Arrested By You
by SparklingFae
A/N: Tissue Warning!! As always, beta’d by the awesomest NCChris. SM owns the characters..I just like to play with them in my sandbox.
Sam POV
The news that Bella and I were going to have a baby was a surprise, but a welcomed one. I was full of the joy that impending fatherhood brought. I finally felt that the spirits of my ancestors were smiling upon me and my impending family. I had even gotten the baby it's first present, a little black stuffed wolf, it sat in my passenger seat of my patrol car until I could present it to Bella at the right time.
Two weeks had passed and we both were planning how to decorate the nursery and had decided to go buy some baby books over the weekend. It was during my patrol shift that I got the call from a fellow officer on duty. Bella had been rushed to Forks General. Something was wrong, but he wouldn't tell me anything else. Tremors rippled through my body as I struggled to stay in control of my emotions and fears. I sped to the hospital. My fear mounted with each passing second.
After what seemed an eternity but was just minutes, I pulled up near to the emergency entrance and rushed in, the little black wolf clutched in my hand.
"I need to know where Isabella Swan is!"
The receptionist glared at me a moment for shattering the peace of the quiet waiting area, before shaking her head and pointing me to the third cubicle.
"Thanks."
Somehow I managed to move at a barely human speed over to where she was.
"Bella?"
One look at her tear streaked cheeks and I knew. I swallowed thickly, a tight knot of emotion lodged in my throat. She didn't even have to say it. I could feel it and it cut deeply. We had lost our baby.
I dropped to my knees, my emotions clashing and crushing me in a tidal wave that threatened to drown me. The stuffed wolf, that was in my hand, dropped to the ground as I struggled in my emotional turmoil, the toy forgotten in the moment. I barely noticed when Sue rushed in, the emotion so thick within the cubicle that it could be cut with a knife. The doctor came soon after, his face stoic as I stood next to Bella while I struggled to breath, to not lose it.
"I'm sorry, the pregnancy ended in miscarriage. Miss Swan, you will be able to go home as soon as we can be assured that the bleeding has stopped."
He gave her a brief check over before stepping back out to go check on other patients. My voice was rough as I tried to keep the anguish at bay. The words felt wrong, I was barely able to get them out.
"It'll be okay."
It was all I could say but even those words were hollow. Sue shook her head slightly before Bella lashed out, every word was full of her anguish and bitterness.
"It's not going to be okay!! We just lost our BABY!!"
Her words ended abruptly as Sue hugged her tight and they both begin sobbing. I was drowning, the emotions becoming too much as I trembled and my breathing begin to become shallow pants. I was fighting for control and losing.
Leah ran in, took one look at me and then Bella and her mom.
"What happened?"
Bella answered her, her voice a hoarse whisper, broken and dead.
"I lost the baby."
Those words, the ragged pain that beat at me from the bond that flowed between Bella and I, along with the sympathetic look that Leah gave me was too much. I shut down, my body trembling harder. I couldn't handle this. I was dragged under in the emotional turmoil and all I could think over and over was that it was just like losing Emily.
Bella, even through her suffering reached her hand out towards me and Leah put her hand on my shoulder as I vibrated, my figure coming very close to blurring. I choked on my pain and panic, my voice disturbingly close to a sob.
"I can't...I can't do this..."
Ignoring Leah's sharp intake of breath and the sob that I heard fall past Bella's lips, I turned and escaped the hospital, escaped the walls that felt as if they were closing in on me. I barely made it to the tree line when I exploded, my wolf surging forth and taking over. I ran and ran, not paying attention to where I was going. I only recognized after I had stopped that I was in the La Push forest. With a troubled and sorrowful heart, I tipped my head back and howled in agony.
Bella POV
He left me. We had just lost our baby and he left me. It hurt so damn bad that I didn't know how we were going to get back from this.
I slipped into a place that I had vowed that I would never return. I locked myself inside my head, the pain of what just happened was tamped down, blurred and softened like a dense fog. I barely noticed when Sue and Leah helped me get dressed and drove me home.
I just couldn't handle what happened alone. Leah tried talking to me, but her words sounded like she was speaking from a tunnel and I didn't respond. It wasn't until Paul showed up that I started to come back. Leave it to Paul to bust into my head and pull me out. He threw me over his shoulder and put me under ice cold water, drawing a shriek and garbled sputtering from me.
"You fucking ass!!"
He just shook his head and smirked that infuriating smirk that I wanted to slap off of his face. I felt my anger mixed with the pain of my loss rising and in a fit of rage, I slapped his cheek, just like I had all those years ago before I gasped, my eyes widening. A small cry fell from my lips as I felt the stinging pain from the force of the slap. My voice caught as tears filled my eyes and I broke down, sobbing so hard my words were almost indistinguishable.
"Shit, Paul..I..I'm sorry..."
He pulled me into his arms after turning the water off, his warmth seeping into my shivering body. His voice was low as he murmured soothing words in Quileute that I had no hope of understanding. Something had changed between me and him in that moment. He knew pain and loss; he knew suffering. I clung to him as he carried me to my bedroom. Rachel was there in the bedroom, waiting to help me change into something dry. She spoke quietly to Paul as he cradled me against his chest protectively while she dried my hair with a towel.
"Go...find him, Paul..I don't care how bad he is fucking hurting. They need each other right now."
He gently set me down on the bed, my tears starting up again as Sam’s scent surrounded me and squeezed his imprint’s shoulder before leaving to find Sam. I just wanted to lay down and will the world away, even if it was only for a few hours. As usual, luck wasn’t with me.
After Rachel disappeared to get me some tea and the medication the doctor had sent home with us, Jake came and tried to soothe my sorrow. His well-intentioned platitudes only incited my rage.
I screamed and struggled against him when he tried to hold me, my fists beat at his chest and my anger peaked while I struck out at my childhood best friend.
"It's not okay!! Dammit, I lost the baby! Sam and I wanted our baby so badly!!"
My anger finally receded when the tears choked me from yelling anymore as I sobbed. I barely felt the warmth of Jake’s hand as he stroked my hair, rocking me slightly in his lap. I had lost the baby. I had lost it and I might have even lost Sam. Sam hated me so much that he’d left. He’d run away from me. This was my fault. I had somehow caused myself to miscarry and inadvertently cost Sam his deepest yearning. Those thoughts terrified me so much, but at the same time, I knew they were true. I’d lost everything.
I felt my stomach roll with waves of nausea, gagging just as Jake got me to the bathroom, I heaved with choking sobs, purging the contents of my stomach until there was nothing left. I was spent emotionally and physically. Sam was all I could think of as unconsciousness claimed me. I couldn't survive this without Sam. I would die if I lost him, too.
Sam POV
The news that Bella and I were going to have a baby was a surprise, but a welcomed one. I was full of the joy that impending fatherhood brought. I finally felt that the spirits of my ancestors were smiling upon me and my impending family. I had even gotten the baby it's first present, a little black stuffed wolf, it sat in my passenger seat of my patrol car until I could present it to Bella at the right time.
Two weeks had passed and we both were planning how to decorate the nursery and had decided to go buy some baby books over the weekend. It was during my patrol shift that I got the call from a fellow officer on duty. Bella had been rushed to Forks General. Something was wrong, but he wouldn't tell me anything else. Tremors rippled through my body as I struggled to stay in control of my emotions and fears. I sped to the hospital. My fear mounted with each passing second.
After what seemed an eternity but was just minutes, I pulled up near to the emergency entrance and rushed in, the little black wolf clutched in my hand.
"I need to know where Isabella Swan is!"
The receptionist glared at me a moment for shattering the peace of the quiet waiting area, before shaking her head and pointing me to the third cubicle.
"Thanks."
Somehow I managed to move at a barely human speed over to where she was.
"Bella?"
One look at her tear streaked cheeks and I knew. I swallowed thickly, a tight knot of emotion lodged in my throat. She didn't even have to say it. I could feel it and it cut deeply. We had lost our baby.
I dropped to my knees, my emotions clashing and crushing me in a tidal wave that threatened to drown me. The stuffed wolf, that was in my hand, dropped to the ground as I struggled in my emotional turmoil, the toy forgotten in the moment. I barely noticed when Sue rushed in, the emotion so thick within the cubicle that it could be cut with a knife. The doctor came soon after, his face stoic as I stood next to Bella while I struggled to breath, to not lose it.
"I'm sorry, the pregnancy ended in miscarriage. Miss Swan, you will be able to go home as soon as we can be assured that the bleeding has stopped."
He gave her a brief check over before stepping back out to go check on other patients. My voice was rough as I tried to keep the anguish at bay. The words felt wrong, I was barely able to get them out.
"It'll be okay."
It was all I could say but even those words were hollow. Sue shook her head slightly before Bella lashed out, every word was full of her anguish and bitterness.
"It's not going to be okay!! We just lost our BABY!!"
Her words ended abruptly as Sue hugged her tight and they both begin sobbing. I was drowning, the emotions becoming too much as I trembled and my breathing begin to become shallow pants. I was fighting for control and losing.
Leah ran in, took one look at me and then Bella and her mom.
"What happened?"
Bella answered her, her voice a hoarse whisper, broken and dead.
"I lost the baby."
Those words, the ragged pain that beat at me from the bond that flowed between Bella and I, along with the sympathetic look that Leah gave me was too much. I shut down, my body trembling harder. I couldn't handle this. I was dragged under in the emotional turmoil and all I could think over and over was that it was just like losing Emily.
Bella, even through her suffering reached her hand out towards me and Leah put her hand on my shoulder as I vibrated, my figure coming very close to blurring. I choked on my pain and panic, my voice disturbingly close to a sob.
"I can't...I can't do this..."
Ignoring Leah's sharp intake of breath and the sob that I heard fall past Bella's lips, I turned and escaped the hospital, escaped the walls that felt as if they were closing in on me. I barely made it to the tree line when I exploded, my wolf surging forth and taking over. I ran and ran, not paying attention to where I was going. I only recognized after I had stopped that I was in the La Push forest. With a troubled and sorrowful heart, I tipped my head back and howled in agony.
Bella POV
He left me. We had just lost our baby and he left me. It hurt so damn bad that I didn't know how we were going to get back from this.
I slipped into a place that I had vowed that I would never return. I locked myself inside my head, the pain of what just happened was tamped down, blurred and softened like a dense fog. I barely noticed when Sue and Leah helped me get dressed and drove me home.
I just couldn't handle what happened alone. Leah tried talking to me, but her words sounded like she was speaking from a tunnel and I didn't respond. It wasn't until Paul showed up that I started to come back. Leave it to Paul to bust into my head and pull me out. He threw me over his shoulder and put me under ice cold water, drawing a shriek and garbled sputtering from me.
"You fucking ass!!"
He just shook his head and smirked that infuriating smirk that I wanted to slap off of his face. I felt my anger mixed with the pain of my loss rising and in a fit of rage, I slapped his cheek, just like I had all those years ago before I gasped, my eyes widening. A small cry fell from my lips as I felt the stinging pain from the force of the slap. My voice caught as tears filled my eyes and I broke down, sobbing so hard my words were almost indistinguishable.
"Shit, Paul..I..I'm sorry..."
He pulled me into his arms after turning the water off, his warmth seeping into my shivering body. His voice was low as he murmured soothing words in Quileute that I had no hope of understanding. Something had changed between me and him in that moment. He knew pain and loss; he knew suffering. I clung to him as he carried me to my bedroom. Rachel was there in the bedroom, waiting to help me change into something dry. She spoke quietly to Paul as he cradled me against his chest protectively while she dried my hair with a towel.
"Go...find him, Paul..I don't care how bad he is fucking hurting. They need each other right now."
He gently set me down on the bed, my tears starting up again as Sam’s scent surrounded me and squeezed his imprint’s shoulder before leaving to find Sam. I just wanted to lay down and will the world away, even if it was only for a few hours. As usual, luck wasn’t with me.
After Rachel disappeared to get me some tea and the medication the doctor had sent home with us, Jake came and tried to soothe my sorrow. His well-intentioned platitudes only incited my rage.
I screamed and struggled against him when he tried to hold me, my fists beat at his chest and my anger peaked while I struck out at my childhood best friend.
"It's not okay!! Dammit, I lost the baby! Sam and I wanted our baby so badly!!"
My anger finally receded when the tears choked me from yelling anymore as I sobbed. I barely felt the warmth of Jake’s hand as he stroked my hair, rocking me slightly in his lap. I had lost the baby. I had lost it and I might have even lost Sam. Sam hated me so much that he’d left. He’d run away from me. This was my fault. I had somehow caused myself to miscarry and inadvertently cost Sam his deepest yearning. Those thoughts terrified me so much, but at the same time, I knew they were true. I’d lost everything.
I felt my stomach roll with waves of nausea, gagging just as Jake got me to the bathroom, I heaved with choking sobs, purging the contents of my stomach until there was nothing left. I was spent emotionally and physically. Sam was all I could think of as unconsciousness claimed me. I couldn't survive this without Sam. I would die if I lost him, too.