The Heat of You
by Wizardtho
Chapter 06:
BPOV
It was around 30 minutes after I finished eating that Sue stated, “Bella’s had a very long couple of days, and she would probably like to rest for a bit.”
I smiled at her gratefully, but honestly, I really just wanted to talk to Paul without everyone around. First on the list of questions was why everyone kept looking at him before touching me in any way.
Once I was given hugs from everyone, and the house slowly quieted, I let out a breath. I was still on Paul’s lap under my blanket, but I felt unexplainably comfortable where I was. I could just feel that Paul wouldn’t hurt me. That gave me the confidence to ask, “So… umm… what’s with everyone looking at you before touching me? Don't get me wrong, I'm actually glad people aren't pawing at me, but still...”
He barked out a laugh, then nudged my cheek with his nose when I ducked my head. I looked into his eyes, so he explained, “Remember how I told you my wolf urged me to bite you, and you said you could see him in my eyes right before you told me you trusted me?”
I nodded, so he continued, “That’s one of the things I told you we needed to talk about. When I bit you, it truly was to protect you from them… but it also serves another purpose. I marked you as my lifemate.”
The word lifemate was important. Something Emily had told me once popped into my head, causing me to groan heavily, “Awe, shit.”
Paul’s eyebrows dipped in a scowl, so I let out a breath saying, “Emily… I saw her touching her shoulder… in exactly the same spot as where you bit me. She explained that it was a mate mark. I was worried it would take away her choices, but she explained it to me. Paul…”
I shook my head, sad that Paul had tied himself to a broken girl like me. I whispered my next question, “Why? You knew I was broken… that they had-”
Tears filled my eyes as I looked into his, but he shook his head, “In case you haven’t noticed, Swan, I’m kinda broken myself. Maybe that’s why my wolf was sure it was the right decision. Maybe he thought we could help each other. All I know for sure is this. It was the right thing to do… if only to save you from them. If Emily told you about marking, you know you never have to choose me. You never have to be with me. Hell, you don’t even have to be my friend.”
I shook my head, but when he said I didn’t have to be his friend, I grabbed his face gently, “Paul, stop. Listen. I think I already have. I think that’s what Taha Aki meant.”
Paul gasped, then said as he held my hands to his face, “Okay. I need explanations, Swan. No skipping out.”
I nodded, “While I was in the nightmare -when I was ready to give up- I felt an ache in my shoulder, then looked up and saw a white wolf in the woods. It shook me out of the nightmare enough to follow the wolf deeper into the woods. He sat with me by a pond and explained to me that I was in jeopardy. I had 2 choices. I could either choose you, and fight to come back to you, or I could choose them, and I would never wake up. My heart would fail from the onslaught. I knew I would fight; I could feel your warmth, and Taha Aki said you were still out here fighting for me.”
Paul hummed, but he was listening, so I said, “Then when he disappeared, every time a new missing piece of the past would come up, I didn’t get caught up in knowing how it went. Instead, I fought it to find a way past it… to find where I could feel you most. When I felt your heat, your mark, I would focus on that, and soon the nightmare would end. Then another would take its place.”
Paul wrapped his arms tighter around me in comfort, so I smiled. After a second, I picked at my nails while saying, “Knowing what happened -at least pieces of it- doesn’t change the fact that they broke me, Paul, and I don’t know if that’ll ever change… but I chose you every time I fought a nightmare to come back to you. Let’s just… can we start with the friend thing and go from there?”
I bit my lip, but Paul rested his forehead against mine as he said softly, “You’ve got yourself a deal, Swan. No expectations, and no looming timeframe. If, and this is a huge if… you ever want things to change, you’ll have to be clear and let me know. Until then, we’re just 2 broken people holding each other together.”
I let out a breath, nodded, then asked, “When do you patrol next?”
Paul must have sensed my unease. He hugged me close, then rested his chin against my shoulder. His voice was soft but oddly unyielding at the same time, “As of right now, I don’t. You are the priority right now. When we can get through a couple of days with semi-normal sleep and wake cycles, and you don’t randomly pass out on me, I’ll go back out on patrol. You, Swan, will not be alone when I do. There will always be a wolf with you for your comfort and safety until we kill those bastards. I swore to protect you, and I won’t go back on that promise.”
I nodded, then scooted so I could lay my head on his shoulder. When his arms automatically wrapped around me, I whispered into his neck, “Paul? In case I forgot to tell you, thanks for saving me.”
I lay curled up in his arms for several minutes, then asked softly, “Did anyone go get my things?”
Paul nodded, “Sue did. Sam said your things smelled like the mind reader rubbed himself all over everything, so Sue washed and hung everything but your tanks and underwear. Those things were placed in the top two drawers of the dresser.”
I asked after a second, “Your room?”
He hummed, then shook his head, “Our room… but yes. Charlie mentioned that you probably wouldn’t want to sleep alone with your nightmares. Both my wolf and I agreed that you’d probably still want the warmth we provide for a good while. So, with that in mind, your things were placed in our room. Were we wrong? I can get a spare room made up for you, Bella, if you’d rather sleep alone.”
I shook my head quickly, “NO! No… I was just… clarifying, I guess. I’d rather not be alone if that’s okay. I just… every time I close my eyes, I can feel their hands grabbing at me.”
Paul lifted my eyes to his, then said, “You never need to ask, okay? I know this is new territory for both of us here, but you will have everything you need. If you need my warmth, take it… if you need my arms around you, they’re yours.”
I didn’t know what to say, so I just nodded before laying my head back on his shoulder. His scent was comforting in a way I couldn’t describe, but I would enjoy it for as long as possible.
I must have still been pretty tired because the last thing I remembered was Paul whispering that I was safe in his arms, and I could rest all I needed to.
BPOV
It was around 30 minutes after I finished eating that Sue stated, “Bella’s had a very long couple of days, and she would probably like to rest for a bit.”
I smiled at her gratefully, but honestly, I really just wanted to talk to Paul without everyone around. First on the list of questions was why everyone kept looking at him before touching me in any way.
Once I was given hugs from everyone, and the house slowly quieted, I let out a breath. I was still on Paul’s lap under my blanket, but I felt unexplainably comfortable where I was. I could just feel that Paul wouldn’t hurt me. That gave me the confidence to ask, “So… umm… what’s with everyone looking at you before touching me? Don't get me wrong, I'm actually glad people aren't pawing at me, but still...”
He barked out a laugh, then nudged my cheek with his nose when I ducked my head. I looked into his eyes, so he explained, “Remember how I told you my wolf urged me to bite you, and you said you could see him in my eyes right before you told me you trusted me?”
I nodded, so he continued, “That’s one of the things I told you we needed to talk about. When I bit you, it truly was to protect you from them… but it also serves another purpose. I marked you as my lifemate.”
The word lifemate was important. Something Emily had told me once popped into my head, causing me to groan heavily, “Awe, shit.”
Paul’s eyebrows dipped in a scowl, so I let out a breath saying, “Emily… I saw her touching her shoulder… in exactly the same spot as where you bit me. She explained that it was a mate mark. I was worried it would take away her choices, but she explained it to me. Paul…”
I shook my head, sad that Paul had tied himself to a broken girl like me. I whispered my next question, “Why? You knew I was broken… that they had-”
Tears filled my eyes as I looked into his, but he shook his head, “In case you haven’t noticed, Swan, I’m kinda broken myself. Maybe that’s why my wolf was sure it was the right decision. Maybe he thought we could help each other. All I know for sure is this. It was the right thing to do… if only to save you from them. If Emily told you about marking, you know you never have to choose me. You never have to be with me. Hell, you don’t even have to be my friend.”
I shook my head, but when he said I didn’t have to be his friend, I grabbed his face gently, “Paul, stop. Listen. I think I already have. I think that’s what Taha Aki meant.”
Paul gasped, then said as he held my hands to his face, “Okay. I need explanations, Swan. No skipping out.”
I nodded, “While I was in the nightmare -when I was ready to give up- I felt an ache in my shoulder, then looked up and saw a white wolf in the woods. It shook me out of the nightmare enough to follow the wolf deeper into the woods. He sat with me by a pond and explained to me that I was in jeopardy. I had 2 choices. I could either choose you, and fight to come back to you, or I could choose them, and I would never wake up. My heart would fail from the onslaught. I knew I would fight; I could feel your warmth, and Taha Aki said you were still out here fighting for me.”
Paul hummed, but he was listening, so I said, “Then when he disappeared, every time a new missing piece of the past would come up, I didn’t get caught up in knowing how it went. Instead, I fought it to find a way past it… to find where I could feel you most. When I felt your heat, your mark, I would focus on that, and soon the nightmare would end. Then another would take its place.”
Paul wrapped his arms tighter around me in comfort, so I smiled. After a second, I picked at my nails while saying, “Knowing what happened -at least pieces of it- doesn’t change the fact that they broke me, Paul, and I don’t know if that’ll ever change… but I chose you every time I fought a nightmare to come back to you. Let’s just… can we start with the friend thing and go from there?”
I bit my lip, but Paul rested his forehead against mine as he said softly, “You’ve got yourself a deal, Swan. No expectations, and no looming timeframe. If, and this is a huge if… you ever want things to change, you’ll have to be clear and let me know. Until then, we’re just 2 broken people holding each other together.”
I let out a breath, nodded, then asked, “When do you patrol next?”
Paul must have sensed my unease. He hugged me close, then rested his chin against my shoulder. His voice was soft but oddly unyielding at the same time, “As of right now, I don’t. You are the priority right now. When we can get through a couple of days with semi-normal sleep and wake cycles, and you don’t randomly pass out on me, I’ll go back out on patrol. You, Swan, will not be alone when I do. There will always be a wolf with you for your comfort and safety until we kill those bastards. I swore to protect you, and I won’t go back on that promise.”
I nodded, then scooted so I could lay my head on his shoulder. When his arms automatically wrapped around me, I whispered into his neck, “Paul? In case I forgot to tell you, thanks for saving me.”
I lay curled up in his arms for several minutes, then asked softly, “Did anyone go get my things?”
Paul nodded, “Sue did. Sam said your things smelled like the mind reader rubbed himself all over everything, so Sue washed and hung everything but your tanks and underwear. Those things were placed in the top two drawers of the dresser.”
I asked after a second, “Your room?”
He hummed, then shook his head, “Our room… but yes. Charlie mentioned that you probably wouldn’t want to sleep alone with your nightmares. Both my wolf and I agreed that you’d probably still want the warmth we provide for a good while. So, with that in mind, your things were placed in our room. Were we wrong? I can get a spare room made up for you, Bella, if you’d rather sleep alone.”
I shook my head quickly, “NO! No… I was just… clarifying, I guess. I’d rather not be alone if that’s okay. I just… every time I close my eyes, I can feel their hands grabbing at me.”
Paul lifted my eyes to his, then said, “You never need to ask, okay? I know this is new territory for both of us here, but you will have everything you need. If you need my warmth, take it… if you need my arms around you, they’re yours.”
I didn’t know what to say, so I just nodded before laying my head back on his shoulder. His scent was comforting in a way I couldn’t describe, but I would enjoy it for as long as possible.
I must have still been pretty tired because the last thing I remembered was Paul whispering that I was safe in his arms, and I could rest all I needed to.