Letters To A Stranger
by Momma2fan
***TRIGGER WARNING. MENTIONS OF MISCARRIAGE AND DEPRESSION. IF THIS IS A TRIGGER FOR YOU, PLEASE SKIP THIS CHAPTER.***
Chapter 9
Bella threw herself back into her classes, anything to make the time pass quicker without Edward. They spoke on the phone, Skyped, emailed and texted, anything to keep up some sort of contact. The weeks and months passed in a blur, until it was the last week of school. She spent the weekend preparing her final for her five classes. Each one was slightly different from the others so questions couldn’t be shared. When she was confident everything was ready she set her stuff by the door and turned in.
When she arrived at school the next morning there was a buzz that wasn't attributed to finals. Her first class was fine and the second only had a couple of potential cheaters. By the third her legs were tired from walking up and down the rows. When the ground began to tremble, she was halfway down the path by the windows.
"Everyone under your desks, get away from the windows." She shouted to her students.
She was ushering students away as the trembling grew. This wasn’t her first earthquake, but it was the first one she’d experienced while at school. She glanced around making sure all her students were protected and didn't see the bookshelf detaching from the wall and tumbling over. She turned at the last minute, just as the shelf fell on top of her, knocking her unconscious.
~~LTaS~~
Emmett moved to the open doorway to escape falling debris as the ground shook. He grabbed a lady who was weaving by trying to find shelter and held her in place, hoping Rosalie was somewhere safe.
Rosalie and Alice were in the middle of the mall when it started. They quickly got into an open doorway but the second floor was anything but safe. They prayed it would stop soon.
Jasper stood in the doorway to the kitchen, praying for his sister and fiancé, hoping they were safe.
~~LTaS~~
When the rumbling stopped, people came out and started surveying the damage. At the high school, students in Bella's English class quickly ran to help their teacher. As the boys lifted the shelf off of her another teacher came in to check and make sure all was okay. Seeing Bella on the floor with cuts on her arms and face from the glass shards, spurred him into action. He quickly ordered students to the office to call for an ambulance. He had the rest of the students go out in the hall and wait.
Due to the emergent situations as a result of the quake, it was almost an hour before the ambulance could get to the school and in that time Bella had not regained consciousness. They quickly strapped her to a board and headed off to the hospital. James, the teacher who had helped her, found her personnel file and called her brother.
"Hello?" Jasper answered not recognizing the number.
"Is this Jasper Swan?"
"Yes. Who is this?"
"My name is James Sweeney, I teach with your sister at the high school. I thought you should know Bella is on her way to the hospital. She was injured in the quake."
"What happened?"
"I'm not sure, it looked like a bookshelf fell on her. She has some cuts as well. She hasn't regained consciousness since the quake stopped."
Jasper grabbed his car keys and thanked James for the call. He was out the door as he hung up the phone, making his way to the hospital. He called Emmett on his way there.
"Cullen." Emmett snapped.
"Hey, Em, it’s Jasper. Listen, I need you to go to the mall and get Alice. She was there with Rosalie. Bella is in the hospital, I’m on my way there now."
"You got it. We'll meet you at the hospital." They hung up and Jasper kept driving.
When he finally made it there, Bella was in her own room. She had regained consciousness while en route to the hospital. She smiled when her brother walked in. She was just waiting for the doctor to come in and tell her the prognosis.
"Hey."
"Hey, how are you feeling?" Jasper asked as he sat beside her.
"I hurt everywhere. My back and head hurt the most." Before Jasper could respond, the doctor walked in.
"Miss Swan?" The doctor continued at her nod. "Well, you have a slight concussion, several superficial lacerations and your wrist is fractured. Unfortunately, we were unable to save your baby, but all signs say you will be able to conceive again. You should make an appointment with your OB/GYN as soon as possible. Any questions?" The doctor asked in a detached tone.
Bella had paled when he had said 'baby'. "I'm sorry, did you say I had a miscarriage?" The doctor nodded. "That's not possible, I wasn't pregnant."
The doctor looked down at her chart and looked back up at her. "You are Isabella Swan, correct?" At her nod, he finished. "Then this is correct. According to your chart you were about ten weeks. Again, I'm sorry. If you have any questions don't hesitate to call the nurse. Someone will be in shortly with your discharge papers."
After he had left, Bella looked at her brother and began sobbing. Her hand instinctively went to her abdomen. "How could I not have known? I had a life in me for ten weeks. Oh, God! What am I going to tell Edward?"
Jasper pulled his sister into his arms and held her as she cried for the baby she would never know. He was still holding her when Emmett and the girls walked in. Alice looked at Jasper and gave him a questioning look. He just shook his head at her and mouthed 'later'.
Bella's sobs finally quieted and she leaned back on the bed. She looked at her brother, "I need to tell Edward."
Emmett spoke up, "I'm sorry, Bells, they’ve gone black. I just heard on the way here."
"Bella, I don't think this is something he would want to hear over the phone. I think you should wait."
"How long, Jazz?" Bella snapped. "Until he’s stateside? There’s never going to be a good time to tell him this. He needs to know."
Rose spoke up. "What does he need to know?"
Bella looked at her friend as fresh tears rolled down her cheeks. "The doctor had just come in to tell me my diagnosis, and told me they couldn’t save my baby. I didn’t even know I was pregnant."
Alice's hand flew to her mouth and tears formed in her eyes. "How far along were you?"
"Ten weeks."
No other words were said as the nurse came in. "Isabella?" They nodded. “Okay, honey, I just need you to sign here and you can go home. The doctor wants you to stay in bed for the next few days and to take one of these as needed for pain. Now, you might have some mild cramping and some bleeding from the loss, but if you start soaking through your pads please come back in. Any questions?"
Bella shook her head woodenly as she signed all her papers and took her prescription. Jasper walked her down the hall and out to his car. Once she was settled, Jasper rounded the car and they headed back to her house. Emmett and the girls stopped off at the pharmacy and had her prescription filled. When they got to the house, Bella was settled in bed and Jasper was pacing the living room. Alice took Bella a glass of water and one of her pills, which she took and rolled onto her side. Alice rejoined everyone in the living room.
"I don't think she needs to be alone right now. She’s taking this pretty hard. Not that she shouldn't be. I also think we need to try and get in touch with Edward. Would it be possible at all?"
"Not right now. I can try and get a telegram to him, but that isn't a guarantee. I think we should just wait until the blackout is over. I'll call my mom, maybe she can come down and stay. We don't have to tell her why, just that Bella needs some help." Emmett suggested.
Everyone agreed it was the best option since they all had jobs. Jasper would be starting his new post soon, so Esme was the best choice. Emmett made the call and Esme agreed to come down the next day and stay as long as Bella needed her.
~~LTaS~~
Edward hated not being able to speak to Bella. He had heard about the earthquake and fervently hoped everyone was okay, Bella most of all. He couldn't wait to hear her voice.
Bella stayed in bed for the rest of the week. Esme came and they talked and she wept when Bella told her about the baby. The school had gotten a sub for her last few days and had sent flowers hoping for a speedy recovery.
Little did they know. Since the quake and her subsequent loss, Bella didn't think she could go back to teaching, but she wasn’t thinking clearly. Her grief was doing the thinking for her.
After she had been in bed for a few days, she knew she had to get up and pretend to live even though her heart was broken. She couldn't help but wonder if Edward would blame her. She hadn't known. She had no symptoms and still had her period. At least that's what she had thought.
The Monday after she was released from the hospital, Esme drove her to her OB's office. They did a routine pelvic to make sure all was as it should be and her body was healing from the miscarriage. They confirmed what the hospital had told her, she could have other babies. When she was done at the doctor, she noticed that she had missed a text. It was from Edward.
Blackout over. Call me. I love you. ~E
Bella felt her heart constrict. She had barely eaten and hadn't spoken to anyone but Esme in days. She was dreading the conversation she knew she needed to have.
"Esme, how do I tell him? Is he gonna hate me?" Bella cried. She had done nothing but cry for days and the evidence shown on her face.
"He’s not going to hate you. Edward loves you, Bella. This wasn't your fault. It was an act of nature, nothing more," Esme calmed her.
Bella sent a text back. Need to talk. Call on Skype. Love you, too.
Once they arrived at her house, Bella walked into her room and closed the door. She turned on her laptop just as Edwards' call came through. She hit the button to answer and there on the screen was the love of her life.
"Hey."
"Bella what's wrong, baby? You have me worried."
"I have to tell you something and it's really hard. I'm worried how you’re gonna take it, because I’m not handling it very well."
"Whatever it is, I love you, you can tell me anything. What's wrong? You're starting to scare me," Edward's face was twisted with worry.
Bella looked at him as silent tears began to roll down her cheeks. "You know about the quake right?" Edward nodded. "Well, I was knocked unconscious when a bookshelf fell on me. I was taken to the hospital and told I had a concussion and a fractured wrist. I was also told I was ten weeks pregnant." Bella paused to catch her breath.
"Bella...what?" Edward started.
Bella held up a hand to stop him. "I lost the baby, Edward. The trauma was too much for us and I had a miscarriage. I'm so sorry, I lost our baby. Please, don't hate me..." she stopped when her sobs were too much.
"Bella, baby, look at me," he waited until she raised her head. "I don't hate you. These things happen. For whatever reason, God decided that He needed the baby more than we did. I could never hate you, Sweetheart. Remember, you are my life now. I wish I was there to hold you and take away the pain, but I'm not. Just try and remember what my arms felt like around you. Is there anyone there with you?"
"Your mom is staying with me."
"Good. Listen, I have to go, Captain is calling me. I love you, Bella, hold on to that."
"I love you, too." Bella said and he was gone. She turned off her laptop and went into her bathroom, turning on the shower and stripping down, allowing the hot spray to wash her tears away. She would never forget the baby that they had made and never knew. Just as she knew now that Edward would never hate her. She stayed in the shower until the water ran cold, before getting out, drying off and deciding to live again. She would never forget, but she would survive.
Across the ocean a man wept for his love and the baby they never knew.
Chapter 9
Bella threw herself back into her classes, anything to make the time pass quicker without Edward. They spoke on the phone, Skyped, emailed and texted, anything to keep up some sort of contact. The weeks and months passed in a blur, until it was the last week of school. She spent the weekend preparing her final for her five classes. Each one was slightly different from the others so questions couldn’t be shared. When she was confident everything was ready she set her stuff by the door and turned in.
When she arrived at school the next morning there was a buzz that wasn't attributed to finals. Her first class was fine and the second only had a couple of potential cheaters. By the third her legs were tired from walking up and down the rows. When the ground began to tremble, she was halfway down the path by the windows.
"Everyone under your desks, get away from the windows." She shouted to her students.
She was ushering students away as the trembling grew. This wasn’t her first earthquake, but it was the first one she’d experienced while at school. She glanced around making sure all her students were protected and didn't see the bookshelf detaching from the wall and tumbling over. She turned at the last minute, just as the shelf fell on top of her, knocking her unconscious.
~~LTaS~~
Emmett moved to the open doorway to escape falling debris as the ground shook. He grabbed a lady who was weaving by trying to find shelter and held her in place, hoping Rosalie was somewhere safe.
Rosalie and Alice were in the middle of the mall when it started. They quickly got into an open doorway but the second floor was anything but safe. They prayed it would stop soon.
Jasper stood in the doorway to the kitchen, praying for his sister and fiancé, hoping they were safe.
~~LTaS~~
When the rumbling stopped, people came out and started surveying the damage. At the high school, students in Bella's English class quickly ran to help their teacher. As the boys lifted the shelf off of her another teacher came in to check and make sure all was okay. Seeing Bella on the floor with cuts on her arms and face from the glass shards, spurred him into action. He quickly ordered students to the office to call for an ambulance. He had the rest of the students go out in the hall and wait.
Due to the emergent situations as a result of the quake, it was almost an hour before the ambulance could get to the school and in that time Bella had not regained consciousness. They quickly strapped her to a board and headed off to the hospital. James, the teacher who had helped her, found her personnel file and called her brother.
"Hello?" Jasper answered not recognizing the number.
"Is this Jasper Swan?"
"Yes. Who is this?"
"My name is James Sweeney, I teach with your sister at the high school. I thought you should know Bella is on her way to the hospital. She was injured in the quake."
"What happened?"
"I'm not sure, it looked like a bookshelf fell on her. She has some cuts as well. She hasn't regained consciousness since the quake stopped."
Jasper grabbed his car keys and thanked James for the call. He was out the door as he hung up the phone, making his way to the hospital. He called Emmett on his way there.
"Cullen." Emmett snapped.
"Hey, Em, it’s Jasper. Listen, I need you to go to the mall and get Alice. She was there with Rosalie. Bella is in the hospital, I’m on my way there now."
"You got it. We'll meet you at the hospital." They hung up and Jasper kept driving.
When he finally made it there, Bella was in her own room. She had regained consciousness while en route to the hospital. She smiled when her brother walked in. She was just waiting for the doctor to come in and tell her the prognosis.
"Hey."
"Hey, how are you feeling?" Jasper asked as he sat beside her.
"I hurt everywhere. My back and head hurt the most." Before Jasper could respond, the doctor walked in.
"Miss Swan?" The doctor continued at her nod. "Well, you have a slight concussion, several superficial lacerations and your wrist is fractured. Unfortunately, we were unable to save your baby, but all signs say you will be able to conceive again. You should make an appointment with your OB/GYN as soon as possible. Any questions?" The doctor asked in a detached tone.
Bella had paled when he had said 'baby'. "I'm sorry, did you say I had a miscarriage?" The doctor nodded. "That's not possible, I wasn't pregnant."
The doctor looked down at her chart and looked back up at her. "You are Isabella Swan, correct?" At her nod, he finished. "Then this is correct. According to your chart you were about ten weeks. Again, I'm sorry. If you have any questions don't hesitate to call the nurse. Someone will be in shortly with your discharge papers."
After he had left, Bella looked at her brother and began sobbing. Her hand instinctively went to her abdomen. "How could I not have known? I had a life in me for ten weeks. Oh, God! What am I going to tell Edward?"
Jasper pulled his sister into his arms and held her as she cried for the baby she would never know. He was still holding her when Emmett and the girls walked in. Alice looked at Jasper and gave him a questioning look. He just shook his head at her and mouthed 'later'.
Bella's sobs finally quieted and she leaned back on the bed. She looked at her brother, "I need to tell Edward."
Emmett spoke up, "I'm sorry, Bells, they’ve gone black. I just heard on the way here."
"Bella, I don't think this is something he would want to hear over the phone. I think you should wait."
"How long, Jazz?" Bella snapped. "Until he’s stateside? There’s never going to be a good time to tell him this. He needs to know."
Rose spoke up. "What does he need to know?"
Bella looked at her friend as fresh tears rolled down her cheeks. "The doctor had just come in to tell me my diagnosis, and told me they couldn’t save my baby. I didn’t even know I was pregnant."
Alice's hand flew to her mouth and tears formed in her eyes. "How far along were you?"
"Ten weeks."
No other words were said as the nurse came in. "Isabella?" They nodded. “Okay, honey, I just need you to sign here and you can go home. The doctor wants you to stay in bed for the next few days and to take one of these as needed for pain. Now, you might have some mild cramping and some bleeding from the loss, but if you start soaking through your pads please come back in. Any questions?"
Bella shook her head woodenly as she signed all her papers and took her prescription. Jasper walked her down the hall and out to his car. Once she was settled, Jasper rounded the car and they headed back to her house. Emmett and the girls stopped off at the pharmacy and had her prescription filled. When they got to the house, Bella was settled in bed and Jasper was pacing the living room. Alice took Bella a glass of water and one of her pills, which she took and rolled onto her side. Alice rejoined everyone in the living room.
"I don't think she needs to be alone right now. She’s taking this pretty hard. Not that she shouldn't be. I also think we need to try and get in touch with Edward. Would it be possible at all?"
"Not right now. I can try and get a telegram to him, but that isn't a guarantee. I think we should just wait until the blackout is over. I'll call my mom, maybe she can come down and stay. We don't have to tell her why, just that Bella needs some help." Emmett suggested.
Everyone agreed it was the best option since they all had jobs. Jasper would be starting his new post soon, so Esme was the best choice. Emmett made the call and Esme agreed to come down the next day and stay as long as Bella needed her.
~~LTaS~~
Edward hated not being able to speak to Bella. He had heard about the earthquake and fervently hoped everyone was okay, Bella most of all. He couldn't wait to hear her voice.
Bella stayed in bed for the rest of the week. Esme came and they talked and she wept when Bella told her about the baby. The school had gotten a sub for her last few days and had sent flowers hoping for a speedy recovery.
Little did they know. Since the quake and her subsequent loss, Bella didn't think she could go back to teaching, but she wasn’t thinking clearly. Her grief was doing the thinking for her.
After she had been in bed for a few days, she knew she had to get up and pretend to live even though her heart was broken. She couldn't help but wonder if Edward would blame her. She hadn't known. She had no symptoms and still had her period. At least that's what she had thought.
The Monday after she was released from the hospital, Esme drove her to her OB's office. They did a routine pelvic to make sure all was as it should be and her body was healing from the miscarriage. They confirmed what the hospital had told her, she could have other babies. When she was done at the doctor, she noticed that she had missed a text. It was from Edward.
Blackout over. Call me. I love you. ~E
Bella felt her heart constrict. She had barely eaten and hadn't spoken to anyone but Esme in days. She was dreading the conversation she knew she needed to have.
"Esme, how do I tell him? Is he gonna hate me?" Bella cried. She had done nothing but cry for days and the evidence shown on her face.
"He’s not going to hate you. Edward loves you, Bella. This wasn't your fault. It was an act of nature, nothing more," Esme calmed her.
Bella sent a text back. Need to talk. Call on Skype. Love you, too.
Once they arrived at her house, Bella walked into her room and closed the door. She turned on her laptop just as Edwards' call came through. She hit the button to answer and there on the screen was the love of her life.
"Hey."
"Bella what's wrong, baby? You have me worried."
"I have to tell you something and it's really hard. I'm worried how you’re gonna take it, because I’m not handling it very well."
"Whatever it is, I love you, you can tell me anything. What's wrong? You're starting to scare me," Edward's face was twisted with worry.
Bella looked at him as silent tears began to roll down her cheeks. "You know about the quake right?" Edward nodded. "Well, I was knocked unconscious when a bookshelf fell on me. I was taken to the hospital and told I had a concussion and a fractured wrist. I was also told I was ten weeks pregnant." Bella paused to catch her breath.
"Bella...what?" Edward started.
Bella held up a hand to stop him. "I lost the baby, Edward. The trauma was too much for us and I had a miscarriage. I'm so sorry, I lost our baby. Please, don't hate me..." she stopped when her sobs were too much.
"Bella, baby, look at me," he waited until she raised her head. "I don't hate you. These things happen. For whatever reason, God decided that He needed the baby more than we did. I could never hate you, Sweetheart. Remember, you are my life now. I wish I was there to hold you and take away the pain, but I'm not. Just try and remember what my arms felt like around you. Is there anyone there with you?"
"Your mom is staying with me."
"Good. Listen, I have to go, Captain is calling me. I love you, Bella, hold on to that."
"I love you, too." Bella said and he was gone. She turned off her laptop and went into her bathroom, turning on the shower and stripping down, allowing the hot spray to wash her tears away. She would never forget the baby that they had made and never knew. Just as she knew now that Edward would never hate her. She stayed in the shower until the water ran cold, before getting out, drying off and deciding to live again. She would never forget, but she would survive.
Across the ocean a man wept for his love and the baby they never knew.