “They were the strangest shade of gold…and sad,” she said, looking over at him. “They were filled with sadness, before going cold. And I heard my voice.”
“What did you say?”
She met his gaze. “I said ‘You don’t want me?’” Her gaze dropped to her lap. “But that’s not the worst part of it.”
“What’s the worst part?” he asked, though he dreaded the answer.
“The worst part is what I recall feeling when I spoke those words.” She met his gaze again as a tear rolled down her cheek. “I wanted to die, Jasper. I know it like I know my own name. In that moment, I just wanted to die.”
She crawled over to him and he gathered her into his arms, rocking her as she cried.
“Promise me something, Jasper?”
“If it’s in my power, I will.”
She clutched his shirt and whispered, “Don’t break my heart. I don’t think I’d survive it.”
“If you trust me with it, sugar, then you have my promise.”
“I… trust you,” she answered.
His heart soared.
And he hoped with everything in him, she wouldn’t hate him when—if—she finally remembered.
She walked out of the bathroom, her face pale, her emotions sad but determined, and for a moment, his heart sank.
His greatest fear of late—that she would remember and hate him—seemed to be coming to fruition and he wasn’t prepared for it; wasn’t prepared to lose her.
Not now that he cared so much.
“All right,” he quietly agreed as she took a seat on the other end of the couch.
“Right around my eighteenth birthday, something happened—or so I’ve been told.” Her gaze darted to him and down again. “You see, I…can’t exactly remember.”
“Okay,” he prompted when she stalled.
She grabbed a tissue from the box and twisted it in her fingers, her eyes glazing as she stared into the middle-distance. “I remember waking up in the hospital. I guess I had been lost in the woods by Charlie’s house and when they found me, I was catatonic. I stayed that way for a couple of days before waking and when I did wake…” She shook her head and glanced at him. “Long story short—I had blocked out a huge portion of my recent past. I didn’t even remember deciding to move to Forks, although I’m told it was my choice.”
He frowned even though he’d already figured that much out. “What do you remember?”
She smiled sadly. “I remember living with my Mom and Phil in Arizona. I recall feeling guilty because my Mom had to stay with me rather than travel with Phil.” She looked up at him. “He’s a baseball player. He was in the minors then, but he’s since made the Majors.” She gestured around the tiny studio apartment. “He pays for this, since I…with the meds I take and the problems I have, I’m not exactly fit to work—or so the doctors say,” she said with bitterness coloring her tone.
He held out a hand and she shook her head. “No, let me get this out first.”
“All right,” he murmured, dropping his hand. “So, you remember nothing?”
“No…that is, until just now—that song. I don’t know why that song hit me like it did, but I got this flash of what I think is a memory.”
He tensed. “What was it?”
“Eyes,” she said, her voice trance-like. “They were the strangest shade of gold…and sad,” she said, looking over at him. “They were filled with sadness, before going cold. And I heard my voice.”
“What did you say?”
She met his gaze. “I said ‘You don’t want me?’” Her gaze dropped to her lap. “But that’s not the worst part of it.”
“What’s the worst part?” he asked, though he dreaded the answer.
“The worst part is what I recall feeling when I spoke those words.” She met his gaze again as a tear rolled down her cheek. “I wanted to die, Jasper. I know it like I know my own name. In that moment, I just wanted to die.”
She crawled over to him and he gathered her into his arms, rocking her as she cried.
“Promise me something, Jasper?”
“If it’s in my power, I will.”
She clutched his shirt and whispered, “Don’t break my heart. I don’t think I’d survive it.”
“If you trust me with it, sugar, then you have my promise.”
“I… trust you,” she answered.
His heart soared.
And he hoped with everything in him, she wouldn’t hate him when—if—she finally remembered.
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