A Soul Darkened
by Laura Spudzmom
Chapter 14:
~Everything Changes~
If you just walked away
What could I really say?
Would it matter anyway?
It wouldn't change how you feel.
~Staind~
When we got back to the castle, I went straight to my quarters. I felt emotionally drained. Shadows that I couldn't explain were overtaking me and I felt that I couldn't escape them. Not the shadows that anyone else could see. No, these were shadows lurking within. Moving to saturate every fiber of my being, heavy with their oppression.
I moved to stare out of the window. I needed to feed. Just seeing the humans milling about in the streets stirred the predators instinct within me and I felt the burn increase in my throat.
Seeing as the hour was too late for a tour group, I knew I would be dining out this evening. I could have waited for someone to accompany me, but I really didn't want anyone along. I needed to be alone with my shadows.
I smirked. Yes. That sounds perfect. My shadows and I would hunt this night. I would allow myself to escape the tight control that I had been constricted under since turning. This night, I would feel the blood not only soothe my thirst; I would feel it coat my skin. I would let it run with abandon and if it ran out, I would find another plaything until I felt sated and satisfied. To hell with being neat and tidy as Demi taught me to be. There was an abundance of blood out there just waiting for me and I would partake with impunity.
My resolution for my evening plans exhilarated me and I moved with haste to exit the castle, cloak on and hood up. I knew that there was no way that I would get away with feeding inside the city of Volterra, so I wasted no time making my way out of it.
I clung to the darkness just as it clung to me, making my way soundlessly through the streets and neighborhoods until I found the city I was searching for. I wasn't interested in finding the dregs and wretches of society this night. No. I was after health and youth and vitality. I would not be merciful either. I wanted them to know what had come for them, to feel the blood race with their fright and adrenaline, sweetening it's taste.
I found them in a park walking hand in hand. They were picturesque and perfect; young and beautiful. They strolled along, whispering words of young love, never realizing that hell was following in the shadows.
I struck quickly, silently, putting them into slumber with just a light pressure on the proper points. It was nothing for me to pick both up and have them in a secluded abandoned building where my pleasure would remain undisturbed.
I woke him first with some light taps to his cheek as I held him up between my body and the wall. He brought his eyes to focus, first on the space around us and then on me. I had dropped my hood to give him the full effect of seeing my eyes in the beam of moonlight that slanted through the broken windows. I knew the moment he registered my red eyes as his heart began to race, the fear taking over his countenance. Slight tremors began to take hold of him and he gasped out. "Who are you? What are you?"
I smiled sweetly at him while placing two fingers lightly over his lips. "Shhh." I wasn't in the mood to answer his questions. He would know soon enough just what I was, right before it was too late.
I leaned in to him and ran my nose lightly up his neck from his collar to his ear, licking at the vein throbbing urgently with his fright and confusion. He smelled delicious, but I knew there was more to be had.
I backed away to look in his face as I ran a fingernail lightly over his pulse point, releasing the barest trickle of his blood. Dipping a finger in it I brought it to my mouth, my gaze locked with his. I saw his eyes widen in horror as his heart picked up speed and his chest and ribs expanded with the breath with which he would try to scream.
He began to struggle fruitlessly as I placed my hand over his mouth and leaned in to suck at his wound. Just as I thought; sweetening by the second.
I felt a smile stretch my lips just before my teeth pierced his skin and the blood began to flow in streams; into my mouth and down my chest. It was warm and rich and pungent and I reveled in it, feeling it flow down my body like liquid silk.
All too soon it was over and I propped his body in a sitting position in the moonlight so that his lover would see it as soon as I roused her.
Two quick taps with the backs of my fingers had her awake and on the verge of hysterics. She screamed and backed away from me, her gaze traveling from me to her dead lover and back. I mentally rolled my eyes. Men were much more fun to play with. No less fear, but without the hysterics and tears. I smirked and added the caveat of 'usually'.
I sighed and gathered all of her substantial hair in one hand wrapping it once and yanking her up to standing. Eyes wide and whimpering, she watched as my fingernail opened two identical gashes on each side of her face. She began to cry in earnest now as I leaned in and licked the blood as it ran.
I turned her to face her lover. "Isn't he beautiful?" She sobbed. I shrugged. "I thought so anyway. Red really is his color."
Her sobbing increased along with her heart rate. "Please, please don't hurt me?" I turned her to face me. "Oh but sweetness, I already have." I leaned in and placed my mouth against the severed artery that was pumping the crimson ambrosia like a river down the bodies of us both; swallowing the flow, taking her life.
Unknown POV:
I had followed her at a distance, curious as to her purpose and destination. She exited the castle and the city of Volterra with single-minded determination and all haste, moving through the shadows with fluidity.
I watched as she stalked what could only be her prey; a young and vital couple so obviously in love. This surprised me. She always chose society's undesirables.
Her strike was lethal and silent and the young couple seemingly disappeared from the park without a trace; to the humans that is.
I trailed behind her to an abandoned warehouse. Entering, I found a perfect place from which to observe her and settled in to wait. I didn't have to for long as I watched her wake and toy with her dinner; first the male then the female.
I found myself frozen in shock at her actions; she obviously reveled in their pain and anguish, bathing herself in their blood. This was no simple feeding. This was something else entirely.
What was going on with her? I had known for the last days that something was bothering her, but this…..What was driving this? An icy dread crept into my consciousness as I contemplated the reasons for her change in demeanor. Was this just a temporary release of tension for her, or a more permanent shift in character?
With those questions plaguing my thoughts, I resolved to wait and watch her more carefully as I trailed her back to the castle.
Bella POV:
Sated and satisfied, I made my way back to Volterra and the castle, hoping that my absence was not yet noted. It would make slipping in and cleaning up much less complicated. I really didn't feel like having to explain or lie about my appearance. It would cheapen my experience of this night and I wanted to be able to savor it; to contemplate it in moments of solitude and relive the absolute rush that it gave me.
I was able to make it all the way to my rooms without encountering a single individual. I smirked. I was almost home free, until I caught the fresh scent of Demetri at the door of my quarters. Was he waiting within? Would I be able to tell him finally? Only one way to find out Bella. With cold dread filling me, I squared my shoulders and entered.
He was there standing by my window, looking very regal in a fresh suit. A suit that I had, at this very moment, decided to rumple by making sure it decorated my floor in the next few minutes.
His eyes darkened when he saw me.
"No need to ask where you've been Cara. Gods, you're drenched in blood."
I walked slowly to him, a smirk on my lips.
"Yes I am my love and it was glorious. You'll have to join me next time."
I ran a finger down his jaw line to his neck and followed it with my lips.
"But you're here now my love and I want you Demi."
I dropped my voice to whisper by his ear.
"I want to feel you fuck me Demi, hard and fast, slow and deep, any way you want."
His eyes were almost black now, nostrils flared slightly, taking in my arousal along with the blood. He groaned and slammed me to the wall, licking some of the blood from my neck.
"Come on Demetri. Fuck me please? I need you."
He grabbed the front of my clothes and tore, shredding them from my body. I stepped out of my shoes as he was ridding himself of his suit. He pulled me close, skin to skin as I wound my arms around his neck and hitched one leg over his hip, kissing him.
Pulling my other leg up around his waist, he pinned me to the wall again holding me there with his body as he guided himself into me and slammed home. He made sure my legs were secure around his waist, and arms around his neck and met my eyes.
"Hang on Cara."
Bracing both of his hands on the wall either side of my head, he began, his pace brutal and I loved it. I screamed out my pleasure as I came for the first time and Demetri never faltered.
My nails raked his back and my teeth sank into his neck. He growled and fucked me harder. He looked feral, his upper lip curled in a snarl, teeth clenched with his effort.
I screamed and panted, meeting his thrusts with movement of my own. It was fast and brutal and I was loving every second of it. I felt another orgasm building and threw back my head and screamed through it.
Panting as he continued his punishing pace, I looked at him. God but he was a gorgeous specimen. I watched as his abs clenched with each thrust, arms flexing as he braced himself.
He locked his gaze with mine and commanded in a growl "Come with me now!" pounding into me three more times before seating himself deeply, head rested on my shoulder as we both rode out our peaks.
Without a word, he carried me into the bathroom and started the shower. Stepping into the spray we watched as rivulets of red ran down our bodies to the drain.
He captured my lips and kissed me long and deep, biting my lips and battling my tongue with his own. He broke the kiss and rested his head against mine.
"Gods I love you Cara."
His hand caressed my cheek as he met my eyes.
"I love you too Demi. I don't know what I would be without you. It scares me to think of it."
He set me back on my feet slowly and cupped my face in his hands.
"You need not be scared Cara. I'm yours just as you are mine."
I smiled but I know it didn't reach my eyes. I knew this because I was feeling so much dread. It was time to tell him. I had to face this, though I didn't want to.
We spent the next minutes tenderly washing each other, then got out and dried and dressed, all the while the cold pit in my stomach growing. His every tender look and touch pierced me through with guilt.
"Demetri, I need to speak with you."
I took his hand and led him into my sitting room. He sat and gave me a serious look laced with confusion.
"What is it Cara? You look as though you're dreading this."
I sat next to him and faced him.
"It's because I am Demi. I don't know how you're going to take what I'm going to tell you and it literally scares the hell out of me."
I pinned him with a steady gaze.
"But I have to. I have put it off for too long as it is."
He nodded slowly. "Alright Cara. I'm listening."
I took a big breath and let it out slowly squaring my shoulders and meeting his eyes as I did so.
"Demetri, when I went to talk to Jasper by myself something happened. Something I wish I could take back. Something that I regret so much."
I watched as his face morphed into a blank emotionless mask with each successive word I spoke. Still he said nothing.
I continued. "I had sex with Jasper. It was only the one time and when I realized what I had done and how I had betrayed you, I regretted it immediately."
He looked away and was silent for some moments.
"Why didn't you tell me immediately Bella? Why did you wait?"
He turned back with a look that could cut diamonds.
"Why did you do it in the first place? Was I not enough for you?"
I reached for him but he quickly stood and paced away from me, hands balled into fists.
"You are more than enough for me Demi! I love you! I was just so confused by my fucked up feelings and emotions and not wanting to face any of it….."
He scoffed. "And I suppose fucking someone else was going to make our situation better? How does that work Bella. Please share with me how fucking some other guy made this better!" He gestured with one hand between us.
I hung my head. "It hasn't Demi, and it was never supposed to. I don't know why I did it. I wasn't exactly thinking about anything when it happened."
He laughed bitterly. "Now that I can believe. You weren't thinking about anything but yourself and what you wanted at the time."
His voice was getting progressively louder as he went on.
"Not about me, that's for certain! The guy who's problem, apparently, was that I loved you too much!"
I was struck dumb to see tears that would never fall there in his eyes.
I choked on my guilt and pain. God I had hurt him so much! I stood to go to him and he held out a hand to stop me.
"No, I don't want your pity or your platitudes. Save all of it for someone else. I don't need it."
He turned and left, head hanging down, closing the door quietly.
It might as well have sounded like a gun shot with all the finality of it. I flinched and fell to my knees, a sob escaping me.
~Everything Changes~
If you just walked away
What could I really say?
Would it matter anyway?
It wouldn't change how you feel.
~Staind~
When we got back to the castle, I went straight to my quarters. I felt emotionally drained. Shadows that I couldn't explain were overtaking me and I felt that I couldn't escape them. Not the shadows that anyone else could see. No, these were shadows lurking within. Moving to saturate every fiber of my being, heavy with their oppression.
I moved to stare out of the window. I needed to feed. Just seeing the humans milling about in the streets stirred the predators instinct within me and I felt the burn increase in my throat.
Seeing as the hour was too late for a tour group, I knew I would be dining out this evening. I could have waited for someone to accompany me, but I really didn't want anyone along. I needed to be alone with my shadows.
I smirked. Yes. That sounds perfect. My shadows and I would hunt this night. I would allow myself to escape the tight control that I had been constricted under since turning. This night, I would feel the blood not only soothe my thirst; I would feel it coat my skin. I would let it run with abandon and if it ran out, I would find another plaything until I felt sated and satisfied. To hell with being neat and tidy as Demi taught me to be. There was an abundance of blood out there just waiting for me and I would partake with impunity.
My resolution for my evening plans exhilarated me and I moved with haste to exit the castle, cloak on and hood up. I knew that there was no way that I would get away with feeding inside the city of Volterra, so I wasted no time making my way out of it.
I clung to the darkness just as it clung to me, making my way soundlessly through the streets and neighborhoods until I found the city I was searching for. I wasn't interested in finding the dregs and wretches of society this night. No. I was after health and youth and vitality. I would not be merciful either. I wanted them to know what had come for them, to feel the blood race with their fright and adrenaline, sweetening it's taste.
I found them in a park walking hand in hand. They were picturesque and perfect; young and beautiful. They strolled along, whispering words of young love, never realizing that hell was following in the shadows.
I struck quickly, silently, putting them into slumber with just a light pressure on the proper points. It was nothing for me to pick both up and have them in a secluded abandoned building where my pleasure would remain undisturbed.
I woke him first with some light taps to his cheek as I held him up between my body and the wall. He brought his eyes to focus, first on the space around us and then on me. I had dropped my hood to give him the full effect of seeing my eyes in the beam of moonlight that slanted through the broken windows. I knew the moment he registered my red eyes as his heart began to race, the fear taking over his countenance. Slight tremors began to take hold of him and he gasped out. "Who are you? What are you?"
I smiled sweetly at him while placing two fingers lightly over his lips. "Shhh." I wasn't in the mood to answer his questions. He would know soon enough just what I was, right before it was too late.
I leaned in to him and ran my nose lightly up his neck from his collar to his ear, licking at the vein throbbing urgently with his fright and confusion. He smelled delicious, but I knew there was more to be had.
I backed away to look in his face as I ran a fingernail lightly over his pulse point, releasing the barest trickle of his blood. Dipping a finger in it I brought it to my mouth, my gaze locked with his. I saw his eyes widen in horror as his heart picked up speed and his chest and ribs expanded with the breath with which he would try to scream.
He began to struggle fruitlessly as I placed my hand over his mouth and leaned in to suck at his wound. Just as I thought; sweetening by the second.
I felt a smile stretch my lips just before my teeth pierced his skin and the blood began to flow in streams; into my mouth and down my chest. It was warm and rich and pungent and I reveled in it, feeling it flow down my body like liquid silk.
All too soon it was over and I propped his body in a sitting position in the moonlight so that his lover would see it as soon as I roused her.
Two quick taps with the backs of my fingers had her awake and on the verge of hysterics. She screamed and backed away from me, her gaze traveling from me to her dead lover and back. I mentally rolled my eyes. Men were much more fun to play with. No less fear, but without the hysterics and tears. I smirked and added the caveat of 'usually'.
I sighed and gathered all of her substantial hair in one hand wrapping it once and yanking her up to standing. Eyes wide and whimpering, she watched as my fingernail opened two identical gashes on each side of her face. She began to cry in earnest now as I leaned in and licked the blood as it ran.
I turned her to face her lover. "Isn't he beautiful?" She sobbed. I shrugged. "I thought so anyway. Red really is his color."
Her sobbing increased along with her heart rate. "Please, please don't hurt me?" I turned her to face me. "Oh but sweetness, I already have." I leaned in and placed my mouth against the severed artery that was pumping the crimson ambrosia like a river down the bodies of us both; swallowing the flow, taking her life.
Unknown POV:
I had followed her at a distance, curious as to her purpose and destination. She exited the castle and the city of Volterra with single-minded determination and all haste, moving through the shadows with fluidity.
I watched as she stalked what could only be her prey; a young and vital couple so obviously in love. This surprised me. She always chose society's undesirables.
Her strike was lethal and silent and the young couple seemingly disappeared from the park without a trace; to the humans that is.
I trailed behind her to an abandoned warehouse. Entering, I found a perfect place from which to observe her and settled in to wait. I didn't have to for long as I watched her wake and toy with her dinner; first the male then the female.
I found myself frozen in shock at her actions; she obviously reveled in their pain and anguish, bathing herself in their blood. This was no simple feeding. This was something else entirely.
What was going on with her? I had known for the last days that something was bothering her, but this…..What was driving this? An icy dread crept into my consciousness as I contemplated the reasons for her change in demeanor. Was this just a temporary release of tension for her, or a more permanent shift in character?
With those questions plaguing my thoughts, I resolved to wait and watch her more carefully as I trailed her back to the castle.
Bella POV:
Sated and satisfied, I made my way back to Volterra and the castle, hoping that my absence was not yet noted. It would make slipping in and cleaning up much less complicated. I really didn't feel like having to explain or lie about my appearance. It would cheapen my experience of this night and I wanted to be able to savor it; to contemplate it in moments of solitude and relive the absolute rush that it gave me.
I was able to make it all the way to my rooms without encountering a single individual. I smirked. I was almost home free, until I caught the fresh scent of Demetri at the door of my quarters. Was he waiting within? Would I be able to tell him finally? Only one way to find out Bella. With cold dread filling me, I squared my shoulders and entered.
He was there standing by my window, looking very regal in a fresh suit. A suit that I had, at this very moment, decided to rumple by making sure it decorated my floor in the next few minutes.
His eyes darkened when he saw me.
"No need to ask where you've been Cara. Gods, you're drenched in blood."
I walked slowly to him, a smirk on my lips.
"Yes I am my love and it was glorious. You'll have to join me next time."
I ran a finger down his jaw line to his neck and followed it with my lips.
"But you're here now my love and I want you Demi."
I dropped my voice to whisper by his ear.
"I want to feel you fuck me Demi, hard and fast, slow and deep, any way you want."
His eyes were almost black now, nostrils flared slightly, taking in my arousal along with the blood. He groaned and slammed me to the wall, licking some of the blood from my neck.
"Come on Demetri. Fuck me please? I need you."
He grabbed the front of my clothes and tore, shredding them from my body. I stepped out of my shoes as he was ridding himself of his suit. He pulled me close, skin to skin as I wound my arms around his neck and hitched one leg over his hip, kissing him.
Pulling my other leg up around his waist, he pinned me to the wall again holding me there with his body as he guided himself into me and slammed home. He made sure my legs were secure around his waist, and arms around his neck and met my eyes.
"Hang on Cara."
Bracing both of his hands on the wall either side of my head, he began, his pace brutal and I loved it. I screamed out my pleasure as I came for the first time and Demetri never faltered.
My nails raked his back and my teeth sank into his neck. He growled and fucked me harder. He looked feral, his upper lip curled in a snarl, teeth clenched with his effort.
I screamed and panted, meeting his thrusts with movement of my own. It was fast and brutal and I was loving every second of it. I felt another orgasm building and threw back my head and screamed through it.
Panting as he continued his punishing pace, I looked at him. God but he was a gorgeous specimen. I watched as his abs clenched with each thrust, arms flexing as he braced himself.
He locked his gaze with mine and commanded in a growl "Come with me now!" pounding into me three more times before seating himself deeply, head rested on my shoulder as we both rode out our peaks.
Without a word, he carried me into the bathroom and started the shower. Stepping into the spray we watched as rivulets of red ran down our bodies to the drain.
He captured my lips and kissed me long and deep, biting my lips and battling my tongue with his own. He broke the kiss and rested his head against mine.
"Gods I love you Cara."
His hand caressed my cheek as he met my eyes.
"I love you too Demi. I don't know what I would be without you. It scares me to think of it."
He set me back on my feet slowly and cupped my face in his hands.
"You need not be scared Cara. I'm yours just as you are mine."
I smiled but I know it didn't reach my eyes. I knew this because I was feeling so much dread. It was time to tell him. I had to face this, though I didn't want to.
We spent the next minutes tenderly washing each other, then got out and dried and dressed, all the while the cold pit in my stomach growing. His every tender look and touch pierced me through with guilt.
"Demetri, I need to speak with you."
I took his hand and led him into my sitting room. He sat and gave me a serious look laced with confusion.
"What is it Cara? You look as though you're dreading this."
I sat next to him and faced him.
"It's because I am Demi. I don't know how you're going to take what I'm going to tell you and it literally scares the hell out of me."
I pinned him with a steady gaze.
"But I have to. I have put it off for too long as it is."
He nodded slowly. "Alright Cara. I'm listening."
I took a big breath and let it out slowly squaring my shoulders and meeting his eyes as I did so.
"Demetri, when I went to talk to Jasper by myself something happened. Something I wish I could take back. Something that I regret so much."
I watched as his face morphed into a blank emotionless mask with each successive word I spoke. Still he said nothing.
I continued. "I had sex with Jasper. It was only the one time and when I realized what I had done and how I had betrayed you, I regretted it immediately."
He looked away and was silent for some moments.
"Why didn't you tell me immediately Bella? Why did you wait?"
He turned back with a look that could cut diamonds.
"Why did you do it in the first place? Was I not enough for you?"
I reached for him but he quickly stood and paced away from me, hands balled into fists.
"You are more than enough for me Demi! I love you! I was just so confused by my fucked up feelings and emotions and not wanting to face any of it….."
He scoffed. "And I suppose fucking someone else was going to make our situation better? How does that work Bella. Please share with me how fucking some other guy made this better!" He gestured with one hand between us.
I hung my head. "It hasn't Demi, and it was never supposed to. I don't know why I did it. I wasn't exactly thinking about anything when it happened."
He laughed bitterly. "Now that I can believe. You weren't thinking about anything but yourself and what you wanted at the time."
His voice was getting progressively louder as he went on.
"Not about me, that's for certain! The guy who's problem, apparently, was that I loved you too much!"
I was struck dumb to see tears that would never fall there in his eyes.
I choked on my guilt and pain. God I had hurt him so much! I stood to go to him and he held out a hand to stop me.
"No, I don't want your pity or your platitudes. Save all of it for someone else. I don't need it."
He turned and left, head hanging down, closing the door quietly.
It might as well have sounded like a gun shot with all the finality of it. I flinched and fell to my knees, a sob escaping me.
DISCLAIMER: Twilight and its inclusive material is copyright to Stephenie Meyer. Original creation, including but not limited to plot and characters, is copyright to the respective authors of each story. No copyright infringement is intended.