Feel
by Wizardtho
Sam Uley. Uggh... why couldn't I get him out of my mind? Just for five frickin' minutes, I wished I could be free of him -of this memory and of how it continues to make me feel. I shouldn't feel like this about him fresh out of a breakup. It was no one's fault but my own, I knew.
I just... uggh. Damn it to hell. I just wanted to feel... to feel wanted, to feel desired, to feel -even if just for the span of a few minutes- that someone held passion for me. I wanted to hurt Edward for hurting me, so I chose to go against his 'don't do anything reckless' statement, almost as soon as he left me in the woods.
~Flashback~
After my disaster of an 18th birthday, as well as the subsequent 3-day hiding that Edward went into, he showed up at the treeline near my house as I parked just after school. He asked me to take a walk with him. Since I had quite a few things I wanted to say privately about what happened, I agreed.
I didn't take notice of how long we walked into the forest in silence, but we had long been off the clear path when he suddenly stopped and turned to me, blank mask firmly in place.
He started spouting a load of crap about him not loving me, me just being a distraction from his long and mundane existence, and how my feeble human mind was like a sieve... that it would soon be like he never existed to me. He was positive I would find a human man, one I'd marry and experience a human life with. He even had the gall to tell me he took all my photos and mementos of him and his family from my house... to help me move on with my human life.
I was so pissed at how he could treat me like a toy, how he could stand in front of me and say all that with a straight face, that I blew up. “Are you fucking kidding me right now? Seriously, Edward? After all the things I put up with, just to be with you, you're going to stand here telling me that I'll forget you like yesterday's garbage? You have a lot of nerve if you believe I'll just let you walk away without saying anything, especially with the mass amount of pure bullshit that just spewed out of your mouth. You can't just let someone into your world, make them part of your private lives, then discard them like a rotten piece of fruit. I'm not just some toy you can abandon, Edward!”
He went to say something, but I cut him off with my heated look, “You may think you can erase yourself from my life -force me to move on- but you can't take my memories, or the proof of what I went through to be with you. It's in the ever-strained relationship I'm trying to repair with Charlie, because of the lies I told him to allow me to leave. It's in the cold bite mark on my wrist, the broken bones I suffered from James, and the flashbacks I still have of the ballet studio. They are the proof of what I went through to be with you, no matter what you stole from my room. The proof I'll live with everyday, Edward, because you chose to let me into a world you claim I no longer belong in! You may not have truly cared about me, but I opened up to and loved every single person in your family. I felt like I had a real family, a real mom and dad, real brothers and sisters, for the first time in my entire life... and now you're taking them away from me! So fuck you, Edward, if you think I'm going to take your shit without telling you exactly what you are doing by leaving.”
He looked truly broken and pained by the time I finished my rant, but I couldn't give two shits about his feelings at the moment. Then he just topped everything off in the worst way. He straightened, let that stupid emotionless mask fall into place, then said, “I'm sorry you feel that way, Bella. I promise not to interfere with your life ever again. This will be the last time you see me. Just promise me one thing. If only for Charlie, promise not to do anything reckless. Take care of yourself.”
I was stunned speechless. I couldn't believe he would think that I would be spineless enough to hurt myself over him! Uggh, the nerve!
Unfortunately, by the time my mind actually wrapped around what he said, he had placed a kiss on my forehead and disappeared into the trees. He was gone, just like a gust of wind, while I was left alone... in the middle of the god damned forest!
That just made me even more angry, which prompted me to start pacing as I growled out, “Stupid deer-licking piece of.... Uggh... yeah, just tell the human it's dangerous in the woods, then leave her there alone, you ass-wipe! You could have at least left me on the clear path home, you mountain lion-sucking, uptight prick!”
To make matters worse, I just had to go kicking an exposed tree root -as if that was the spectacular ending my rant need- only to hear a sickening crack as I cried out in pain. Wonderful... just splendid.
I rolled slightly from my new position with my ass in the dirt, reaching in my back pocket for my phone, only to realise it was still in my backpack in my truck.
The universe is officially out to get me. Okay, think, Bella. You're a cop's daughter... you’re Charlie's daughter. You have a head on your shoulders, so use it. The sun's not too far from the position it was in when you got home, so you can't be too awful far from the house, and your truck's in the yard. If you try to find your way home now, you'll only make your ankle worse, plus you’ll probably head in the wrong direction. Your ankle is probably broken from your little ranting stunt, so you're better off just to stay where you are. Charlie will see the truck. When you aren't home cooking, he'll start calling around. A cover story about the Cullens leaving is surely already rushing through town, so when he finds out you aren't with any of your friends or at the hospital, he'll form a search party to check the woods. Just sit tight, and Charlie will have people looking soon.
That's exactly what I did. I stayed where I fell, adjusting to sit up against that damnable tree root, then focused on listening for anyone calling out. When the rain started coming down a while later, I scooted myself up against the base of the tree, which was mostly sheltered and dry.
The pain in my ankle was getting worse as time ticked by. I tried hard to shut out the image of Edward's words, so I kept my focus on listening for a search party.
By the time I finally heard shuffling through the leaves, I was numb from both the freezing rain and the images of how heartless Edward was. I was completely numb, but internally begging to feel anything, even if it was just the pain in my ankle.
The shuffling got louder, but instead of calling out to let whoever it was know where I was, I gasped as a huge black wolf cautiously approached me. There was something comforting -something deeply human- in the wolf's blazing eyes. I whispered in awe while the legends niggled at my brain, “Quileute. Protector. You're... God, you're beautiful.”
The mighty wolf stopped just inches in front of me, towering over me on the ground. I should have been afraid. I should have, but was still begging to feel something... anything.
The wolf's eyes searched mine, seeming to read my very soul, before dipping in to nuzzle at my neck. The scent and scorching heat permeating from the black giant did something very dangerous as it nuzzled deeper into my neck. I started to feel, but it wasn't what I was expecting to feel.
Arousal bloomed in the pit of my stomach at the scent, causing me to let out a shaky breath while bringing my hand up to touch the fur of its neck. It let out a pleased sounding rumble when my fingers slid through its fur, its muzzle nuzzled down between my breasts, then it gently nudged me to lay down.
Though I thought it odd, I did as I was bid, slowly laying back. The black giant hovered over me, nuzzling between my breasts, against my stomach, then slowly downward. When the wolf's nose reached the apex of my thighs, I gasped loudly, knowing it was most likely scenting my arousal.
After a quick second of nuzzling there, it hovered over me again, but its form was blurring. I blinked rapidly several times, making sure my eyes weren't deceiving me, then suddenly a familiar bronze face was just millimeters from my own.
Sam Uley, newly appointed Quileute elder and one of Charlie's fishing buddies, was looking at me from above with the most intense dark eyes. I could feel his breath against my face, see the swirling cocoa and caramel in the depth of his eyes, smell his mouthwatering scent surrounding me.
I was praying to every deity who would listen for this encounter not to end, begging for this bronze hulk of a man to keep making me feel. I was rewarded a split second later.
I trembled slightly when his breath next washed over my face again; my eyes fluttered as my arousal skyrocketed. With an almost rumbling purr from deep in his chest, Sam hungrily captured my lips with his. He nipped and sucked at my lips for several seconds, coaxing my own to give as much as he was. With a slight growl, he pressed his body fully to mine while deepening the kiss. He tasted of heat -of passion and desire and longing- which only had me begging with a wordless moan for more. It didn't even frighten me when my arms came up to wrap around his lower back, only to find his naked body pressing against me more eagerly.
One of my hands slid down to grab a hold of his tight rear, while the other found purchase in his short hair and tugged. Sam ended our kiss with a growl, looking deep into my eyes, then I felt his hand slowly inching up my stomach under my jacket and shirt. I held his gaze while arching into him, aching to feel his heat consume me.
Without a word, his hips pressed against mine again, his hand flexing around my ribs slightly just under my breast. I couldn't help but fist my hand tighter in his hair as I gasped at the delicious feeling.
Just as I looked deep into his eyes, I could see the passion and desire in them. I could feel myself internally begging for him to unleash it all on me. In the next second, he did.
After several quick movements on his part, along with a brief tearing sound, I found myself partially naked underneath him. My jeans and shoes had been removed, my top completely unbuttoned, my ripped thong was in his hand, and he was pulling the cups of my bra down to reveal my breasts while pressing his thigh to my core.
His mouth descended in a rush, taking the tight flesh of a nipple eagerly into his mouth, and what could only be described as a purr rumbled deep in his chest at the taste of me. With a wordless gasp and moan of pleasure from me, Sam was only too pleased to continue his passionate assault on my body.
For quite a while, everything was a blur of his large hands and wet mouth on my body, his growls and purrs against my skin. Then blissfully, his scorching heat was inside me as we moved together, filling me completely while he held me in his passionate embrace. There were no words spoken between us, just the sounds of our sex, my moans and gasps, his growls and purrs, along with our heavy breathing... but I wouldn't have wanted it to be any other way.
The only exception was our breathy cries of each others' names whenever one of us climaxed. Several minutes passed after our bodies stilled, with us still joined and our eyes locked as we calmed. Then, just as the pain of my ankle made itself known, his features changed slightly to worry.
The pain must have shown on my face, because Sam cupped my cheek before whispering worriedly, “Did I hurt you?”
I shook my head as I blushed, then ducked it into his shoulder as I replied, “No, um... it's my ankle. It was pretty numb before... before we... because I was so cold. I heard the crack, so I think it’s broken.”
He muttered what sounded like a curse in Quileute, then gently removed himself from me to kiss a meandering path down my body. He pointed to my left ankle, but when I shook my head, he gently took my right leg and foot in his large hands.
Sam peeled back my sock, then winced and made a small whining sound. It looked as if he was almost pained at the sight of me hurting, but that couldn't be right, could it?
He took it upon himself to dress me, making the process quick and virtually painless. He left the shoe off my right foot, then kissed my neck, whispering while lifting me bridal-style into his arms, “Let's get you back home, Beautiful. You need that ankle taken care of, and Chief's been worried sick.”
I frowned slightly, feeling that there should be more said between us, but my thoughts were scrambled as soon as he lifted my chin. He coaxed me into a slow passionate kiss before saying, “Hey, now. I don't regret anything that happened between us. You need to know that, Isabella. I know you probably need time… that I could have made my interest in you known in a much subtler way… but I can't make myself regret what we did together here. You gave me a precious gift, Beautiful, and I can't think of it any other way. You have all the time you need, so just know that I'll be waiting and willing when you feel ready to talk.”
I took a while to silently process what he said while he carried me easily toward the house, then finally whispered just before we hit the treeline, “I can't regret it either, Sam. I can't... but neither can I just jump into something with you. We barely know each other, plus I need time to wrap my head around a bunch of things, not just what happened beneath that tree.”
With that, Sam nodded with an understanding-but-sad look in his eyes, then made the last steps through the treeline, calling out, “I've got her, Chief! Call off the other boys.”
It was chaos from that moment on, with Charlie tearfully taking me from Sam, the rez boys and other officers being called back in from the search, plus the doc and ambulance and neighbors and God knows who else crowding the yard.
It was only a few minutes after Charlie sat me on the stretcher in the ambulance -while the doc was checking me out- that I noticed Sam silently walking over to his truck, where Billy and a few of the rez boys were waiting. He glanced back at me with a look of pure longing and sadness after helping Billy in, then hopped into his truck to drive off.
~End Flashback~
I don't know if I'll ever get the chance to talk to him, or if we'll ever be able to make anything out of what happened under that tree in the forest, but Sam Uley made me feel something incredible... at the moment I needed it most. The problem is, now that he's done so, I can't stop feeling -or thinking- about him.
I just... uggh. Damn it to hell. I just wanted to feel... to feel wanted, to feel desired, to feel -even if just for the span of a few minutes- that someone held passion for me. I wanted to hurt Edward for hurting me, so I chose to go against his 'don't do anything reckless' statement, almost as soon as he left me in the woods.
~Flashback~
After my disaster of an 18th birthday, as well as the subsequent 3-day hiding that Edward went into, he showed up at the treeline near my house as I parked just after school. He asked me to take a walk with him. Since I had quite a few things I wanted to say privately about what happened, I agreed.
I didn't take notice of how long we walked into the forest in silence, but we had long been off the clear path when he suddenly stopped and turned to me, blank mask firmly in place.
He started spouting a load of crap about him not loving me, me just being a distraction from his long and mundane existence, and how my feeble human mind was like a sieve... that it would soon be like he never existed to me. He was positive I would find a human man, one I'd marry and experience a human life with. He even had the gall to tell me he took all my photos and mementos of him and his family from my house... to help me move on with my human life.
I was so pissed at how he could treat me like a toy, how he could stand in front of me and say all that with a straight face, that I blew up. “Are you fucking kidding me right now? Seriously, Edward? After all the things I put up with, just to be with you, you're going to stand here telling me that I'll forget you like yesterday's garbage? You have a lot of nerve if you believe I'll just let you walk away without saying anything, especially with the mass amount of pure bullshit that just spewed out of your mouth. You can't just let someone into your world, make them part of your private lives, then discard them like a rotten piece of fruit. I'm not just some toy you can abandon, Edward!”
He went to say something, but I cut him off with my heated look, “You may think you can erase yourself from my life -force me to move on- but you can't take my memories, or the proof of what I went through to be with you. It's in the ever-strained relationship I'm trying to repair with Charlie, because of the lies I told him to allow me to leave. It's in the cold bite mark on my wrist, the broken bones I suffered from James, and the flashbacks I still have of the ballet studio. They are the proof of what I went through to be with you, no matter what you stole from my room. The proof I'll live with everyday, Edward, because you chose to let me into a world you claim I no longer belong in! You may not have truly cared about me, but I opened up to and loved every single person in your family. I felt like I had a real family, a real mom and dad, real brothers and sisters, for the first time in my entire life... and now you're taking them away from me! So fuck you, Edward, if you think I'm going to take your shit without telling you exactly what you are doing by leaving.”
He looked truly broken and pained by the time I finished my rant, but I couldn't give two shits about his feelings at the moment. Then he just topped everything off in the worst way. He straightened, let that stupid emotionless mask fall into place, then said, “I'm sorry you feel that way, Bella. I promise not to interfere with your life ever again. This will be the last time you see me. Just promise me one thing. If only for Charlie, promise not to do anything reckless. Take care of yourself.”
I was stunned speechless. I couldn't believe he would think that I would be spineless enough to hurt myself over him! Uggh, the nerve!
Unfortunately, by the time my mind actually wrapped around what he said, he had placed a kiss on my forehead and disappeared into the trees. He was gone, just like a gust of wind, while I was left alone... in the middle of the god damned forest!
That just made me even more angry, which prompted me to start pacing as I growled out, “Stupid deer-licking piece of.... Uggh... yeah, just tell the human it's dangerous in the woods, then leave her there alone, you ass-wipe! You could have at least left me on the clear path home, you mountain lion-sucking, uptight prick!”
To make matters worse, I just had to go kicking an exposed tree root -as if that was the spectacular ending my rant need- only to hear a sickening crack as I cried out in pain. Wonderful... just splendid.
I rolled slightly from my new position with my ass in the dirt, reaching in my back pocket for my phone, only to realise it was still in my backpack in my truck.
The universe is officially out to get me. Okay, think, Bella. You're a cop's daughter... you’re Charlie's daughter. You have a head on your shoulders, so use it. The sun's not too far from the position it was in when you got home, so you can't be too awful far from the house, and your truck's in the yard. If you try to find your way home now, you'll only make your ankle worse, plus you’ll probably head in the wrong direction. Your ankle is probably broken from your little ranting stunt, so you're better off just to stay where you are. Charlie will see the truck. When you aren't home cooking, he'll start calling around. A cover story about the Cullens leaving is surely already rushing through town, so when he finds out you aren't with any of your friends or at the hospital, he'll form a search party to check the woods. Just sit tight, and Charlie will have people looking soon.
That's exactly what I did. I stayed where I fell, adjusting to sit up against that damnable tree root, then focused on listening for anyone calling out. When the rain started coming down a while later, I scooted myself up against the base of the tree, which was mostly sheltered and dry.
The pain in my ankle was getting worse as time ticked by. I tried hard to shut out the image of Edward's words, so I kept my focus on listening for a search party.
By the time I finally heard shuffling through the leaves, I was numb from both the freezing rain and the images of how heartless Edward was. I was completely numb, but internally begging to feel anything, even if it was just the pain in my ankle.
The shuffling got louder, but instead of calling out to let whoever it was know where I was, I gasped as a huge black wolf cautiously approached me. There was something comforting -something deeply human- in the wolf's blazing eyes. I whispered in awe while the legends niggled at my brain, “Quileute. Protector. You're... God, you're beautiful.”
The mighty wolf stopped just inches in front of me, towering over me on the ground. I should have been afraid. I should have, but was still begging to feel something... anything.
The wolf's eyes searched mine, seeming to read my very soul, before dipping in to nuzzle at my neck. The scent and scorching heat permeating from the black giant did something very dangerous as it nuzzled deeper into my neck. I started to feel, but it wasn't what I was expecting to feel.
Arousal bloomed in the pit of my stomach at the scent, causing me to let out a shaky breath while bringing my hand up to touch the fur of its neck. It let out a pleased sounding rumble when my fingers slid through its fur, its muzzle nuzzled down between my breasts, then it gently nudged me to lay down.
Though I thought it odd, I did as I was bid, slowly laying back. The black giant hovered over me, nuzzling between my breasts, against my stomach, then slowly downward. When the wolf's nose reached the apex of my thighs, I gasped loudly, knowing it was most likely scenting my arousal.
After a quick second of nuzzling there, it hovered over me again, but its form was blurring. I blinked rapidly several times, making sure my eyes weren't deceiving me, then suddenly a familiar bronze face was just millimeters from my own.
Sam Uley, newly appointed Quileute elder and one of Charlie's fishing buddies, was looking at me from above with the most intense dark eyes. I could feel his breath against my face, see the swirling cocoa and caramel in the depth of his eyes, smell his mouthwatering scent surrounding me.
I was praying to every deity who would listen for this encounter not to end, begging for this bronze hulk of a man to keep making me feel. I was rewarded a split second later.
I trembled slightly when his breath next washed over my face again; my eyes fluttered as my arousal skyrocketed. With an almost rumbling purr from deep in his chest, Sam hungrily captured my lips with his. He nipped and sucked at my lips for several seconds, coaxing my own to give as much as he was. With a slight growl, he pressed his body fully to mine while deepening the kiss. He tasted of heat -of passion and desire and longing- which only had me begging with a wordless moan for more. It didn't even frighten me when my arms came up to wrap around his lower back, only to find his naked body pressing against me more eagerly.
One of my hands slid down to grab a hold of his tight rear, while the other found purchase in his short hair and tugged. Sam ended our kiss with a growl, looking deep into my eyes, then I felt his hand slowly inching up my stomach under my jacket and shirt. I held his gaze while arching into him, aching to feel his heat consume me.
Without a word, his hips pressed against mine again, his hand flexing around my ribs slightly just under my breast. I couldn't help but fist my hand tighter in his hair as I gasped at the delicious feeling.
Just as I looked deep into his eyes, I could see the passion and desire in them. I could feel myself internally begging for him to unleash it all on me. In the next second, he did.
After several quick movements on his part, along with a brief tearing sound, I found myself partially naked underneath him. My jeans and shoes had been removed, my top completely unbuttoned, my ripped thong was in his hand, and he was pulling the cups of my bra down to reveal my breasts while pressing his thigh to my core.
His mouth descended in a rush, taking the tight flesh of a nipple eagerly into his mouth, and what could only be described as a purr rumbled deep in his chest at the taste of me. With a wordless gasp and moan of pleasure from me, Sam was only too pleased to continue his passionate assault on my body.
For quite a while, everything was a blur of his large hands and wet mouth on my body, his growls and purrs against my skin. Then blissfully, his scorching heat was inside me as we moved together, filling me completely while he held me in his passionate embrace. There were no words spoken between us, just the sounds of our sex, my moans and gasps, his growls and purrs, along with our heavy breathing... but I wouldn't have wanted it to be any other way.
The only exception was our breathy cries of each others' names whenever one of us climaxed. Several minutes passed after our bodies stilled, with us still joined and our eyes locked as we calmed. Then, just as the pain of my ankle made itself known, his features changed slightly to worry.
The pain must have shown on my face, because Sam cupped my cheek before whispering worriedly, “Did I hurt you?”
I shook my head as I blushed, then ducked it into his shoulder as I replied, “No, um... it's my ankle. It was pretty numb before... before we... because I was so cold. I heard the crack, so I think it’s broken.”
He muttered what sounded like a curse in Quileute, then gently removed himself from me to kiss a meandering path down my body. He pointed to my left ankle, but when I shook my head, he gently took my right leg and foot in his large hands.
Sam peeled back my sock, then winced and made a small whining sound. It looked as if he was almost pained at the sight of me hurting, but that couldn't be right, could it?
He took it upon himself to dress me, making the process quick and virtually painless. He left the shoe off my right foot, then kissed my neck, whispering while lifting me bridal-style into his arms, “Let's get you back home, Beautiful. You need that ankle taken care of, and Chief's been worried sick.”
I frowned slightly, feeling that there should be more said between us, but my thoughts were scrambled as soon as he lifted my chin. He coaxed me into a slow passionate kiss before saying, “Hey, now. I don't regret anything that happened between us. You need to know that, Isabella. I know you probably need time… that I could have made my interest in you known in a much subtler way… but I can't make myself regret what we did together here. You gave me a precious gift, Beautiful, and I can't think of it any other way. You have all the time you need, so just know that I'll be waiting and willing when you feel ready to talk.”
I took a while to silently process what he said while he carried me easily toward the house, then finally whispered just before we hit the treeline, “I can't regret it either, Sam. I can't... but neither can I just jump into something with you. We barely know each other, plus I need time to wrap my head around a bunch of things, not just what happened beneath that tree.”
With that, Sam nodded with an understanding-but-sad look in his eyes, then made the last steps through the treeline, calling out, “I've got her, Chief! Call off the other boys.”
It was chaos from that moment on, with Charlie tearfully taking me from Sam, the rez boys and other officers being called back in from the search, plus the doc and ambulance and neighbors and God knows who else crowding the yard.
It was only a few minutes after Charlie sat me on the stretcher in the ambulance -while the doc was checking me out- that I noticed Sam silently walking over to his truck, where Billy and a few of the rez boys were waiting. He glanced back at me with a look of pure longing and sadness after helping Billy in, then hopped into his truck to drive off.
~End Flashback~
I don't know if I'll ever get the chance to talk to him, or if we'll ever be able to make anything out of what happened under that tree in the forest, but Sam Uley made me feel something incredible... at the moment I needed it most. The problem is, now that he's done so, I can't stop feeling -or thinking- about him.