This story is rated MA for language and adult situations. Not Intended For Those Under 18.  Any Recognizable names, brands, ect. are the sole properties of their owners. This story is intended to be solely a work of fanfiction, never profit.

Worth Every Second 

            It's amazing how sometimes your whole life can flip on end, seemingly out of nowhere. You can feel like you know where you life is headed, who that life will be shared with, and then out of nowhere, you aren't certain of anything anymore. That is what happened to me, and this is the story of how I found not only the missing piece of myself, but a love worth more than life itself.

            Senior year was finally over, and I had moved into the cottage on the Cullen property. Edward had thought that it was just a cover for Charlie, but I had instantly fallen in love with it when Esme showed me the renovation plans, and she offered it to me when it was done. I wasn't ready to be living in the same room as Edward, especially when we weren't intimate, so I gladly took the cottage.

            Edward had asked me to marry him on more than a few occasions, but for some reason, I just couldn't say yes. Something always stopped me. It didn't feel right... didn't feel like the pieces were fitting just so in my puzzle... so I reluctantly kept telling him I just wasn't ready. I hated seeing the rejection and hurt in his eyes, but I couldn't just tell him yes, when something about the whole thing felt so off  inside me.

            It wasn't long after my move into the cottage, that the dreams started. Dreams of feelings... feelings so intense, that I longed for them to be real. Dreams of caressing hands, passionate kisses, and a muffled desire-filled voice saying my name like it was the answer to life itself. I couldn't tell who the voice belonged to -or the hands and kisses, for that matter- but I ached for them. I longed for the voice and body so badly that I always woke from those dreams breathless, only to break down in tears when I realized it wasn't real.

            I started sleeping less and less, thinking that if I didn't sleep, I wouldn't dream. Ha... like that actually worked. It only made the dreams that much more vivid when I finally fell into an exhausted sleep. I tried to change around my nightly routine, thinking that if I changed things up, it would confuse my dream state into changing things up, too. Nope... no such luck. I even tried to get Edward into pushing our 'intimacy boundaries' just a bit, hoping that if he would show me a little bit of what I was obviously craving, the dreams would go away. He basically told me it was too dangerous, and to take a cold shower to get my hormones under control. I couldn't even get my own mate to kiss me properly. How pathetic am I?

            I finally broke down, in the garage of all places, when I slammed my truck door and my bag ripped as it got caught. Rose came out a few minutes later, saw me crying on the cement with my ripped bag on the floor, and knelt down in front of me. “You've never been one for fashion, Bella, so I know you aren't crying over a Gucci bag... no matter how awesome it is. Care to share what's really bugging you?” I just cried harder, and shook my head. “He doesn't want me. He's with me, tells me he loves me, but I can't even get him to kiss me. What kind of pathetic nobody can't even get their boyfriend to kiss them? Then these fucking dreams... agghh... I can't get away from them, and I'm so fucking tired.”

            Shockingly, Rose picked me up and carried me to the cottage, then sat me down and made me a cup of tea. When she handed it to me and sat down, she said, “Alright. Now let's take this one step at a time. Let's start with the smaller of the two... the dreams. Explain them to me, and I'll see if I can help make sense of them.” I nodded and sniffled a bit, then said, “I don't see anything except for a hazy mist. It's the feelings and sounds. I feel caressing hands and passionate kisses. I can feel my heart racing and my stomach knotting in the best ways, and I hear someone's muffled voice. It's full of desire, and he cries out my name into my skin, like it's the answer to a prayer. I always wake up longing for it to be real. Then, when I realize it isn't, I can't help but break down from the feeling of loss.”

            Rose whispered after a second, and her voice was soft and serious. “Wow... okay, you said something about Edward not kissing you. Can you explain that? I have a feeling your dreams are tying into your waking state.” I nodded, “Edward has these high and mighty Victorian morals, which I can understand to a point. My problem is this. I understand we can't have sex until after I'm changed, because of my barrier issue and being his singer, but why won't he kiss me properly? Just a simple kiss. It doesn't have to be a damn tongue battle, but for crying out loud, Rose. Every kiss makes me feel like I'm kissing my damn brother, or something. Carlisle says it's not going to turn me, but Edward keeps saying it's too dangerous. I tried to get him to give me one true kiss yesterday, and you know what he told me? 'It's too dangerous, Love. I know your teenage hormones are getting the better of you right now, so go have a long cold shower, and you'll see I'm right once you're in control again.' Can you believe that?”

            Rose looked at me slack-jawed. “Holy shit, Bella. This is more than just morals, Sweety... he's lost his fucking marbles. How have you stayed with him this long, if he's not even kissed you senseless, yet? Listen, it's obvious that your relationship with Edward is lacking in that department, but I think there might be more to these dreams. Are you having them often? Does Edward ever make you feel like the dream does... even the slightest bit?”

            I thought about what she said for a minute, then said sadly, “The dreams are almost nightly lately, and I've never felt the longing or desire for him that I feel from the dream. It feels so real, Rose, and I even tried starving myself of sleep to make them go away. The longing and loss when I wake practically tear me up inside.” She nodded seriously, then said, “You are a part of this family, whether you are with Edward or not. I'm saying that because it's true, but also because I think you should really analyse your relationship.”

            She took my hand and asked, “Ask yourself this. Are you giving a significant amount more in the relationship than he is? Human or not, a good relationship is 50/50. Do you consider each others' points of view before you make a decision that effects both of you? If one of you is constantly giving more than receiving, or constantly deciding things for the other, then there are some serious issues there. Are you willing to live like you are now, in this type of relationship, until your dying day? Will he ever change you? Those are the things you need to find the answers to. I'm not telling you what to do. I'm simply asking you to think about it rationally, and ask yourself what you want for your life. If that ends up being with Edward, so be it, but I think your longing and loss are indications of needing something that he's unwilling to provide, no matter how small the request.”

            She left soon after that, and I lost myself in my thoughts for quite a while, until I heard Edward speaking to me. I felt him take the cold tea from my hand as he asked, “Love, are you well? I knocked, and you didn't answer. You didn't even respond when I came in and greeted you.” I shook myself mentally, then said, “Yeah, just lost in thought. I thought you were going hunting?” He scowled, then said a bit bitterly, “I was, but Alice informed me that a vampire Jasper sired is coming for a visit. He's a human drinker, so I came straight back.” I chuckled, “Peter's coming here? I thought Alice and Jasper were going down to visit him. Why the switch?”

            Edward wasn't happy about Peter coming around with me anywhere in Washington, needless to say, but I managed to make him see that I had him and the family all there as protection, and that I wasn't going to let a red-eyed vampire coming around run me out of town again. He made up all these rules for me about while Peter was here, which pissed me the hell off, but I stayed silent. I'd mull everything over once Edward left for the night... which he didn't seem willing to do.

            Once I finally was able to convince Edward that Peter would be showing up at the main house, he finally agreed to go, but made sure my phone was on charge right next to the bed, so I could reach him. It took me a long while to fall asleep that night, but when I finally did, my dreams were more vivid than ever before.

            The next morning I walked into the main house like I always did, but was met with a chiseled god tying his boots at the bottom of the stairs. He was dressed casually, in an 'inside/out seam' light gray shirt and destroyed black jeans. His short, sandy blonde hair curled up at the tips, and my fingers itched to bury themselves in the silky looking locks. I could see the muscles in his arms and abs flex with every move, and it made my mouth water. When he looked up and his eyes met mine, I knew I was in trouble with a capital everything. Long lashes, bottomless crimson eyes that seemed to smolder and swirl, the 'day old shave' look... and then he spoke with a voice that seemed to wrap around me and ignite a longing deep inside me.

            “Hey there, Sug. I'm Peter.” Butterflies took over my stomach, and I had to mentally shake myself before I smiled, “Nice to meet you, Peter. I'm Bella, but you probably already know that.” He gave me the most brilliant smile, and I suddenly wanted to make him smile like that all the time. “I did, and it's nice to finally meet the beauty that truly is worthy of her name. Ali and Major talk about you all the time.”

            Just then, Edward whipped in front of me, blocking my vision of Peter, and scowled, “I thought I told you I'd come get you this morning. I went to the cabin, but you weren't there. Why didn't you wait for me?” I scowled right back. “No, you didn't tell me that, and I just did what I do every morning. It's not a crime, Edward, and Peter's being a good little vamp, so let it go.” I went to walk into the kitchen, where the smell of cinnamon rolls was coming from, but Edward grabbed my hand a bit too tightly and said slowly. “I needed to talk to you, Isabella. Walk with me.”

            Once we were outside, Edward tossed me onto his back, and ran back toward the cabin. He didn't set me down until we were in the living room, and then he said, “What was that about? You've never spoken to me that way before.” I shrugged and said, “You've never been that rude before. Newsflash, Edward. I'm not three years old, and I can walk and talk just like a big girl. I can even make my own decisions. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going back to the main house, because you unceremoniously took me away from the breakfast I was going to sit down and eat... without even asking me, mind you... and almost crushed my hand in the process. When you can think rationally and actually speak to me like the adult I am, then we will talk.”

            I left him standing in the middle of my living room, with his mouth agape, and started the trek back to the main house. I thought while I walked, and knew that I felt bad for how I spoke to him, but damn it... I'm not a child. That got me thinking about what Rose had said the night before, and I became more and more somber, the closer I got to the house. By the time I was sitting in the kitchen with my breakfast in front of me, I couldn't even stomach trying to eat.

            Alice came into the kitchen at some point, giving me a confused look. After a second, she took my hand and asked, “You alright? You seem lost.” I shook my head and said, “I just want to go back to the cabin. I'm not feeling up to being around company -or anyone- right now. Tell Peter I'm sorry?” She nodded slowly, then offered, “Let me walk back with you... I was just getting ready for a solo hunt, so they could have some guy time.”

            I locked the door once Alice had dropped me off at the cottage, and texted Edward. I didn't feel like talking while I had so much on my mind, and I knew he would be here soon when he saw I wasn't at the house. “Not ready to talk yet. I'll let you know when I am.” His response was immediate, “We need to talk through whatever is happening with you, Isabella.” That pissed me off to no end, and without thinking, I typed furiously, “It's not just me that has the problem, Edward. It's us. Our relationship is the problem, and if you can't see that, then there won't be any talking happening.” I hit send before I could begin to regret what I typed.

            I shouldn't have been surprised, but Edward showed up banging on the door less than two minutes later. I let out a sigh, then whipped the door open and said, “If you break my door, you'll be replacing it with another custom one. Esme spent a lot of her time on this cabin, so show her hard work some respect, even if you currently aren't showing me any. I told you I would let you know when I was ready to talk, yet here you are, pounding on my door and showing me that my wishes mean nothing to you.” I left the door open and walked to the living room, then plopped on the couch. I knew he would come in, and when he stood in the living room stiffly, I shook my head.

            “You're already on the defensive, and you haven't even heard what I have to say. That shows me you aren't going to truly listen, and everything's going to be my fault. You can leave the way you came in.” I got up to walk into the bedroom, but Edward stopped me with a cool hand to my shoulder. “Talk to me, Isabella. Tell me what's going on, because to tell you the truth, I have no clue right now.”

            I took a steadying breath, then sat back down on the couch, curling my feet under me. He sat opposite me in the chair, and I took a good look at him. My stomach suddenly felt nauseous, knowing that he would never turn me, never make love to me, never even kiss me, no matter what I had to say. I had to try one last time, though.

            “Who am I, Edward? When you look at me, who do you see?” He gave me a curious look, and I said, “I'm asking because I don't see anything left of me that made up who I was when I moved here. I may look like her physically, but everything I am has been slowly given up for your wants and your whims. I want you to go into my closet and tell me what you see. Look really closely, then come back here and tell me what you see.” He shook his head, “Bella, what is thi-” I held up my hand and said, “Please... just do it. I need to know what you see.”

            He reluctantly got up and went into my bedroom, then came out a few minutes later. He sat back down, then said, “I see the pretty dresses and things you got on shopping trips with Alice, along with boxes on the floor that hold pictures and such. Bella, I don't understand what you're asking.” I nodded, knowing this was coming. “Do you want to know what I see?” He nodded, and I said, “Edward's preferences. When I moved to Forks, my clothing was vibrant and full of color, which reflected me. Now, I look in that closet and want to cry. That's your taste, Edward, not mine. There are probably 4 main colors in there, with variant shades of each... and every one of them is one you like on me, or you think I look beautiful in. If I wear anything else, you tell me that you prefer me in this or that, and make it clear that you wish I would change.”

            He didn't say anything, but I could see his mind going over everything at vampire speed, so I continued. “When was the last time you asked me my opinion on something? When was the last time a decision that concerned me was made, and you asked me what I wanted? When was the last time you asked me what I wanted to eat, or where I wanted to go, or what I wanted to do, without just making the decision for me, and expecting me to go along without complaint? Can you honestly tell me that any of those things have happened within the last week? Month? Three months?”

            Edward got up and started pacing the floor, and every once in a while his hands would torture his hair. When he finally stopped, it was because my stomach was growling. He went directly to the fridge, made up a tray with fruits and cheeses, placed a bottle of water on the tray, then came back and placed it in front of me, all without saying a word. I shook my head sadly and pointed at the tray, “That right there... that's my point. Did you ask me if I wanted cheese and fruit? What if I had wanted a sub or pizza? Do you even care what my wants are? I'm not your puppet, Edward, I'm supposed to be your mate... but more and more lately, I wonder about whether I really am.”

            He gave me an alarmed look, but I shook my head and continued. “Think about it... I mean really look at us, Edward. When it comes to being mates, at the very core of it, we don't have what Carlisle and Esme or Jasper and Alice have. We don't have what even Rose and Em have. They're all equals in their relationships. They make decisions with their partner together as a team, talk though things with each other, and treat their mates with respect by asking their opinions and views. I don't care whether they're vampires or mixed species or not, the fundamentals are the same. At our very core, we have none of that, so how can I be believe I'm your mate? Am I supposed to live the rest of my human life without a say in what I do or where I go? I mean, let's get real here... you're never going to change me, no matter what you say to placate me, and you'll never allow anyone else to.”

            He winced, but I knew I was right. He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it and fisted his hands in his hair as he looked at the floor. I sighed, “Do you know I was willing to endure pain every single time after my change, just so you would make love to me? I don't know if you realise this, but think rationally. If I was changed with my barrier intact, every time we made love, it would have to be broken again. Every time it would heal back. Every single time, I would be in pain, and I was willing to go through that to be with you... to show you that I love you in an intimate way. Can you honestly tell me that you would ever truly kiss me as a human? Make love to me as a human? Do you even really want me? You can't have it both ways, Edward, and I'm not willing to live like this anymore. I've given all of myself, changed myself to be what you needed, but when are my needs taken into consideration? When would everything I've given up be enough for you?”

            He let out a shaky breath, then I said, “I think you really need to look at everything about us, and ask yourself if I'm what you truly want. Know that I will be changed, with or without your consent, if you say you truly want a life with me. We can't have a life together, be true mates to each other, if you refuse to show me any form of physical closeness. If you can't handle that and being in a 50/50 partnership with me, then I think you understand what needs to happen with us. Please don't say anything until you've had time to truly think.”

            Edward looked up at me sadly for several minutes, then finally nodded. He stood and traced my cheek, then choked out, “I'm sorry, Isabella... I didn't realise this was what was happening, but I promise to do as you ask. Goodnight, Love.” He walked slowly out the door, then gave me one more sad look before he closed it and left. I let out a breath and felt... empty... hollow. I had laid myself bare before him, and now all I could do was wait. I had a sinking feeling I knew what his choice would be, but I didn't have the energy to dwell on it.

            I could feel the tears falling from my eyes before I curled up on the bed, but oddly enough, they weren't tears of pain, sorrow, or even grief. They were tears of freedom... of relief... but they felt hollow. I was empty, but I was free... and none of made sense, because I was too numb to consider what I had just done.

            “I thought you'd like some company. I brought Chunky Monkey.” Alice was waving the container at me with a spoon in it, and I let out a half sob/laugh. It had been several hours, and the first thought I had was spoken through my pitiful sob/laugh combination, “God, I love you, Ali.” She wrapped me in her arms on the bed, then said with a sigh, “Rose told me about your conversation, and I saw you deciding to get everything out in the open with Edward. You did the right thing, you know.” I shook my head. “I don't know, Ali. If it was the right thing to do, why to I feel so empty?” She hugged me tightly, “It's because he's been controlling everything, and you need to find yourself again. You need to find Bella... the real Bella... and not be Edward's version of it anymore. No matter what his decision turns out to be, and what the two of you decide to do about your relationship, you can't go back to that anymore, Sweety.”

            I nodded and hugged her tightly, “I know... I'm scared, though, Ali. What if I can't find myself again? What if I've been lost for too long, and I can't find the real me again?” She smoothed my hair from my face and said softly, “You will, Bella, and we'll all be here every step of the way. The first step, when you're ready, is shopping. Your wardrobe is being replaced Jazz and I as your 'Finding Bella' gift. Each of us is giving you one gift, and there will be no complaining. We all want to do this for you, and help you on the path to finding yourself again.” I shook my head, then said, “My only stipulation, is that if I start looking at clothes similar to what I already have, I want you to smack me out of it. Also, no buying things I say no to.” She beamed at me, then held out her pinky, “Pinky swear. We can go in the morning, if you want.”

            Best. Shopping. Spree. Ever. I kid you not. I actually enjoyed shopping for the first time since my move to Forks. Even though I thought about what Edward would think a few times, Alice gave me her patent 'you are seriously working towards a smack-down,' look, and that was all I needed to get back on track. My wardrobe was actually fun and lively again, and I couldn't wait to wear the things we bought. Everything from everyday clothes, shoes, and accessories, to lingerie, club outfits, and party clothes. I was glad we took Esme's suburban by the time we got finished, because not only was the back filled, but all of the unoccupied seats, too. Alice giggled and shook her head when she piled the last bag from the lingerie shop in, “This was so much fun, Bella. I'm really proud of you. I never even had to say anything to you, and I was sure I was going to need to. Jazz will be so proud.”

            She whipped her phone out as she hopped in the driver seat, then pressed a button. “Can you and Peter meet us at the cottage? Yeah, but I'll let her tell you when we get there in 27 minutes. Love you.” We drove home laughing and joking, and I felt lighter as I realised I accomplished something big today... something just for me, and I did it without Edward.

            The beautiful smile that greeted me when we parked in front of the cabin... well, it made my insides flutter. Peter was beaming at me, and I couldn't help but smile back. He held his hand out for me to take, and once I was standing, he whispered, “You had a breakthrough today, Sweet Pea.” I nodded, and he said, “Good, you look happy, and that's what matters.” I grinned, then asked, “Care to help out with the department store in the suv? I need to toss everything in my closet and put the real me on hangers.”

            The four of us had a blast redoing my closet. We laughed and told stories, joked and played around. There were several times that I caught Peter looking at me, and each time, I caught myself feeling longing and desire. Jasper chuckled and came up behind me, after one suck look, when I was getting water from the fridge. He whispered so only I could hear, “You know... maybe your feelings are telling you something. Are you going to listen to them?” I shook my head and said, “I can't right now, Jazz... and he's your brother. Isn't that against some kind of code or something? Anyway, I need to know who I am before I can expect someone else to. Edward may not be around right now, but we left things unfinished, and once I find myself, I need to know if he can love the real me. Don't I owe our relationship that much?”

            Jasper shook his head, then said, “All I'm saying, is that not once, in the whole time you were with Edward, did he make you feel how Peter does, with just one look. Not when he kissed you or looked at you, and not when he held you or told you he loved you. Are you going to stay in a relationship that doesn't make you feel beautiful or wanted? Sexy or desired? Or are you going to grab life by the horns and do what will make you happy?” I looked up into his eyes, then said, “That's part of finding out who I am, isn't it?” He smiled and pulled me into a hug, “It is, Sug. I just want you to have what I have with my Ali, that's all.”

            Just then, Peter came into the room with his arms open and a grin on his face, “Can anyone join, or is this a private thing?” Jasper laughed and said, “Get in here, you lug. Actually, you can take over my hugging duty for now, because Ali's got some frisky feelings surfacing. I hear a forest romp calling our names.” I smacked Jasper's chest as Peter twirled me into his arms, and when my nose connected gently with Peter's chest, his scent enveloped me. I tried to bite back my moan as I backed up, but Jasper's raised eyebrow and chuckle told me it clearly didn't work. “Shut it, Jazz, or I'll have Ali hide your Civil War books for a month.” He wisely decided to bolt out the door in the next second.

            Peter and I talked while we finished up putting my clothes away, but when he went to grab the bags from the lingerie shop, my heart went into overdrive. He paused, with his hand on a bag, and looked up at me. “Alright, Sweet Pea... your heart's going to escape your chest, so I know there's something you don't want me to see in here. Did you and Ali go to the toy store or something? Buy a new toy? You sure I can't take a look-see?” I couldn't help but chuckle at the glint in his eyes, and that officially defused the situation. “No, you ass. It's my lingerie.” Then I mumbled grumpily, “Not like I'd know what to do with a damn toy if I had one, anyway.”

            I guess I must have mumbled that louder than I thought, because Peter's breathing hitched, and my face instantly flamed scarlet. I plopped down on the bed and hid my face in my hands, mumbling through them, “There's no way I can get you to forget what I said, is there?” A cool hand pried my wrists away gently, and deep crimson eyes met mine. They were rich and swirling, full of emotions, but not one of them was mischievous or teasing. “I'm sorry that I can't forget it, because you're obviously embarrassed, but I promise I will never use the information against you. Can I ask you a question?”

            I bit my lip and nodded, and he sat near my knees before saying softly, “It's kinda hard not to see that you and Edward are having problems. Is that part of it? That you don't feel ready?” I snorted and shook my head, “Just the opposite, I'm afraid. He won't even kiss me, and it makes me feel like I'm a pathetic loser who can't interest her boyfriend.” He scowled deeply and played with the hem on my capris, “He's an idiot. If he can't see what an utterly captivating creature you are... if he doesn't drop to his knees and beg you to let him worship your every delicious curve and dip... well then he's completely lost his mind, and he doesn't deserve you.”

            Longing and desire rose inside me rapidly, and I froze at his words. Was that how Peter saw me? Was he insinuating that he wanted to worship me? I didn't have time to contemplate it, because just then, Rose walked into the room with a knowing look. “Ali called and said you might want some female help with the rest of your bags?” I nodded, and Peter stood up. He gave me one last look as he said, “I meant what I said, Bella. Good night.”

            I let out a huge breath when Rose gave me the signal that we were clear, and she raised an eyebrow at me. I shook my head and whined, “Help.” She chuckled as she dumped my lingerie on the bed, “Talk while we fold, Sweety.” I told her about what I said to Edward, how I felt after, and how I feel every time I'm near Peter. Then I told her what Jasper said, and what Peter said right before she walked in. Her smile got wider with each new piece of information, but when I told her about my feelings around Peter, her eyes got as big as her smile.

            When I was done talking, she just stared at me for a minute like she was waiting for me to have an epiphany of some sort. When it was clear to her that there wasn't one coming, she said, “Close you eyes for me. I'm going to ask you a few things, and I need you to promise not to think. No thinking. Just answer right away with the first thing that pops out.” I nodded and closed my eyes, and she said, “Peanut butter,” to which I automatically replied, “Reese's Cups.”

Rose: “Jeans.”

Me: “Comfortable.”

Rose: “Cherries.”

Me: “Yum, chocolate.”

Rose: “Sex.”

Me: “Taboo.”

Rose: “Longing. Desire.”

Me: “Dreams.”

Rose: “Dreams.”

Me: “Peter.”

            There was a split second before my brain caught up with what my mouth uttered, then my eyes shot open as my hand slapped over my mouth, and I shook my head furiously. She sat silently, and I whispered, “Oh, God, Rose. He makes me feel... he's not supposed... it's not... shit.” She smiled and said, “Do you see it now? Because I definitely saw it between the two of you when I walked in, and from what you said, he sure as hell wants to be the one to show you what it's supposed to feel like. That man has it bad for you, Sweety, and he seems to me like just the one to give you the passion and desire that you crave in a relationship. Do you see Edward caving and giving you anything you asked for? Is he here fighting for you or your love? Compromising with you on  even one point that you made to him?”

            I shook my head and whispered sadly, “No. He's in Alaska. Isn't it too soon, though, Rose? I can't just bounce from one boyfriend to another... it's not me... and who's to say Peter isn't just looking for a fling?” She huffed and shook her head, “If that's all he was looking for, he would have given up already, Bella. People, especially vampires, don't hang around and wade through complicated shit for a fling. The very definition of one for vampires is a quick and meaningless romp for fun. And the look I walked in on? That said a hell of a lot more than 'fling', Sweety. That was the look of a man who was more than willing to back up his words with some serious action.” She shook her head and grabbed my hand gently, then continued, “As far as if it's too soon or not, only you can answer that. Answer me this, though. How long have you been holding onto a stagnant relationship, hoping and praying for a small amount of affection, when you knew deep down it would never happen? Hasn't it been long enough? Don't you deserve to be loved like the woman in you craves? Not only for your heart and soul, but for your body also?”

            I thought about that while Rose and I filled my lingerie drawers with my new purchases. She was right. I knew she was, but I couldn't move on before I finished things with Edward. It didn't feel right. That night as I soaked in the tub, I vowed to finish things with Edward and move on with my life. I deserved to be loved fully... dare I say even worshiped by the one I loved... and I was hopefully going to have that, eventually.

            The next morning, on my walk to the main house, I stopped short at the edge of the clearing to see Jazz and Peter play fighting in the back yard. Both of them had their shirts off, and when Alice called “time” I saw the scars that littered Peter's arms, chest, back, and abs. The way they scattered and connected in places looked like armor for a god. He was spectacular, and I couldn't help the large wave of need, desire, and passion that rolled through me. Jasper's head shot in my direction, and I coughed as I averted my eyes from Peter's. All Jasper said in response was, “Interesting,” as Alice pulled me over to sit with her.

            I knew it was a bad idea for me to watch as they started fighting again, but I never expected my reaction when Jasper had his teeth poised at Peter's throat. I screamed and dashed off my place on the porch steps, only to be caught by Alice. I thrashed in her arms until I heard Jasper say from in front of me, “Sug, look at me. Isabella... look at me, now.” My eyes shot to his, and he said softly, “Captain's fine, Sug. I wouldn't hurt my brother. It was only play fighting, remember? Look. See, he's fine. I'll take you over and you can look for yourself.”

            My eyes scanned Peter frantically, and even though he was giving me 'my smile', I couldn't get myself to calm down yet. My hands skimmed over every inch of visible flesh as I looked for any indication of him being harmed, and Peter cooed to me the whole time to let me know he was wasn't hurt. When my eyes and hands finally stopped, Peter brought them to his lips and and kissed each finger as he said, “I'm so sorry we scared you. He didn't hurt me, Sweet Pea, I promise.” He pulled me into his arms, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw our family watching us. I ducked my head and apologised for freaking out, but Carlisle gave me a  smile I didn't recognise as he said, “It's understandable, and you have no need to apologise for that, Bella. Esme would have done the same thing if I had been in Peter's position.”

            I knew between the look and his words, that Carlisle was trying to tell me something, but my brain was just too frazzled to try and work it out right now. I think Ali understood, because she said soothingly, “Come on, Bella. Let's get you something cool to drink, and I think Esme put your breakfast in the warmer.” She tried to pull me away from Peter, but I started panicking, and Jasper said seriously, “Mary Alice. Stop, before she has a panic fit and he attacks. Look at her and think about what just happened.” Alice's eyes went wide as she immediately halted, then she smiled at me and said, “Come on... Peter will come with us, so don't worry.”

            I was able to calm down some as I ate, and though I felt really bad for flipping out on everyone, I couldn't help but stick a little closer to Peter for the day. He didn't seem to mind, and even indulged my craziness by giving me reassuring touches and looks when someone got a little too close to him or I would get tense. By the end of the day, I thought I was going nuts, and finally asked Carlisle if he would walk with me back to the cabin. He agreed, and soon we were walking out the door together... but not before Peter put his number in my phone and whispered, “Call or text me, no matter when it is, if you need me. Even if it's just to look me over again and make sure I'm alright. You aren't crazy, Sweet Pea. It's a natural instinct.”

            On the way to the cabin, I already felt jittery, and begged Carlisle, “Please, tell me how to make it stop. I feel like I'm going crazy. One play fight, and I can't be away from him? I've seen Em and Jazz play fight tons of times, and it never effected me like this. I'm serious, Carlisle, I'm on the verge of running back to him right now, just to make sure he's okay.” Carlisle looked at me curiously, like he was studying me for some reason, then said, “It won't go away until you've checked every inch of his skin, Bella. I thought you would have already known this, though. Did Edward not explain that part to you?”

            I shook my head, “What part? Edward never explained anything to me. Just told me I was his mate, and that was that. Every time I tried to ask anything about vampire nature or mating, he'd either tell me it didn't pertain to us until after I was changed, or change the subject. Well, I figured out recently that he couldn't be my mate, but the rest hasn't changed. Now, please... what the hell is going on with me?” Carlisle chuckled, then said, “Think about how you felt this morning, Sweetheart, and ask yourself what made you fear for Peter. Think about how you feel whenever you're around one of us, then think about how you feel when he's around. Why would you need to go back to him to make sure he's okay, Bella? Why does a touch or look from him calm you? Where have you seen that before? When you have the answers to these questions from your own mind, then you will know what to do.”

            Carlisle left me at the door to my cabin, and I immediately stripped and got into a steaming bath to think. As I laid in the tub I thought back to Carlisle's questions and my reactions today. Why did I feel the need to run to Peter when I saw Jasper's bared teeth at his neck? Because I couldn't stand the thought of him being hurt, or worse... killed. The mere thought of it made me want to scream from the ache in my chest.

            How did I feel around the others, and how did I feel around Peter? Around the family, I feel happy and loved by them. Around Peter, I feel... God, I feel so much all wrapped up together. Back to that later. Where have I seen a touch or look from one lover to another be calming, and why would Peter's touch be the same? Well, the first part is easy enough. Alice and Jasper... but he's using his power, right? No, that's not right. Ali said he doesn't use his power on her unless it's an emergency, and he does the calming touch thing all the time when she gets overly excited. And it's happened with Em and Rose, as well as with Carlisle and Esme. Carlisle and Esme... Em and Rose... Ali and Jazz...

            That's when the truth hit me like a freight train, and everything fell into place piece by piece. I gasped and shot out of the tub, grabbing my phone and hitting the button before I could even get the towel around me. “Can you come to the cabin to talk?” He responded immediately, “I'm on my way.” I hurried to dry off, and just as I got my robe tied, he was knocking on the door. I dashed to the door, and as soon as I saw him, I started looking over him again, even as I pulled him inside. He cupped my cheek as soon as the door was closed, then placed his forehead against mine. “I know you're edgy, Sweet Pea, but I'm really okay. You can check me over to your heart's content, but only after we talk.”

            I shook my head to clear it, then said, “Sorry. I know I seem like a crazy woman right now. Carlisle talked to me on the way home, and asked me to think about a few things. He told me the answer to my questions was why I felt like running back to you as soon as we left. I figured it out... I think.” Peter led me to the couch, then sat down next to me, keeping my hand in his. “Talk to me. Tell me what you think, and I'll answer you honestly.” I took a shaky breath, then said, “First, when you said what you did last night... you weren't just telling me why Edward was an idiot. You were telling me what you would do, weren't you?” Peter looked deep into my eyes and nodded silently.

            After a second, I said, “And the look in your eyes... there so much, and I feel like I can see into your soul. That doesn't happen with anyone else.” Peter shook his head no, but still kept eye contact. “Then there's the need to make sure you're safe, unharmed... and the feelings I get whenever you're near. You know... have known... but you weren't going to tell me. You wanted me to figure it out in my own time.” Peter nodded again, then said, “I knew you weren't ready for me. You need time, and I am willing to give you as much as you need, even if it takes a century for you to be ready for more with me. You need to find out who you are again, and I want you to do just that, so I can get to know who you really are. Yes, I knew just before you walked into the house that morning we met. I couldn't help but want to see you, even when I knew I couldn't be with you.”

            I shook my head, then said softly, “I've never felt how I do when I'm near you, but I need you to understand that I can't let myself think of something happening between us, until after I finish things the right way with Edward. We left so many things up in the air, Peter, and I just wouldn't feel right about starting something with you before he and I ended it for good.” Peter cupped my cheek and whispered, “I fully understand, Isabella. I would wait for you until the end of time itself, if I had to. Does that mean we can't be friends, though? I want to get to know you, even if I can't be with you yet.” I giggled and nodded, “Friends seems kinda cheesy, but yeah, we can be friends until then.”

One Month Later

            It had been a month since my revelation that Peter and I were true mates. A month since I had started calling Edward, and a month with no answer. You'd think that if he truly wanted to be with me, he'd have at least called me to tell me he was alive... but nothing. No phone call, text, letter, or even a message relayed through one of the family. Carlisle had even called his cell phone, but he hadn't answered or called back. I was ready to give up on trying.

            The time getting to know Peter had been really good, but the need for each other... just to feel each other... had been steadily growing. At first it was just the small brushes of his fingers against my cheek or neck, but somewhere along the line it had grown to him kissing my palm and wrist, standing close enough in front of or behind me that his scent would surround me, and whispering things in my ears that would instantly have me wet and aching with desire for him.

            Even Carlisle and Esme had asked me at one point on the day of the month mark, why Peter and I hadn't given into our mating instincts yet. I sighed and said, “I want to... hell, we both do, so much... but I just feel this need to have things concrete and finished with Edward before I move forward. I don't want to have Edward show up down the road and think I'm still going to be waiting in the wings for him, and I couldn't stand it if not finishing things put doubts into Peter's head. He needs to know I'm truly commiting myself to him, and I can't do that if I don't tell Edward it's over face-to-face.”

            They both smiled sadly at me, then Esme hugged me to her and said, “We understand, Darling, but what about your needs? Edward has not attempted contact once in this past month, Carmen and Eleazar said he left only a week after arriving, and no one even knows if he plans to return. How long will your life be put on hold for him? How long will your happiness have to do with what Edward decides? You may have found yourself over this past month, but can you see he's still controlling your life by you waiting to speak face-to-face to end things? What if he never comes back, My Darling? When will you finally be free of him? You deserve to be happy and with your mate, no matter when Edward decides to speak to any of us.”

            I knew she was right... they all were. They had tried to get me to see it before, but I wasn't willing to see it until now. “I don't know what to do, Momma. Can I really say something like that over the phone on a message? Just tell him that it's over and I'm not waiting around for him screw with my head more?” Carlisle hugged me to him, “Yes, My Daughter... that's exactly what he needs to hear, and the only way available to do it. You need to be free of him, once and for all, and this is the only available option. Just think about it, Bella. We only want you to be happy, and that won't truly happen until you connect with your mate.”

            Once they had left the cabin to hunt, I made the phone call to Edward, ending things through the message, and decided to take a long bath. The steaming water enveloped me, and my eyes fluttered closed as I thought about Peter's words to me earlier that morning. “I can smell your arousal, Isabella... I can feel it inside me. It calls to me, begging me to sate your every desire.”  He was standing with his front flush with my back, pressing me gently against the sink counter in the kitchen, and his lips trailed to the soft spot behind my ear. “Fuck, your scent is making me ache for you. I want to kiss you... unleash every bit of my desire for you... make you feel how much I need you. My mouth waters to taste your sweet nectar as you scream my name in ecstasy... my fingers twitch to tug on your nipples every time I see them harden, and ache to bury themselves deep inside your heat. My body... Christ, you have so much power over my body, Isabella. I want to feel your warmth wrapped around my cock... need to hear your moans and whimpers as we move together... and would beg to feel your walls clamping down on me as you cum.”  

            I whimpered loudly as he nipped the soft spot below my ear, my plea for him to do just that on the tip of my tongue, then he groaned and told me he needed to leave before he threw the boundaries out the window and took me against the wall. I was so close to begging him, pulling him to me and kissing him with everything in me, but the thought of being with him before I finished things with Edward stopped me... for about the millionth time.

            As I laid in the tub, Peter's words kept flowing through my mind, and I found myself imagining what it would be like to finally give in to our instincts to start our mating season. My hands started ghosting temptingly over my body, and the thought of Peter touching me found one hand teasing my nipples, as my other slipped between my slick folds. I whimpered at the feeling of finally giving myself an outlet for all of the sexual tension, and circled my clit lightly while pinching one of my nipples.

            My back arched as a gasp slipped from my lips, and the image of Peter's fingers replacing mine had me moaning, “Unngh... more...” The hand on my breast gave a gentle tug to each nipple, then slipped down passed the fingers that were swirling against my bundle of nerves. I cried out as I thrust one finger -then two- inside my core, and knew it wouldn't take long for me to find release. My hands worked faster, and I could hear the water sloshing against the side of the tub, but my mind was filled with Peter. I gasped as I changed the angle and spread my legs wider, letting them fall open, then cried out as I thrust my fingers hard and pinched my clit. My orgasm crashed over me in waves as I cried out, “Fuck... Peter! Oh, God, yess...”

            The images faded when my breathing calmed, and as I stepped out of the tub, I heard a floorboard creak. I pulled my satin robe on over my wet body, not even taking the time to dry off, slipped my phone in my robe pocket, and opened the door to find Peter pacing just outside the open master bedroom door. His eyes shot up to mine without unfisting his hands from his hair, and he whimpered as he took me in from head to toe.

            In the next second, Peter had me pinned against the wall and was almost growling in a desire-fueled tone, “I was waiting for you out in the living room, but then I heard your whimper. I thought something might be wrong, but then when I got here, I heard your moan... Jesus, your sounds, Isabella. Do you know how badly I wanted to be the one in there, making you moan and whimper? How much I ached for it to be my fingers inside you while you cried out my name? Fuck, I've never been as turned on as I am right this second.”

            Without another word, Peter pulled my hands up between us, then slowly took my fingers and wrapped his lips around them. We both groaned at the action, and instantly I was aroused beyond belief. I knew my arousal would be soaking my thighs in seconds if he kept it up, and I found myself whimpering, “Please... Jesus, Peter... Touch me, kiss me. I thought it would lessen the tension, but it only made my need for you more intense.”

            Peter slowly released my fingers as he stared into my eyes, and after I watched him give my fingers one last lick, he whispered, “Thank God,” and leaned in to capture my lips with his. After sucking my bottom lip between his teeth, he gently scraped them along it, then laved the slight sting with his tongue. I groaned as my hands shot into his hair, and felt him pressing me further into the wall as his hands went to my barely covered ass to pull me higher. My legs automatically wound around his waist as his tongue wove with mine, and I whimpered loudly as his delicious taste flooded my senses. He moaned in response, and I felt one of his hands leave my ass to slowly glide up the underside of my knee and back of my thigh.

            Then I heard a voice I had never thought I'd hear again. My kiss with Peter broke instantly, and both of our heads shot in the direction of the sound. There stood Edward, his eyes black with anger, and a female human standing with her arm in his. “Would either of you like to explain?” Peter slowly let me down, knowing that I needed to deal with Edward, and whispered for only me to hear, “I'm right here with you, My Angel.”

            I slowly walked to Edward, looking from him to the female, but stopped when I came about five feet from him. I could easily make out his scent blowing in from the front door, but what caught me by surprise, was the fact that I could smell the overwhelming scent of her and sex lingering and mixing with his. “Funny you should ask that, seen as you show up here without any fucking contact for a month, stinking of sex and her.” Her eyes narrowed, but I was beyond pissed. “Don't even think about it. Did he tell you that he's been seeing me for over 2 years, or that he called me his mate? Did he tell you that he asked me to marry him more than once? What about that he never let me end things, nor did he try to end them? I finally had to tell him it was over between us, just tonight, on a fucking phone message because he wouldn't answer my goddamn calls. Did he tell you I was his singer? That I was just a toy he could control? That he was stringing me along to keep my precious blood near him? Take a good look at his eyes, Honey. That deep-void black? It's there for a reason.”

            I turned my attention back to a growling Edward and said, “Don't you come into my house after a month of me begging you to talk to me, to finish this between us, wreaking of sex with her, and expect me to just fall back into your arms. You don't get to be pissed at me Edward. So you busted in on the very first kiss I had with my mate... my true mate. Fuck you for thinking you could have your cake and eat it too. I'm not your little human toy, Edward, and I know about how mating works now.”

            Then something flashed in his eyes, and I knew. He had known all along that I was Peter's mate... had read it from him the instant he was in range. Then, instead of owning up to his shit, he chose to leave and keep me feeling too guilty to be with my mate. He didn't think I would ever go through with breaking things off over the phone, and knew I wouldn't be with Peter until it was ended. “You knew I was Peter's mate... you lying piece of shit.” I pulled out my phone, and instantly Peter had me pulled behind him as Edward made to lunge at me. Carlisle's voice sounded on the other end, and I said, “Come to the cabin, now... everyone.” He responded, “We're less then 30 seconds out. Alice informed us.”

            I flipped my phone shut and stared at a glaring and livid Edward. “Not liking the fact that every one of them are going to see you for the rotten filth you really are? Too fucking bad. You did this by screwing me over to begin with, Edward. If you'd have just ended it before you left, or even let me end it soon after, none of this would be happening.” I noticed the blue top and kitten heels that the female was wearing, and snorted, “Word of advice, Honey. He likes three or four colors, with slight variances, and I had that exact same top and heels. They were a gift, weren't they? He'll suck you dry of everything that makes you you, if you don't get out in time. Has he started with the changes in your diet yet? That's step two, you know... and step three is slowly starting to dictate who you see and what you do. If you get that far, I really feel sorry for you. Not only will your friends slowly filter out of your life, but he'll dictate the time with your family, too.”

            I saw her eyes widen with a hint of recognition, and asked Peter, “Her scent... is the base makeup similar to mine?” He nodded and said, “He used you to get over his blood lust, so he could be with her.” It all fell into place then, and I sneered, “You were... oh, God! All of the shit you put me through... you were slowly changing me into her. She's your singer, too, but she's your mate. It all makes so much sense now. You couldn't very well be with her, so you used me as a test flight. Better to kill me if you screw it up, hmm? You fucking bastard!”

            By that time, all of the family had heard my rant, and seeing the human next to him, Carlisle inhaled deeply. Edward's head whipped around, and Carlisle's eyes turned black with rage as he said in a menacing voice, “Leave, and don't come back. Your inheritance from your parents will stay in the account, but you are now cut from any and all Cullen funds and privileges. Be lucky that's all I'm doing, because I could have your head as the leader of this coven, for toying with a human. You broke vampire laws, Edward. Don't try going back to the Denali, because they will be informed as soon as you are off the property. You have 30 minutes to gather your things, because that is the only safety net you get. After that, Isabella's mate will have every right to take your head for using her in such a manner.”

            Edward's eyes went wide with shock and horror, and Peter smirked, “Tick tock, Edward.” That got him moving, and he suddenly had the female in his arms as he rushed out the door. I let out a heavy breath, then Jasper gave Peter a look, “You good, Captain?” Peter nodded, “It's Isabella's choice, Major. I won't take it from her.” I looked between the two of them, then said, “He's not worth killing. I say between Ali and Peter we have a good basis on how to mess with his head, and can find him a few times over the next few years to scare the shit out of him. Let my whims dictate his life for a bit to make him see the error of his ways. After that, I don't want to have anything to do with him.”

            Alice beamed at me, Peter and Jasper looked too eager to put my suggestion into action, and Emmett was sprouting off about torture tactics. Rose just shook her head at him, and Esme and Carlisle gave me a proud smile. After a few minutes of everyone making sure we were okay, Carlisle suggested, “I think it's time that we leave these two to have some time alone. Peter, Bella... we will make sure Edward is gone within the time limit set, and I will take care of the financial aspects.” Peter nodded, and after everyone other than Carlisle and Jasper left, he said, “Carlisle, having him think you plan to put in a call to the Volturi about the situation... that would be better suited than us tracking his whereabouts for the next however long. He's still on the run, and we don't have anything to do with him any longer. If your decision is solid enough that Alice happens to get a vision -say of Aro sending Demitri to track Edward- well, all the better.” Jasper smirked, “Good one, Captain,” and Carlisle nodded, “It'll be taken care of. You just concentrate on my daughter and cementing your bond.”

            Once everyone left and the doors were closed, Peter pulled me into his arms and buried his face in my neck. His words were mumbled, “How are you doing?” I chuckled, let a breath of relief out, and said, “Better than good. I'm free of him, Peter. We never need to worry about him coming back, and we can finally be together. I can be a good mate to you now, with nothing hanging over me.” He leaned back enough to tilt my chin up, then looked into my eyes and said softly, “You were never anything but a good mate, Isabella. Yes, I hated that I couldn't be with you, but I knew you didn't want the thought of him hanging over us. You are worth waiting for, and I would have waited until the world fell away, if that's what it took. Now that he's out of our lives, though, where do you stand?”

            I wove my fingers in his hair, pulled him down to my lips, then whispered against them, “I want you. I want you to make love to me... and I think you should start backing up all your words from the last month with actions.” He groaned and captured my lips, immediately deepening the kiss, and lifted me to wrap my legs around his hips. I didn't even realise we had moved until Peter was turning down the bed and laying me gently against the pillows.

            He moaned and pressed his hips against mine, letting me feel his need for me, and I whimpered as I felt him undoing the tie to my robe. He broke the kiss and fished our phones out of our pockets, set them on the nightstand, then sat back on his heels. He groaned as he peeled the fabric away, then traced his fingertips down the center of my chest, “So sexy... and bare... Christ, that's erotic.” My back arched slightly to feel more of his touch as my breathing hitched, and Peter hummed and leaned in to flick his tongue against the underside of my breast. He nipped and licked, making a soft cry of pleasure leave my lips, and then he hummed, “Mmm, so sweet. Are we sensitive here, Kitten? Do you like when I nip here?” He nipped the side swell, making me moan, then scraped his teeth along my nipple and said, “Or does that feel better?”

            I whimpered and fisted my fingers in his hair again, arching my back as I tried to pull him closer, “Fuuck, Peter. So good... more. Please, I need you.” He lavished both of my breasts with attention, making me just about insane with need, until I finally cried out, “Peter, please... I'll die of this need if you don't touch me soon.” With that, he inhaled deeply, his eyes darkened to a beautiful merlot color, and he growled as he kissed and licked his way down my abdomen.

            When he finally reached my core and spread me wide for his viewing, his growl changed to the sexiest growl/purr combination, and my arousal and wetness instantly doubled. His eyes shot to mine, darkening even more, and it only made my arousal spike higher in return. I whimpered and arched, needing him with a fierceness I could have never imagined, and Peter made one long lick up my core before he said in a voice that oozed pure sex, “Fuuck, Kitten. You're drenched for me. You like it when my animal comes out, don't you?” I nodded and whispered hoarsely, “Please...”

            Peter needed no other invitation, and placed one hand just above my mound as he made his second long lick. I cried out as my hands tightened in his hair, and he plunged his tongue inside my entrance. He lapped and sucked and licked my core hungrily for several minutes, until I was a mess of constant cries and whimpers, then I felt him slowly slide two fingers inside me. He stilled them as he attacked my clit, nipping and sucking on the swollen nub, then suddenly curled his fingers up. I trembled violently as the sensations washed through me, almost scaring me in their intensity, but Peter's growl/purr of encouragement had me screaming out his name in ecstasy on his next curl/nip.

            When I finally registered my surroundings again, Peter was whispering with each kiss on his way up my body, “So beautiful... delectable... never get enough... my goddess... my sensual siren of a goddess mate.” His nose nuzzled deep into my neck, and his voice was pleading as he settled between my spread thighs and whispered shakily, “Isabella, I need you. Tell me. Please, I need you to say it.” I moaned as his length lined up perfectly with my soaked core, noting he had stripped while I was lost in my orgasm, and caught his eyes as I said, “Make love to me, Peter. I need to feel you deep inside me. Make me yours.”

            Peter and I making love was the single most spiritual event of my life, and I was willing to bet it still would be, many centuries from now. He always managed to touch, kiss, or move just the right way to have me crying out his name, and somehow I seemed to know just how to make him let go for me. The more we explored and teased each other, the more our bodies and emotions seemed to synch. We brought each other to multiple climaxes, and when we finally seemed to slow into a steady rocking at the same time, I happened to be straddling his waist with us sitting up and holding each other.

            My nose nuzzled against his shoulder, my every breath seemed to fill me with his natural scent and  our combined sex, and we rocked deeply into each other. Peter moaned and dropped his head to my shoulder, then kissed his way to my neck. He mirrored my position, burying his face in my neck, and we both whimpered as we neared what promised to be an explosive climax. That's when I heard it... the mumbled voice in my dream that was calling my name out as if it was the answer to life itself. Only it wasn't a dream. It was my Peter, and he was voicing his love for me in the only way he could. I could feel it, deep in my soul, and I reciprocated in the same way, just as the ecstasy washed over us.

            With my arms wrapped tightly around his ribs and hands fisting up into his hair, my neck bared to him as my nose buried into his neck, and my body trembling in his arms, I called out his name. He was my savior and the sweetest torture, my desire and my passion, my future and present, my anchor and my wings... he was my mate and my everything. “Peter! Only yours... God, yes, Peter...”

            We clung to each other for quite a while, our movements slowing gradually to a stop, and yet we still held tightly to each other and just breathed. Peter was the one who finally broke the silence when his trailed his lips along my shoulder as he whispered, “I love you, Isabella.” I smiled into his neck, kissed a random pattern on it, and whispered in reply, “As I love you, my Peter.”

            He gently moved us without disconnecting us intimately, then situated us so I was resting on his chest while he leaned back against the pillows. He brought the blankets to rest at my hips, then started tracing a random pattern on my back. I hummed and kissed over his heart, placed my cheek against it, and he whispered, “I can feel you now... our bond. It's the most beautiful feeling.” I nodded and smiled, “It is. We're one now.” I yawned softly, and Peter kissed my neck as he said, “Rest now, my sleepy beauty. I've kept you awake far past your normal bedtime.” I whispered sleepily, “Worth every second... love you... Peter.” Just as sleep claimed me, I heard Peter's whispered response, “Worth every second and more, My Angel.”

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