April 14, 2006
We had just gotten off the phone with Edward and Esme. They told us they were on the 110 and were going to be home in an hour or so. Carlisle and I sat in the family room in front of the rolling fire in the fireplace, waiting for them to arrive. It was unseasonably cold for this time of year.
About forty-five minutes later we heard knocking on the door. Carlisle got up to answer it and came face to face with my father, Charlie, the Forks police chief.
“Hello, Charlie. What brings you here?” I heard Carlisle ask.
“Carlisle, is Bella here with you?” he replied.
“Yes, yes she is. Come in.”
They made their way into the family room where I was watching the flames dance upon the wood. “Hi dad, what’s up?” I asked.
“Nothing good, I’m afraid. Carlisle, you may want to sit down for this. It concerns you, too,” my dad said with an overbearing sadness in his voice.
“Charlie, what’s going on?”
“Bells, Carlisle... I don’t have any idea how to…” he broke off mid sentence. It was unlike him to be afraid to say anything to me let alone Carlisle.
“Dad, what… what’s wrong???” I asked.
“I have some really bad news for the both of you, and this is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.” Charlie said shakily.
“Charlie, whatever it is, you can tell us. We’re all family here, and it can’t be that bad, or…can it?”
“Carlisle, Bells, you have no idea how hard this is…I got a call about 50 minutes ago about an accident. It was bad. It involved four cars including yours, Carlisle.”
“Dad?” “Charlie?” we asked in unison.
“Guys, I’m sorry, but Edward and Esme were killed in that accident. A tanker truck failed to stop at a red light and crossed the double line. The driver failed to notice the oncoming cars and plowed right into them. All vehicles involved exploded on impact.”
Stunned, we sat on the sofa as my father told us the story of what happened. “Bells are you ok?” Charlie asked me, and then to Carlisle, “How about you?”
I looked at my father, saying to him pointedly, “You tell me! My husband is dead, and so is his wife! How do you think we are? We’re stunned and in shock, for what it’s worth!”
“Charlie?” Carlisle asked, “Where are they now? Can we see them?”
“That’s not a very good idea, they were burned beyond recognition and the coroner is asking for DNA samples to positively identify them. We need anything like a hair brush,
tooth brush, clothing they wore recently, or a blood sample from surviving siblings or relatives.”
“Charlie, Bella and I can provide the samples necessary for the testing. We’ll get them to you in the morning, but I think we need to process this news you’ve given us first, then proceed with this later ok?”
“Yeah, sure. I’ll see you in the morning. Bells you can stay at the house with me if you want, ok?”
“NO! Dad I can’t. I’ll stay here with Carlisle. We need to stay together right now. I know you’re trying to make this transition easier for us, but neither one of us need to be alone. I guess you can stay here if you want to.”
“No, Bells. I have to get home to Sue and Seth, but thank you. If you two need anything, and I mean anything, you call me ok?”
“Sure, Dad... thanks.”
“Charlie, thanks for stopping by. Bella and I will see you in the morning,” Carlisle said somberly.
As I look back on that day, I still cry, as it was the worst day of my life. Carlisle and I decided that I would stay with him and get rid of the house I shared with Edward. We kept each other company. Still do. We helped each other through the mourning process, the funerals, and the endless tears.
Now I have a bigger problem… how do I tell Carlisle -my husband’s brother- I fell in love with him?
Carlisle, he’s a doctor at the hospital here in Forks. He stands 5’11”, weighs approximately 165lbs, blue topaz eyes, and sandy brown-blonde hair. As a matter of fact you could say he looks like Zeus’ better looking, younger brother... a model right off the pages of GQ... or a billboard for Calvin Klein.
When I look in those eyes, it’s like looking into Edwards. I can see into his soul and want to make all the pain go away. I want to see him smile or hear his laugh. When his hair falls across his brow, I want to brush it back, kiss his lips and hear him tell me he feels the same for me as I do for him. But I’m afraid.
He lost the sparkle in his eyes the day Esme was torn from him, as Edward was from me.
Waiting for him to come home, as I think back to that fateful day, the tears begin to fall. I didn’t hear him come in the house as I cry looking into the fire. I didn’t hear him call me, too lost in my painful tears.
“Bella? Edward wouldn’t want you to cry anymore.”
“I know but as the days pass, it seems to hurt just as much as it did then. Why?”
“I don’t know. It seems that way for me, too. Esme was my world like Edward was yours. They would want us to move on, though… find someone new to love and remember them as they were.”
Carlisle just held me and rubbed my back until the pain went away. I looked up at him, offering a small smile, “I realize you hurt as much as I do, and the thought of finding someone else kills me as it does you. There will never be another Edward for me, as there will never be another Esme for you. Who are we kidding, we died when they did. Would you…”
“Would I what?”
“Stay with me, until I go to sleep? I don’t want to be alone.”
“Sure. Go get ready for bed, and I’ll be up in a minute.”
I walked up the stairs slowly then turn into my room. The queen-sized bed seemed extremely huge in the darkness. I changed my clothes and climbed in. Still, it seemed so large and empty.
I lay on my side in the darkness, willing sleep to come, when the door opened and Carlisle climbed in beside me. He curled into my back, wrapped his arms around me, then just held me.
I must have dozed off, because I woke up at 3:30, then rolled over, only to see that gorgeous god was sound asleep. I gently put my head on his chest to listen to his heart beat. He pulled me close and we slept for what seemed like hours.
I awoke again at 8:30 to find him watching me.
“What?” I asked quietly.
“You were talking in your sleep and called for me,” he replied as a warm smile played across his lips. There was a sparkle in his eyes that had been missing for quite a while.
I hugged him while whispering, “Thank you.”
“Staying... I slept well with you here. Thank you.”
“You’re very welcome, though I must say the same to you. That had to be the best night’s sleep I have gotten in a long time too.”
We stayed in each other’s arms for what seemed like an eternity. I must have dozed off again from the warmth of his body next to me holding me. When I awoke again an hour later, I was alone, and he was in the shower.
I forced myself to get up. I went downstairs to make a pot of coffee, knowing he had to be at the hospital until later that afternoon.
“What are you going to do until I get home later?” He asked as he walked into the room.
“Try to keep a smile on my face and not pine for your return,” I commented jokingly.
“You?” His eyes snapped to mine, the most beautiful smile playing upon his lips, his handsome face lighting up as he chuckled. Much to my chagrin I smiled back. “Bella, I will be home early today. How do you feel about accompanying me to dinner in Port Angeles tonight?”
“Sure, I’m game…May I ask why???”
“Well, we’ve been cooped up in this house long enough, plus I have a few things I would like to discuss with you. Don’t worry, it’s nothing bad. Besides... I want to.”
“I should be here at 4:30. So how about we leave at 5:00?”
“Carlisle, are you sure?”
“I have never been more sure of anything in my entire life, until now. I would like you to where something really nice ok?”
“Ok, I’ll wear one of the new dresses I got when Alice and I went shopping.”
“Sounds intriguing... can’t wait. I’ll see you later.” He kissed me on the cheek and left for work, with me staring straight at his back in surprise.