Intrigue
by Laura Spudzmom
Chapter 13
“Just a friendly heads up, Major… Your girl’s mental wall just crumbled and she’s back on Alice’s radar.”
“I’d wondered why I hadn’t heard from them…” Jasper mused while handing Bella a cool, damp cloth.
She held it to her face while rinsing the sink, embarrassment rolling off her in thick waves.
“Yeah, well, whatever buffer ya had’s gone now, so brace yourself—or get the fuck outta dodge—‘sup to you.”
Jasper’s eyes narrowed. “You see a threat?”
Peter snorted. “Nah, no threat, but as per usual, they could be a ‘very Brady’ pain in the ass.”
Jasper gusted a sigh. “I need to talk to Bella,” he said while pacing in front of the couch, one hand running through his hair. “I can’t just grab her and go—well, I could, but I doubt she’d appreciate it.”
“I think ya got time for that—couple’a days at least. Good luck.”
“Yeah, thanks,” he muttered, ending the call. He went to pocket the phone and it rang again—Alice… “Shit,” he cursed, silencing the damn thing before shoving it in the pocket of his jeans.
“You wouldn’t have a spare toothbrush or some mouthwash would you?”
“Yeah, bathroom, down the hall, first door on the right.”
“Thanks,” she muttered.
Minutes later, she resumed her seat on the couch, staring at her hands in her lap, her emotions still a jumbled mess. He took a chair across from her and waited.
“I remember,” she said, breaking the heavy silence.
“I kinda figured.”
She met his gaze. “What happened to Alice?”
“She’s still with the Cullens.”
She narrowed her eyes and he rubbed his brow. “We ran our course. We loved each other—still do in a way, but it was time to go our own ways. I wasn’t happy and neither was she.”
“So, have you been playing with me? Have I just been a distraction?” she asked, her upper lip curling back in a sneer as pain and anger seeped from her like a thick, poisonous mist.
He leaned forward, elbows on knees and hands clasped as he stared into her eyes. “No. I don’t see you as a toy or a distraction. Have I given you that impression?”
“You’ve withheld a lot…”
He nodded. “Yeah, I have, but only because I didn’t know what might break you. I thought it best to let things run their course, but the mutt kinda took that option from me.”
She paled. “The mutt…you mean Ja—Jacob Black? Oh god, he was just here…” Her eyes went wide. “He had to have smelled you! He’ll bring the pack!”
He nodded. “I expect they’ll find me eventually, but Black’s no longer a problem.”
“What do you mean?” she whispered, a tremble in her voice as she stared.
“For what he did to you, we fought, I killed him.”
She looked away. “So, you know…” she murmured as shame and worthlessness wrapped her like a shroud.
“Stop it, Bella.” His voice was sharp and she snapped her gaze back to him. “What he did was not your fault. You have nothing to be ashamed of, you hear?” She looked away again and he continued, “It’s okay to feel hurt or violated or pissed—all those emotions are valid, but don’t you dare take what happened to you and carry any shame or blame on your shoulders, because those emotions are not valid.”
She smirked bitterly. “Study some head shrinking over the years, Jasper?”
“As a matter of fact, yes.”
She nodded. “Thought so.” She ran a hand through her hair. “He’s dead, huh?”
“He is.”
She stared at her lap for long moments. “Wow. I’m…not quite sure how I feel about that. I mean, there was a time there when I considered him my best friend. I knew he always wanted more…” She snorted. “After—after Edward left and I lost my memories, he told me we loved each other…tried to play it off as if I’d felt the same for him, but I just never…” She looked up. “It just felt…wrong somehow.
“Now I know why, the lying bastard.”
“He can’t hurt you anymore, Bella.”
She scoffed a laugh and grabbed a tissue, twisting it in her fingers. “No, I suppose not, at least not physically…”
He didn’t know what to say to that. He knew it would take her time to heal, even though the mutt was gone for good. The wounds he’d left behind were deep, and she’d been so wounded already…
“So, where do we go from here?” she mused before meeting his eyes. “So much has changed…”
He rose from his seat and knelt in front of her, tentatively taking her hand. “I know you remember now, but things between us don’t have to change…” He cupped her cheek. “My feelings haven’t changed, Bella. I love you.”
A tear rolled down her cheek and she stood and stepped away, pausing to look back at him as she dropped his hand. “I…need some time, Jasper. I’m sorry.”
He knelt there and watched her leave, and for the first time in his existence, knew what true heartache felt like.
“Just a friendly heads up, Major… Your girl’s mental wall just crumbled and she’s back on Alice’s radar.”
“I’d wondered why I hadn’t heard from them…” Jasper mused while handing Bella a cool, damp cloth.
She held it to her face while rinsing the sink, embarrassment rolling off her in thick waves.
“Yeah, well, whatever buffer ya had’s gone now, so brace yourself—or get the fuck outta dodge—‘sup to you.”
Jasper’s eyes narrowed. “You see a threat?”
Peter snorted. “Nah, no threat, but as per usual, they could be a ‘very Brady’ pain in the ass.”
Jasper gusted a sigh. “I need to talk to Bella,” he said while pacing in front of the couch, one hand running through his hair. “I can’t just grab her and go—well, I could, but I doubt she’d appreciate it.”
“I think ya got time for that—couple’a days at least. Good luck.”
“Yeah, thanks,” he muttered, ending the call. He went to pocket the phone and it rang again—Alice… “Shit,” he cursed, silencing the damn thing before shoving it in the pocket of his jeans.
“You wouldn’t have a spare toothbrush or some mouthwash would you?”
“Yeah, bathroom, down the hall, first door on the right.”
“Thanks,” she muttered.
Minutes later, she resumed her seat on the couch, staring at her hands in her lap, her emotions still a jumbled mess. He took a chair across from her and waited.
“I remember,” she said, breaking the heavy silence.
“I kinda figured.”
She met his gaze. “What happened to Alice?”
“She’s still with the Cullens.”
She narrowed her eyes and he rubbed his brow. “We ran our course. We loved each other—still do in a way, but it was time to go our own ways. I wasn’t happy and neither was she.”
“So, have you been playing with me? Have I just been a distraction?” she asked, her upper lip curling back in a sneer as pain and anger seeped from her like a thick, poisonous mist.
He leaned forward, elbows on knees and hands clasped as he stared into her eyes. “No. I don’t see you as a toy or a distraction. Have I given you that impression?”
“You’ve withheld a lot…”
He nodded. “Yeah, I have, but only because I didn’t know what might break you. I thought it best to let things run their course, but the mutt kinda took that option from me.”
She paled. “The mutt…you mean Ja—Jacob Black? Oh god, he was just here…” Her eyes went wide. “He had to have smelled you! He’ll bring the pack!”
He nodded. “I expect they’ll find me eventually, but Black’s no longer a problem.”
“What do you mean?” she whispered, a tremble in her voice as she stared.
“For what he did to you, we fought, I killed him.”
She looked away. “So, you know…” she murmured as shame and worthlessness wrapped her like a shroud.
“Stop it, Bella.” His voice was sharp and she snapped her gaze back to him. “What he did was not your fault. You have nothing to be ashamed of, you hear?” She looked away again and he continued, “It’s okay to feel hurt or violated or pissed—all those emotions are valid, but don’t you dare take what happened to you and carry any shame or blame on your shoulders, because those emotions are not valid.”
She smirked bitterly. “Study some head shrinking over the years, Jasper?”
“As a matter of fact, yes.”
She nodded. “Thought so.” She ran a hand through her hair. “He’s dead, huh?”
“He is.”
She stared at her lap for long moments. “Wow. I’m…not quite sure how I feel about that. I mean, there was a time there when I considered him my best friend. I knew he always wanted more…” She snorted. “After—after Edward left and I lost my memories, he told me we loved each other…tried to play it off as if I’d felt the same for him, but I just never…” She looked up. “It just felt…wrong somehow.
“Now I know why, the lying bastard.”
“He can’t hurt you anymore, Bella.”
She scoffed a laugh and grabbed a tissue, twisting it in her fingers. “No, I suppose not, at least not physically…”
He didn’t know what to say to that. He knew it would take her time to heal, even though the mutt was gone for good. The wounds he’d left behind were deep, and she’d been so wounded already…
“So, where do we go from here?” she mused before meeting his eyes. “So much has changed…”
He rose from his seat and knelt in front of her, tentatively taking her hand. “I know you remember now, but things between us don’t have to change…” He cupped her cheek. “My feelings haven’t changed, Bella. I love you.”
A tear rolled down her cheek and she stood and stepped away, pausing to look back at him as she dropped his hand. “I…need some time, Jasper. I’m sorry.”
He knelt there and watched her leave, and for the first time in his existence, knew what true heartache felt like.
DISCLAIMER: Twilight and its inclusive material is copyright to Stephenie Meyer. Original creation, including but not limited to plot and characters, is copyright to the respective authors of each story. No copyright infringement is intended.