The Heat of You
by Wizardtho
Chapter 20:
Bella POV
I took Paul’s hand, then led him inside. He closed the patio door behind him without letting go of my hand. I knew he must be curious, but I didn’t know if I had the words to explain my frame of mind right now.
My human side was still reeling at the knowledge that the Cullens had indeed raped me. My wolf was pacing in my mind, hackles raised, a constant snarl from her filling a part of my mind. I didn’t know if my mental picture of her was what I actually looked like in wolf form, but she was glorious in her fury. Either way, that wasn’t important right now.
What was important was erasing this feeling. I could still feel raspy tongues and cold, hard pain from my nightmare. It felt so real, and I knew Paul was my only escape.
I started the shower, Paul’s hand still in mine, then squeezed it gently before turning toward the sink. I could see the wheels turning in his head as I looked in the mirror, so I whispered as I loaded my toothbrush with toothpaste, “I know you saw. Saw what they did. We knew it was still a possibility, but that doesn’t make remembering that it actually happened any easier. I still…”
My voice cracked, and I shook my head before letting out a heavy breath. “I still feel it. It was so real, Paul. I feel every bit of it, and my safe haven is you. So this is what I need. This, you holding me skin to skin… your heat, your tenderness… I need that right now, Paul. I need your touch to erase everything else I feel.”
Somehow, even with my hitched breaths and wavering voice, I was able to keep my eyes on his in the mirror while I spoke. I saw his features go from curiosity and confusion to understanding and comfort.
As I finally started brushing my teeth, Paul came up behind me to wrap his arms around me, his hands resting low on my stomach. His chin rested on my shoulder as he promised, “I’m here, Bella. Anything you need. I think it would help if you talked me through everything that happened since you woke up. From your side, I mean. I only got what happened when you phased in.”
I nodded but said after leaning a bit to spit my toothpaste into the sink. “That can wait until after our shower. I promise we’ll go over it, but I need this first.”
I patted his hip to have him move, then bent over the sink fully to rinse my mouth out. With a kiss to his cheek, I dropped my robe to the floor. Looking him in the eyes, I nodded, so Paul dropped his shorts to the floor. I led him into the shower after taking his hand again.
Paul POV
My mate needed me. She clearly told me how she felt, and I could feel through our bond that she was telling me the truth. This one simple act was my opportunity to show her just how good of a mate I’ll be to her. She needs tenderness, reassurance, and comfort, so that’s what I’ll give her.
Once in the shower, I turned her to face me, wrapped an arm around her waist, then whispered, “Tip back, Baby Girl.”
She tipped her head back under the spray, so I used my free hand to help make sure her hair got evenly wet. When my hand snuck underneath to make sure her hairline and scalp were wet, her eyes fluttered closed while she let out a hum.
I smiled before saying softly, “Up.” Her eyes met mine, and I could see everything she was fighting to overcome in those ice-blue pools.
I reached for the shampoo, then began lathering her hair, hoping she could feel the love in my touch… could feel it through our bond. Her eyes fluttered closed again as I worked, but when I went to have her tip back again, her eyes met mine. “I… I can feel you. Is that… can that be right?”
I nodded seriously, “You know how you can sometimes sense my moods without me giving any hints? Or how we sort of gravitate toward each other? That’s part of mating. You feel it more strongly now that you’ve phased, but it’s been a part of you since I marked you.”
She nodded, kissed my chest, then tipped her head back while closing her eyes. The process continued while I conditioned her hair, put it up in a clip, then grabbed the poof and her body wash. That’s when my little mate clarified a point she had made earlier.
“No, Paul.” She placed the poof back in its holder, then stepped up flush against me, so that our entire fronts were touching, “Your touch erasing theirs. If that’s too much for you, then tell me.”
I let out a breath, then promised, “I can’t even fathom an instance where giving you what you need would be ‘too much’ for me, Swan. Just... promise me you’ll tell me if I do something wrong.”
She nodded, so I watched her eyes and honed in on our bond while squeezing some body wash into my hands. Her feelings were chaotic and needy, but the instant my hands met the sides of her neck, a sliver of her internal chaos calmed.
Taking that as proof of her claim, I let my hands glide slowly down while rubbing light circles into the flesh. Down her neck, down her shoulders and arms. I laced my fingers with hers for a second, then glided my hands back up the undersides of her arms.
Bella’s eyes fluttered, and the chaos in the bond eased some. My hands settled on her shoulders, and I took a second to massage them a bit. A small smile reached her lips in response, so I leaned in slowly.
I was going to place a kiss on her forehead, but she tipped her face up to mine. Our lips met in a slow, sweet kiss. Neither of us moved to deepen the kiss, just savoring the contact between us for what it was… a recognition that we were here and in this together.
I could feel when our lips parted that her wolf got edgy, so I placed my soapy hands back on her neck, then watched her closely as I slid them down the front of her chest. I didn’t linger, my hands moving smoothly from her chest to her ribs, then down to her abdomen.
She let out a shaky breath, but her eyes never left mine, so I whispered, “Okay?”
She nodded, “Yes. It wasn’t enough, though. I still…”
Understanding dawned on me, so I added more bodywash to my hands, then turned us so the water was at my back, and her back was resting against my chest. I linked her fingers with mine, her hands resting on mine, then rested my lips against my mark, whispering, “You have control. Show me what you need, Baby Girl.”
Bella relaxed completely back against me, then guided my hands, one to rest against the back of her neck, the other to lay above her beating heart. After a second, our entwined hands moved slowly over her flesh before resting once again… this time directly over each breast.
My wolf urged me to speak, to tell her. I kissed her mark -praying I didn’t somehow say the wrong thing- before whispering against it, “You fill my hands perfectly, Bella. I know that’s not what this is about, but my wolf won’t let me go without making this clear to you. Anything they said to make you feel unworthy or anything less than amazing… well, they’re fucking idiots. This, right here…”
I traced the index fingers of our left hands down the valley between her breasts, then settled our hands a bit more firmly against her breasts, “You’re perfect. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, Beautiful. You were made to be my perfect fit -my mate, my match, and at whatever point you choose to make it so… my lover. No one else's.”
I could see a tear rolling down her cheek, but the chaos in our bond eased a decent amount, then she nodded without a word.
Our hands continued to glide over her skin until they came to rest just above her pubic bone. Our hands covered from her belly button to the surprisingly soft triangle of hair covering her mound.
Again, we rested in that position for several minutes. Nothing needed to be said, but I willed my heat to encompass her as I kissed my mark. It did give me an idea, though, so when I sensed she was ready to move on through the bond, I guided her to the shower bench.
After settling on my knees in front of her, I placed more bodywash in my hands, then asked her, “Trust me?”
She nodded without hesitation, so I asked for her foot. Curiosity swam in her eyes, but I said nothing as I placed her foot against my stomach, then began massaging circles up her calf and thigh.
By the time I moved to the other leg, my mate had her eyes closed, and the chaos in our bond was practically gone. I placed her leg down when I was done, then hugged her around the waist while resting my head against her stomach.
Seconds later, I could smell the salt from her tears, but before I could lift my head, she was holding me tight to her, whispering over and over, “Thank you.”
I knew she needed to let it out, so I stayed where I was while gliding my hands from the sides of her knees to the sides of her breasts in a soothing manner.
We ended up staying in that position for another 10 minutes before Bella felt calm enough to end our shower. Thank the ancestors for tankless hot water heaters, because I sure as hell wasn’t making her let me go before she was ready.
Bella POV
I took Paul’s hand, then led him inside. He closed the patio door behind him without letting go of my hand. I knew he must be curious, but I didn’t know if I had the words to explain my frame of mind right now.
My human side was still reeling at the knowledge that the Cullens had indeed raped me. My wolf was pacing in my mind, hackles raised, a constant snarl from her filling a part of my mind. I didn’t know if my mental picture of her was what I actually looked like in wolf form, but she was glorious in her fury. Either way, that wasn’t important right now.
What was important was erasing this feeling. I could still feel raspy tongues and cold, hard pain from my nightmare. It felt so real, and I knew Paul was my only escape.
I started the shower, Paul’s hand still in mine, then squeezed it gently before turning toward the sink. I could see the wheels turning in his head as I looked in the mirror, so I whispered as I loaded my toothbrush with toothpaste, “I know you saw. Saw what they did. We knew it was still a possibility, but that doesn’t make remembering that it actually happened any easier. I still…”
My voice cracked, and I shook my head before letting out a heavy breath. “I still feel it. It was so real, Paul. I feel every bit of it, and my safe haven is you. So this is what I need. This, you holding me skin to skin… your heat, your tenderness… I need that right now, Paul. I need your touch to erase everything else I feel.”
Somehow, even with my hitched breaths and wavering voice, I was able to keep my eyes on his in the mirror while I spoke. I saw his features go from curiosity and confusion to understanding and comfort.
As I finally started brushing my teeth, Paul came up behind me to wrap his arms around me, his hands resting low on my stomach. His chin rested on my shoulder as he promised, “I’m here, Bella. Anything you need. I think it would help if you talked me through everything that happened since you woke up. From your side, I mean. I only got what happened when you phased in.”
I nodded but said after leaning a bit to spit my toothpaste into the sink. “That can wait until after our shower. I promise we’ll go over it, but I need this first.”
I patted his hip to have him move, then bent over the sink fully to rinse my mouth out. With a kiss to his cheek, I dropped my robe to the floor. Looking him in the eyes, I nodded, so Paul dropped his shorts to the floor. I led him into the shower after taking his hand again.
Paul POV
My mate needed me. She clearly told me how she felt, and I could feel through our bond that she was telling me the truth. This one simple act was my opportunity to show her just how good of a mate I’ll be to her. She needs tenderness, reassurance, and comfort, so that’s what I’ll give her.
Once in the shower, I turned her to face me, wrapped an arm around her waist, then whispered, “Tip back, Baby Girl.”
She tipped her head back under the spray, so I used my free hand to help make sure her hair got evenly wet. When my hand snuck underneath to make sure her hairline and scalp were wet, her eyes fluttered closed while she let out a hum.
I smiled before saying softly, “Up.” Her eyes met mine, and I could see everything she was fighting to overcome in those ice-blue pools.
I reached for the shampoo, then began lathering her hair, hoping she could feel the love in my touch… could feel it through our bond. Her eyes fluttered closed again as I worked, but when I went to have her tip back again, her eyes met mine. “I… I can feel you. Is that… can that be right?”
I nodded seriously, “You know how you can sometimes sense my moods without me giving any hints? Or how we sort of gravitate toward each other? That’s part of mating. You feel it more strongly now that you’ve phased, but it’s been a part of you since I marked you.”
She nodded, kissed my chest, then tipped her head back while closing her eyes. The process continued while I conditioned her hair, put it up in a clip, then grabbed the poof and her body wash. That’s when my little mate clarified a point she had made earlier.
“No, Paul.” She placed the poof back in its holder, then stepped up flush against me, so that our entire fronts were touching, “Your touch erasing theirs. If that’s too much for you, then tell me.”
I let out a breath, then promised, “I can’t even fathom an instance where giving you what you need would be ‘too much’ for me, Swan. Just... promise me you’ll tell me if I do something wrong.”
She nodded, so I watched her eyes and honed in on our bond while squeezing some body wash into my hands. Her feelings were chaotic and needy, but the instant my hands met the sides of her neck, a sliver of her internal chaos calmed.
Taking that as proof of her claim, I let my hands glide slowly down while rubbing light circles into the flesh. Down her neck, down her shoulders and arms. I laced my fingers with hers for a second, then glided my hands back up the undersides of her arms.
Bella’s eyes fluttered, and the chaos in the bond eased some. My hands settled on her shoulders, and I took a second to massage them a bit. A small smile reached her lips in response, so I leaned in slowly.
I was going to place a kiss on her forehead, but she tipped her face up to mine. Our lips met in a slow, sweet kiss. Neither of us moved to deepen the kiss, just savoring the contact between us for what it was… a recognition that we were here and in this together.
I could feel when our lips parted that her wolf got edgy, so I placed my soapy hands back on her neck, then watched her closely as I slid them down the front of her chest. I didn’t linger, my hands moving smoothly from her chest to her ribs, then down to her abdomen.
She let out a shaky breath, but her eyes never left mine, so I whispered, “Okay?”
She nodded, “Yes. It wasn’t enough, though. I still…”
Understanding dawned on me, so I added more bodywash to my hands, then turned us so the water was at my back, and her back was resting against my chest. I linked her fingers with mine, her hands resting on mine, then rested my lips against my mark, whispering, “You have control. Show me what you need, Baby Girl.”
Bella relaxed completely back against me, then guided my hands, one to rest against the back of her neck, the other to lay above her beating heart. After a second, our entwined hands moved slowly over her flesh before resting once again… this time directly over each breast.
My wolf urged me to speak, to tell her. I kissed her mark -praying I didn’t somehow say the wrong thing- before whispering against it, “You fill my hands perfectly, Bella. I know that’s not what this is about, but my wolf won’t let me go without making this clear to you. Anything they said to make you feel unworthy or anything less than amazing… well, they’re fucking idiots. This, right here…”
I traced the index fingers of our left hands down the valley between her breasts, then settled our hands a bit more firmly against her breasts, “You’re perfect. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, Beautiful. You were made to be my perfect fit -my mate, my match, and at whatever point you choose to make it so… my lover. No one else's.”
I could see a tear rolling down her cheek, but the chaos in our bond eased a decent amount, then she nodded without a word.
Our hands continued to glide over her skin until they came to rest just above her pubic bone. Our hands covered from her belly button to the surprisingly soft triangle of hair covering her mound.
Again, we rested in that position for several minutes. Nothing needed to be said, but I willed my heat to encompass her as I kissed my mark. It did give me an idea, though, so when I sensed she was ready to move on through the bond, I guided her to the shower bench.
After settling on my knees in front of her, I placed more bodywash in my hands, then asked her, “Trust me?”
She nodded without hesitation, so I asked for her foot. Curiosity swam in her eyes, but I said nothing as I placed her foot against my stomach, then began massaging circles up her calf and thigh.
By the time I moved to the other leg, my mate had her eyes closed, and the chaos in our bond was practically gone. I placed her leg down when I was done, then hugged her around the waist while resting my head against her stomach.
Seconds later, I could smell the salt from her tears, but before I could lift my head, she was holding me tight to her, whispering over and over, “Thank you.”
I knew she needed to let it out, so I stayed where I was while gliding my hands from the sides of her knees to the sides of her breasts in a soothing manner.
We ended up staying in that position for another 10 minutes before Bella felt calm enough to end our shower. Thank the ancestors for tankless hot water heaters, because I sure as hell wasn’t making her let me go before she was ready.