Waiting For My Real Life To Begin
by Laura Spudzmom
Chapter 19
She was still sitting there when the door opened to the washroom, and she watched as Jasper went about dressing, taking careful note of the changes she saw in him.
He looked firmer somehow, his muscles a little more defined, not that he had been soft by any stretch of the imagination when he'd left, but now there was a maturity of form that hadn't been there before. His hair was also longer, the blond waves reaching to his jawline. Altogether, he now more closely resembled the vampire she'd first met in what was now another lifetime, and that thought brought fear with it.
What if that future still happened to him? She knew that she would go to the ends of the earth for him, even if he turned out as a cold one, no matter what her father said on the subject. She loved him and would follow him, no matter what.
He was just buttoning the cuffs of his shirt when there was a commotion at the door, followed by a loud knock, bringing a dark look to Jasper's face as he moved to answer it.
Bella stood as the door swung open, revealing an outraged Mrs. Whitlock who's expression turned to one of shock at the sight of her son. "Jasper!"
Jasper looked over to Charles who stood just behind and to the side of his mother, one brow cocked in silent question. "I'm sorry sir. I told her that Miss Isabella was not receiving, but she insisted and pushed past me."
Jasper nodded. "Don't worry yourself Charles. I'll see to my mother from here."
Charles inclined his head, turned and left, leaving Jasper looking at his Mother. "He had specific instructions from me that we were not to be disturbed, even for you Mother. Do you make it a habit to disregard the wishes of the people you call on now?"
She drew herself up. "Jasper Whitlock, how dare you speak to me in such a manner?"
"Just what has been going on while I've been away? Have you been forcing your company here? Another, more important question is why would forcing your company even be necessary? I remember a time when you and my wife got along just fine."
She stood there for a beat, looking as though she was searching for what to say before looking at Bella, a pleading look in her eyes. "We get along just fine, don't we Isabella?"
Jasper turned his head, his gaze appraising as he looked at his wife who looked away and chose to remain silent.
He nodded slowly, as if his suspicions had just been confirmed and turned back to his mother. "I'm not sure what happened, but rest assured I will find out."
"Jasper! I did nothing to that girl other than tell her that I knew she drove you away!"
A muscle twitched in his jaw. "So you blamed her for my leaving."
"I did, and I know I am right! You would not have left otherwise! You would have stayed safe from an impending war, but now you'll be right in the thick of it! I could lose my only son and it's all because of something she did!"
Bella watched as Jasper's body tensed, his hands in tight fists at his sides. "You are my mother and I love you, but you and your opinions have no place in my marriage."
His voice remained calm, controlled, but the underlying anger came through clearly and Bella was amazed to realize that it was more effective than shouting ever could have been in conveying the gravity of the situation.
"Never again will you treat my wife with anything less than cordiality, the way a mother should. If you do, you will find that you will not be welcomed in my home. Is that clear to you Mother?"
Her eyes filled with tears. "Jasper, you can't mean that…"
"I do mean it Mother. Isabella and our child mean everything to me and I will not have them treated with anything less than love and respect."
"Jasper I would never treat your child with anything but love! I love that baby already!"
He smirked bitterly. "Don't think I missed that you didn't mention my wife in that heartfelt declaration Mother. You will either learn to deal with your misplaced hostility, or you will not be welcomed in our home. I'll not afford you the opportunity to insinuate yourself between my wife and child."
She frowned and dried her eyes on a lacy handkerchief. "I think I should be going now."
Jasper nodded. "Think about what I said. I'll call on you later."
She nodded and her voice trembled as she spoke. "Your father will be pleased." She turned and left, looking defeated.
Jasper closed the door, one hand against it as he hung his head for a moment. "What exactly happened Bella? What was said?" He turned his head to look at her. "I need to know."
Bella sighed and went and sat on their bed. "It was just what she said. She asked me what I had done to drive you away. She said that she knew I had done something and that if you got hurt or killed in an upcoming war that she would never forgive me for the loss of her only son." She looked up at him, her eyes wet with tears.
"She is right though Jasper. It is my fault that you left. How can I fault her for feeling the way she feels? If only I'd been more open with you from the beginning, if only I'd had more control…"
He knelt in front of her, his hand cupping her cheek. "No Bella, the fault lies with us both." He looked away, staring into the distance. "When I asked your father for your hand, I swore that I would not join any conflict, and that fact had been bothering me, weighing on me." He looked back at her. "What kind of man won't fight for his country Bella?"
He took both her hands in his. "I told your father that I could be as useful in a business capacity, but deep down I felt inadequate with that. I really think I was just looking for an excuse to join, and the night that you revealed what you are gave me that excuse. I felt justified in breaking my word since you both had kept such a life altering secret from me… It doesn't really justify what I did, but that's how I reasoned it out at the time, in the heat of my hurt and anger."
She hung her head, a tear dropping to her lap as he moved to sit beside her, gathering her into his arms as he kissed her head. "Please Isabella, no more tears. I'm home now, home to stay."
Her breath caught and she looked up at him. "What? How can that be?"
He smiled and smoothed some hair from her face. "I've been transferred into the regiment assigned to protect Houston. I'm a Texas Ranger now and not just a soldier. I'll have some assignments that take me away from home for a couple of days at a time, but few and far between, which means that I'll be home with you as I would with any other job."
She studied him cautiously for a moment, trying to suss out what this meant for them and their relationship.
"Does this mean that you still want to be with me Jasper, in spite of what I am?"
He laid her back on the bed, looking down at her as he answered. "My Isabella, I've missed you so… I love you darlin', more than my own life. I'm so sorry for my careless words and deeds and if you'll still have me, then yes, I still want to be with you, more than anything."
He waited on her answer, wiping away the tear that traced into her hair.
She had ached to hear such a statement from him and now that she had, her heart could barely contain her emotions; emotions that she now choked on as she closed her eyes and turned her head as a quiet sob escaped her.
He laid next to her and pulled her close, her head now resting on his shoulder as she cried quietly, his fingers caressing her cheek as he consoled her. "Shh, Isabella… please don't cry. I'm sorry… so sorry for hurtin' you."
She nodded against him and tried to get herself into control when a sharp kick drew a gasp from her as Jasper startled from the feeling. "What was that?!"
She laughed through her tears, her hand now rubbing her belly as she sat up. "That, was your son making his presence known." She peeked at her husband who now had a curious look on his face. "He usually doesn't kick so hard but he doesn't like it when I'm upset. He tries very hard to soothe me, but I'm guessing he feels your presence. Perhaps he's a bit angry with you as that's the hardest kick I've ever felt from him." She shrugged.
He stared down at her belly for a moment before meeting her gaze. "You speak of him as if he's intelligent already."
She smiled. "Well, he is part vampire… I was told by my mother that I was very intelligent, even as an infant."
Moving his hand slowly forward, he smiled as he gestured to her belly. "May I?"
She took his hand in hers and placed it where she felt the most movement. "Of course Jasper. You're my husband, you're his daddy."
Her eyes teared up as she saw a gentle smile bloom on his features, his eyes lighting with wonder as he felt the gentle kicks and rolls of his child within her. He laughed when one kick moved his hand and he glanced up at her. "He's quite strong already!"
She couldn't help herself, his smile was so beautiful, she had to touch him and so she placed a hand on his lightly stubbled cheek, caressing gently with her thumb. "I've missed you so much," she said as her voice trembled and fresh tears filled her eyes.
Sitting up all the way, he pulled her close and held her tightly. "Hey now, don't cry darlin'. Please don't cry." He rocked her gently and kissed her tears away. "I missed you too baby doll, but I'm home now…I'm home."
His lips found hers and she returned his kiss with something close to desperation as her hands began to work the buttons on his shirt. His kisses moved to her neck and she moaned and said, "I need you Jasper…please…"
She got his shirt open and smoothed her hands over his chest and he groaned against her neck. "Lord I missed your touch."
His lips found hers again and she opened to him eagerly, drawing him in to taste and play as he lifted and laid her in the center of their bed. His hand glided up the length of her leg as he continued sucking and nipping at her lips, until he reached her apex where he cupped her firmly drawing a gasp and moan from her as she rocked into his hold, seeking… needing…
"Please Jasper… need you," she said in a breathy moan against his panting mouth.
"Let's get you undressed darlin'," he said as he started to sit up, but she shook her head and pulled him back down.
"No, just the knickers… take them off Jay…"
He nodded and grasped the garment in question, sliding it down and off before turning her to her side to face away from him as he kissed her neck and shoulder.
He reached down with one hand and loosened his trousers as she dragged her skirts up and hitched her top leg over his thigh.
Sliding down just a bit, he reached around her hip and ran his fingers through her folds to make sure she was ready before placing himself at her entrance.
With one smooth thrust of his hips, he buried himself in her slick heat, both of them moaning their appreciation at the feeling of being joined in such a way after so many months apart.
Her head rocked back onto his shoulder as she breathed out, "Oh god Jasper… you feel so good…" and he held her hip steady as he began to firmly thrust into her in slow, steady strokes.
"Isabella… my Bella" he whispered against her ear between sweet, hot kisses, "Ya feel like heaven, sugar… pure heaven."
She reached back and buried a hand in his golden waves as she begged him for more…harder… faster, and he delivered as he lifted her leg and increased his pace, drawing cries from her on every thrust as her orgasm built and finally peaked.
He reached his own completion four solid strokes later as he buried himself to the hilt with a low, drawn-out groan.
Reaching around her, he grasped her chin with gentle fingers and drew her into a kiss as they savored the afterglow of their lovemaking. "I love ya sugar," he whispered against her plump, soft lips, and she smiled against him as she playfully nipped his bottom lip.
"I love you too Jay, so very much," she answered, and just like that, everything was perfect in her world again…
…until the sound of shouts and angry voices reached them just as their door crashed open to reveal Jasper's enraged father. "Get yourself together son. We need to have a talk."
She was still sitting there when the door opened to the washroom, and she watched as Jasper went about dressing, taking careful note of the changes she saw in him.
He looked firmer somehow, his muscles a little more defined, not that he had been soft by any stretch of the imagination when he'd left, but now there was a maturity of form that hadn't been there before. His hair was also longer, the blond waves reaching to his jawline. Altogether, he now more closely resembled the vampire she'd first met in what was now another lifetime, and that thought brought fear with it.
What if that future still happened to him? She knew that she would go to the ends of the earth for him, even if he turned out as a cold one, no matter what her father said on the subject. She loved him and would follow him, no matter what.
He was just buttoning the cuffs of his shirt when there was a commotion at the door, followed by a loud knock, bringing a dark look to Jasper's face as he moved to answer it.
Bella stood as the door swung open, revealing an outraged Mrs. Whitlock who's expression turned to one of shock at the sight of her son. "Jasper!"
Jasper looked over to Charles who stood just behind and to the side of his mother, one brow cocked in silent question. "I'm sorry sir. I told her that Miss Isabella was not receiving, but she insisted and pushed past me."
Jasper nodded. "Don't worry yourself Charles. I'll see to my mother from here."
Charles inclined his head, turned and left, leaving Jasper looking at his Mother. "He had specific instructions from me that we were not to be disturbed, even for you Mother. Do you make it a habit to disregard the wishes of the people you call on now?"
She drew herself up. "Jasper Whitlock, how dare you speak to me in such a manner?"
"Just what has been going on while I've been away? Have you been forcing your company here? Another, more important question is why would forcing your company even be necessary? I remember a time when you and my wife got along just fine."
She stood there for a beat, looking as though she was searching for what to say before looking at Bella, a pleading look in her eyes. "We get along just fine, don't we Isabella?"
Jasper turned his head, his gaze appraising as he looked at his wife who looked away and chose to remain silent.
He nodded slowly, as if his suspicions had just been confirmed and turned back to his mother. "I'm not sure what happened, but rest assured I will find out."
"Jasper! I did nothing to that girl other than tell her that I knew she drove you away!"
A muscle twitched in his jaw. "So you blamed her for my leaving."
"I did, and I know I am right! You would not have left otherwise! You would have stayed safe from an impending war, but now you'll be right in the thick of it! I could lose my only son and it's all because of something she did!"
Bella watched as Jasper's body tensed, his hands in tight fists at his sides. "You are my mother and I love you, but you and your opinions have no place in my marriage."
His voice remained calm, controlled, but the underlying anger came through clearly and Bella was amazed to realize that it was more effective than shouting ever could have been in conveying the gravity of the situation.
"Never again will you treat my wife with anything less than cordiality, the way a mother should. If you do, you will find that you will not be welcomed in my home. Is that clear to you Mother?"
Her eyes filled with tears. "Jasper, you can't mean that…"
"I do mean it Mother. Isabella and our child mean everything to me and I will not have them treated with anything less than love and respect."
"Jasper I would never treat your child with anything but love! I love that baby already!"
He smirked bitterly. "Don't think I missed that you didn't mention my wife in that heartfelt declaration Mother. You will either learn to deal with your misplaced hostility, or you will not be welcomed in our home. I'll not afford you the opportunity to insinuate yourself between my wife and child."
She frowned and dried her eyes on a lacy handkerchief. "I think I should be going now."
Jasper nodded. "Think about what I said. I'll call on you later."
She nodded and her voice trembled as she spoke. "Your father will be pleased." She turned and left, looking defeated.
Jasper closed the door, one hand against it as he hung his head for a moment. "What exactly happened Bella? What was said?" He turned his head to look at her. "I need to know."
Bella sighed and went and sat on their bed. "It was just what she said. She asked me what I had done to drive you away. She said that she knew I had done something and that if you got hurt or killed in an upcoming war that she would never forgive me for the loss of her only son." She looked up at him, her eyes wet with tears.
"She is right though Jasper. It is my fault that you left. How can I fault her for feeling the way she feels? If only I'd been more open with you from the beginning, if only I'd had more control…"
He knelt in front of her, his hand cupping her cheek. "No Bella, the fault lies with us both." He looked away, staring into the distance. "When I asked your father for your hand, I swore that I would not join any conflict, and that fact had been bothering me, weighing on me." He looked back at her. "What kind of man won't fight for his country Bella?"
He took both her hands in his. "I told your father that I could be as useful in a business capacity, but deep down I felt inadequate with that. I really think I was just looking for an excuse to join, and the night that you revealed what you are gave me that excuse. I felt justified in breaking my word since you both had kept such a life altering secret from me… It doesn't really justify what I did, but that's how I reasoned it out at the time, in the heat of my hurt and anger."
She hung her head, a tear dropping to her lap as he moved to sit beside her, gathering her into his arms as he kissed her head. "Please Isabella, no more tears. I'm home now, home to stay."
Her breath caught and she looked up at him. "What? How can that be?"
He smiled and smoothed some hair from her face. "I've been transferred into the regiment assigned to protect Houston. I'm a Texas Ranger now and not just a soldier. I'll have some assignments that take me away from home for a couple of days at a time, but few and far between, which means that I'll be home with you as I would with any other job."
She studied him cautiously for a moment, trying to suss out what this meant for them and their relationship.
"Does this mean that you still want to be with me Jasper, in spite of what I am?"
He laid her back on the bed, looking down at her as he answered. "My Isabella, I've missed you so… I love you darlin', more than my own life. I'm so sorry for my careless words and deeds and if you'll still have me, then yes, I still want to be with you, more than anything."
He waited on her answer, wiping away the tear that traced into her hair.
She had ached to hear such a statement from him and now that she had, her heart could barely contain her emotions; emotions that she now choked on as she closed her eyes and turned her head as a quiet sob escaped her.
He laid next to her and pulled her close, her head now resting on his shoulder as she cried quietly, his fingers caressing her cheek as he consoled her. "Shh, Isabella… please don't cry. I'm sorry… so sorry for hurtin' you."
She nodded against him and tried to get herself into control when a sharp kick drew a gasp from her as Jasper startled from the feeling. "What was that?!"
She laughed through her tears, her hand now rubbing her belly as she sat up. "That, was your son making his presence known." She peeked at her husband who now had a curious look on his face. "He usually doesn't kick so hard but he doesn't like it when I'm upset. He tries very hard to soothe me, but I'm guessing he feels your presence. Perhaps he's a bit angry with you as that's the hardest kick I've ever felt from him." She shrugged.
He stared down at her belly for a moment before meeting her gaze. "You speak of him as if he's intelligent already."
She smiled. "Well, he is part vampire… I was told by my mother that I was very intelligent, even as an infant."
Moving his hand slowly forward, he smiled as he gestured to her belly. "May I?"
She took his hand in hers and placed it where she felt the most movement. "Of course Jasper. You're my husband, you're his daddy."
Her eyes teared up as she saw a gentle smile bloom on his features, his eyes lighting with wonder as he felt the gentle kicks and rolls of his child within her. He laughed when one kick moved his hand and he glanced up at her. "He's quite strong already!"
She couldn't help herself, his smile was so beautiful, she had to touch him and so she placed a hand on his lightly stubbled cheek, caressing gently with her thumb. "I've missed you so much," she said as her voice trembled and fresh tears filled her eyes.
Sitting up all the way, he pulled her close and held her tightly. "Hey now, don't cry darlin'. Please don't cry." He rocked her gently and kissed her tears away. "I missed you too baby doll, but I'm home now…I'm home."
His lips found hers and she returned his kiss with something close to desperation as her hands began to work the buttons on his shirt. His kisses moved to her neck and she moaned and said, "I need you Jasper…please…"
She got his shirt open and smoothed her hands over his chest and he groaned against her neck. "Lord I missed your touch."
His lips found hers again and she opened to him eagerly, drawing him in to taste and play as he lifted and laid her in the center of their bed. His hand glided up the length of her leg as he continued sucking and nipping at her lips, until he reached her apex where he cupped her firmly drawing a gasp and moan from her as she rocked into his hold, seeking… needing…
"Please Jasper… need you," she said in a breathy moan against his panting mouth.
"Let's get you undressed darlin'," he said as he started to sit up, but she shook her head and pulled him back down.
"No, just the knickers… take them off Jay…"
He nodded and grasped the garment in question, sliding it down and off before turning her to her side to face away from him as he kissed her neck and shoulder.
He reached down with one hand and loosened his trousers as she dragged her skirts up and hitched her top leg over his thigh.
Sliding down just a bit, he reached around her hip and ran his fingers through her folds to make sure she was ready before placing himself at her entrance.
With one smooth thrust of his hips, he buried himself in her slick heat, both of them moaning their appreciation at the feeling of being joined in such a way after so many months apart.
Her head rocked back onto his shoulder as she breathed out, "Oh god Jasper… you feel so good…" and he held her hip steady as he began to firmly thrust into her in slow, steady strokes.
"Isabella… my Bella" he whispered against her ear between sweet, hot kisses, "Ya feel like heaven, sugar… pure heaven."
She reached back and buried a hand in his golden waves as she begged him for more…harder… faster, and he delivered as he lifted her leg and increased his pace, drawing cries from her on every thrust as her orgasm built and finally peaked.
He reached his own completion four solid strokes later as he buried himself to the hilt with a low, drawn-out groan.
Reaching around her, he grasped her chin with gentle fingers and drew her into a kiss as they savored the afterglow of their lovemaking. "I love ya sugar," he whispered against her plump, soft lips, and she smiled against him as she playfully nipped his bottom lip.
"I love you too Jay, so very much," she answered, and just like that, everything was perfect in her world again…
…until the sound of shouts and angry voices reached them just as their door crashed open to reveal Jasper's enraged father. "Get yourself together son. We need to have a talk."
DISCLAIMER: Twilight and its inclusive material is copyright to Stephenie Meyer. Original creation, including but not limited to plot and characters, is copyright to the respective authors of each story. No copyright infringement is intended.