Rated M for language,adult situations,and the possibility of sexual situations in later Chapters.Not intended for anyone under 18.
Chapter 6: Time Away
Marcus and Carlisle must have heard Caius in an uproar and came to check on me. They entered my room with my ok and asked me if everything was alright. I told them what happened through my tears and to say they were shocked was an understatement. They were upset by the fact I was hurt by him emotionally rather than physically. Marcus then asked Carlisle to stay with me as he had a few things to discuss with Aro and then they were going to find their idiotic brother and set him straight. When I heard this, I giggled and told him I'd pay handsomely to see the show. As my one dad left to find Aro, the other sat with me curled into his chest with his comforting arms. He held me and let me cry, as he rubbed small circles on my back while telling me everything would work itself out. I desperately wanted to believe him but at that moment I felt that all hope was gone.
I fell asleep feeling safe and didn't wake until sometime later and found Carlisle still with me. He asked if I felt better and I told him: I do thank you but I still feel like my world is falling apart. I don't understand how he can be so loving and carefree one second and be a complete self-centered monster the next.
With that statement made, Carlisle shifted and told me: Bella, it is in our nature to be volatile if we need to be. We do not change the way we feel once we have fallen in love with our mate. That love grows like any other but it also remains as strong as the day it began. Caius is having a difficult time processing his true feelings as his former wife, Athenodora, really hurt and betrayed him. He did love her in his own way and when he admitted his feelings to her, she basically laughed in his face and said she didn't have time for love as it was a game of pain that mortal men played. When told of their impending divorce and her banishment, she realized too late she truly did love him. He retaliated and made it known that the love he once felt for her was gone, never to be regained and she was told never to return or she would be killed. She left and has never been heard from since.
He gave me a few minutes to think about it before he continued saying: My dear girl, you don't realize what you've done to him. That man is totally head over heals in love with you and I surmise; he has been since you waltzed in here almost a year ago. I can honestly say, from a man's point of view and not a father's, he took notice of your sexy little body and your kind loving nature and fell headlong into the abyss of love when you met. He had been alone and miserable and you helped him by freely giving him your love, without any doubt. Now I see him as he really is a kind, loving, and extremely possessive protective man who does love you with every fiber of his being; don't take yourself and your love away from him. He is changing for the better and it's because of you and the deep love you have for him. Sweetheart, he feels that for you.
I was beginning to see the light in the darkness again, thanks to my wonderful and caring "dad", Carlisle Cullen. I began to think that Caius and I could work this out and heal the rift between us.
A few hours after Carlisle went to find Esme, Marcus and Aro paid me a visit. Aro gave me a hug and told me Marcus filled him in on what happened when they paid their brother a visit. Apparently, he wanted to see for himself that I was alright. Then explained: Bella mia, do not agonize over the argument you had with Caius as he is doing enough of it for the both of you. He feels absolutely dreadful for upsetting you the way he did. Marcus and I had a chat with him and told him we were disappointed with his actions. We explained there was no need for him to blow a head-gasket with you and the way he made his feelings known was deplorable. The sadness he caused earlier has made you to begin closing yourself off again. We don't want you to live in a broken state so we have decided to send you home with the Cullen's for a couple of weeks, that way you will have time to think and come back with a clear head.
Aro gave me a smile and Marcus spoke: La mia regazza speciale (my special girl), we told him you were going on vacation to clear your head and think. We also made it known he needed to do the same. When you arrive at the Cullen's home you are to call Aro or myself to notify us of your safe arrival, take this cell to keep in contact with us. Carlisle and family know what is best for you and they won't tolerate any games. We have been assured that Edward will be with the Denali's for the time you are there. We love you, Carlisle and family will bring you back in two weeks so enjoy your time away.
I hugged them both and said I would call when we got to the airport in Seattle, WA. I put the cell Marcus gave me and put it in my purse, packed my bags, and waited for the Cullen's.
Felix took us to the airport in Florence where the jet was ready for us. I sat quietly during our 14 hour flight wondering how my beautiful demon was. Then I thought, does it matter, if he hadn't gone missile then I would have been married to him by now; but as the saying goes shit happens. I decided to enjoy myself while I was in Forks. Let him wonder what I'm doing and with whom. I couldn't help but still be angered with his attitude; but it didn't change the fact that I loved him and it hurt like hell to be away from him.
When we got off the plane at Sea-Tac airport, I pulled the phone out and called 'home'. I told Marcus and Aro we had arrived and would talk to them in a few days. They said to call when ever I wanted and they would keep me informed as to what was happening there. They informed me Caius was not a happy vampire, as he was having a hard time adjusting to my absence. My reaction to that was too bad so sad, serves him right, and I couldn't help but say absence makes the heart grow fonder; I sure hope he finds his heart fast, if he has one. They got a good laugh at this one and told me to have fun. I gave them my love and said we'd chat soon and hung up.
I thought over my conversation with the brothers about Caius and realized I was not happy either. Maybe this time apart will be good for us or it will drive us apart forever. The more I thought about it I decided; I would not allow this to tear us apart. It just might cause him to wake up and decide to fight for what we have, instead of destroying it. Who knows what goes on in his dangerous mind?
While I was soul searching, Jasper kept throwing waves of calm at me, so I wouldn't get agitated. When I had had enough of that, I told him to stop with the mood control thing; it was starting to tick me off. All he could come up with to say was 'sorry Bella, it'll be… never mind'. That kind of reminded me of before my birthday disaster.
As we pulled into the driveway sometime later I asked if Edward will be around. Carlisle then replied, "No, he's in Alaska and was to stay there so you wouldn't be upset, reason being is he still has strong feelings for you and it would only upset the balance of the here and now. There's enough going on where you don't need him adding to the problem at hand.'
We walked into the house I spent so much time at and realized this place doesn't feel like home at all. I missed my room at the castle and everyone terribly and I had only just walked through the door. I was shown to a room on the second floor between Alice and Jasper's room and Carlisle and Esme's. All I wanted to do was fall asleep and not wake up, so I climbed into bed and willed myself to sleep. I must have laid there for hours when Jasper opened the door and asked If he could do anything to help me sleep. I told him he could try and he set me a wave of lethargy and peace that put me out.
I began to dream of my upcoming wedding (?): Eleazar escorted Esme and Carmen to the front rows of the chapel in the castle, followed by the couples of the bridal party except for Aro, the best man. He was positioned by Caius off to the side of Garrett, who was an ordained minister. The couples filed in as follows: Jane & Alec, Corin & Demetri, Alice & Jasper, Chelsea & Afton, Heidi & Felix, Rosalie & Emmett, then my maid of honor, Renata. The music shifted to the ever popular bridal march as it was my turn. I was flanked by Carlisle on my left and Marcus on my right. The three of us slowly made our way down the aisle to the alter, where the man of my dreams stood. Caius.
I woke and sat up in bed. Even seeing him in my dreams hurt, the smile on his face made my heart jump, and the happiness dancing in his eyes made me want to cry. I refuse to give in and call him. I promised my self the only ones I would talk were Marcus and Aro. Why does it have to hurt so much? He hurt me with the things he said about the Cullen family. His shrewd nature frustrates my happiness and contentment, yet he is my weakness. He awakens the animal in me and brings my blood to a boil. He makes me feel raw unbridled passion like no one before him. I can forgive the unscrupulous anger he carries, but why on earth did Athendora have to cause it? Why did she have to be so hateful or was it her nature to hurt anyone she came up against?
I grabbed my cell phone and decided to call Marcus and find out if he was still a spewing volcano. He picked up on the third ring, I asked him my questions and told me: Figlia mia, she was and I surmise still is a deceitful woman. Caius opened his heart to him and she basically threw it in his face. She tried to destroy him and succeeded in the emotional department. He holds distrust for anyone and is fearful of being hurt again. That's why he is what he is. He has only begun to feel again and is on an emotional roller coaster of sorts. As a matter of fact when we informed him of your departure, he closed himself in his room as has not been heard or seen since. He only emerges long enough to feed, and when he's sated retreats into the darkness he has created. With you gone he has no sun, moon, or stars to gaze upon. To him, there is no beauty left here. I really believe he regrets the things he said to cause your pain. Call him in a few days and if he's as hateful as he was before you left then don't make anymore contact until you return home. Have he Cullen's come back with you. I believe Caius would like a word with Carlisle at that time. Oh, don't worry about the pain you feel, it shouldn't get much worse but it will lessen as you get closer to home and will be completely gone when you get here.
We then changed the topic and talked of other goings on and I made sure he would tell everyone hello for me, I miss them, and send my love. I ended the call and went to find some food. Esme walked into the kitchen as I finished washing up my breakfast dishes, I asked her if it would be ok to use Edward's piano. With a smile she told me it quite alright. I warmed up with scales and proceeded to play some Beethoven. She was surprised to say the least that I played so well. She asked if I knew her favorite by Yiruma, which I did and played that as well. Before long, everyone had filed into the room and listened quietly as I let the sounds flowed from my fingertips. I even managed to play Clair de Lune, without crying, before I stopped. To say they were shocked was an understatement. Carlisle asked who taught me to play, I told him Marcus did. I explained how Marcus took to me upon my arrival and asked if I wanted to learn.
They were glad to hear music in the house again; they told me Edward lost interest in playing. Rose interjected by saying his sound was depressing as of late. They all looked at me strangely when I apologized and told me I did nothing wrong to apologize for. They explained that sometimes he got like that but then he'd start playing normally again within a few months.
I got up and followed Carlisle to his office and raided his books. He laughed and asked what I did in Volterra to pass the time. I told him: Well, most of the time I read, which you already knew. I paint, play the piano, and when it's not raining, I'm in the garden taking care of the flowers and bushes. The gardener takes care of the rest, but after I change, he will take over the gardens again.
He asked who taught me to paint and all I said was Caius. He fell silent as he didn't know what to say. When I asked if I could get some brushes, paint, and canvas, he told me to make a list of what to get and the girls would get it for me. I thanked him, excused myself, and went to my room.
I went to find Rose and Esme a couple of hours later with my list of supplies for them to pick up for me. They showed me to a room over the garage with tons of painting stuff and told me to use what I wanted too, so I decided to paint them a portrait of their family as a thank you for my vacation in Forks. I borrowed a photo that they had to go from. I went looking for Jasper as asked him who in the family could build a frame and was surprised to find out that he and Emmett built them for the photo's around the house. All he needed was the size I wanted. He asked what I was planning and I made him promise not to say anything, I then told him what I was up to. He smiled and said it would be his pleasure to help me with it, when my part was done.
During my time at my home away from home, I spent my time reading, playing the piano, and painting. Three days before returning to Volterra, my gift was finished. I waited until the day before, when we were all together to give it to them. I swear to god and all that is holy if they could cry, the house would have flooded. They asked who helped me with it, I told them I painted it and Jasper built the frame. They then asked what the signature VS meant and I explained it was for Volturi Swan, and Marcus sometimes called me that. My big brother, Emmett hung it over the fireplace and Alice took the one that adorned the wall and told me to take it with me to remember where I was from and who my family was. I reminded her they were coming with me and she could carry it.
I hugged them all and went to my room for the last time. I reached for my phone to call home, it rang in my hand, and the caller ID said Caius calling. I said hello and he began talking to me, not yelling, just talking.
When he spoke; he sounded sad, depressed, and very miserable. He opened up to me and said: Isabella, I apologize for the deplorable way I spoke to you and for my overly aggressive actions. I believe humans use the phrase's I cut off my nose to spite my face and I spoke before thinking about what to say. As much as I would like to take back the hateful things I said to you, I can't. For me to say I miss you would be an understatement; I feel lost without you and sometimes the ache in my silent heart, is unbearable. I should have listened when you said the joy of loving someone is heavenly but the pain of losing them is hell alone. I need you to come home so we can work this out. Cara mia, I love you.
Hearing the pain in his voice was enough to bring me to my knees. I told him: Caius, I have already forgiven you for your short comings. You in turn, need to forgive yourself. If you don't, it will be like drinking poison and waiting for death to come. Someone once told me, "Someday everything will all make perfect sense. So for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason." My life never made much sense; I have always felt like I was different from everyone else. When I first saw you, I felt my world was going to spiral out of control and you were the anchor I needed to keep me grounded. You have an aggressive nature and don't like bending your will. My family and I are getting on a plane tomorrow evening and I will see you about 16 hrs later, when I get home. We need to communicate if this is going to work between us. I am not angry by nature but you sometimes bring out the worst in me; as I bring out the best in you. I do love you and we will talk about this when I get there after I get some sleep; if I can sleep.
His response to me was: I understand, you are right and we need to discuss this rationally. I will be glad when you are home. Felix and Demetri will meet you at the airport; they want to see their sister. Everyone here has missed you almost as much as I have.
I finally heard a hint of happiness in his voice and it made me smile. I told him I loved him and ended the call so I could at least try for a few hours of rest before having to pack and flying home. Home, you really don't know how much you can miss something until it's not there. The next morning when I got up I packed and made my way downstairs to see everyone and found Edward in the living room. He was pleasant and congratulated me on my upcoming wedding. He tried apologizing to me several times but I had to tell him it wouldn't change my mind. I set him at ease by reassuring him I haven't been coerced in any way and this was my decision to marry Caius. He said he realized all of this but didn't understand my decisions. So I merely explained it the best way I could by saying: At first my decisions were based on my feelings for you, then they were to keep you and Alice alive, and before I knew it, I was in love with him. I don't know when, I don't know why or how, I just did, and before you ask, the answer is yes Edward, I did and still do love you but it's not the same. I don't know why but we were never meant to be mates, I believe we were only meant to be good friends almost like family. I love all of you and hold a great deal of respect for you as my family.
When the conversation was over I made my way over to the piano. Edward stared at me in awe as I warmed up and the sound morphed into a classic by Bach. When he finally spoke, he asked when I learned to play. I kept playing random tunes and told him Marcus started teaching me just after he and Alice left Volterra. I asked if he saw the portrait above the fireplace. He responded with a yes but didn't recognize the artist. In my response I explained it was one of mine and the VS, is my signature mark. Before he could ask, I told him Caius taught me how to paint.
When he fell silent, I left him to his thoughts and sought out Jasper. I needed some answers and felt he would care enough to not sugar coat this mornings events. I wondered what prompted Edward's return before we left and was hoping Jazz could tell me. I knocked on his door and as he answered the smile that graced his face fell. I told him nothing was wrong and needed some questions answered. He told me he had no idea that Edward was coming home so early or his reasons why. He sent me a short wave of calm and a gentle burst of peace.
I felt relief when the time arrived to leave for the airport and I could only say thank god I was going home. I was going to miss this rainy place but I going to be where I belong; Volterra.
I fell asleep feeling safe and didn't wake until sometime later and found Carlisle still with me. He asked if I felt better and I told him: I do thank you but I still feel like my world is falling apart. I don't understand how he can be so loving and carefree one second and be a complete self-centered monster the next.
With that statement made, Carlisle shifted and told me: Bella, it is in our nature to be volatile if we need to be. We do not change the way we feel once we have fallen in love with our mate. That love grows like any other but it also remains as strong as the day it began. Caius is having a difficult time processing his true feelings as his former wife, Athenodora, really hurt and betrayed him. He did love her in his own way and when he admitted his feelings to her, she basically laughed in his face and said she didn't have time for love as it was a game of pain that mortal men played. When told of their impending divorce and her banishment, she realized too late she truly did love him. He retaliated and made it known that the love he once felt for her was gone, never to be regained and she was told never to return or she would be killed. She left and has never been heard from since.
He gave me a few minutes to think about it before he continued saying: My dear girl, you don't realize what you've done to him. That man is totally head over heals in love with you and I surmise; he has been since you waltzed in here almost a year ago. I can honestly say, from a man's point of view and not a father's, he took notice of your sexy little body and your kind loving nature and fell headlong into the abyss of love when you met. He had been alone and miserable and you helped him by freely giving him your love, without any doubt. Now I see him as he really is a kind, loving, and extremely possessive protective man who does love you with every fiber of his being; don't take yourself and your love away from him. He is changing for the better and it's because of you and the deep love you have for him. Sweetheart, he feels that for you.
I was beginning to see the light in the darkness again, thanks to my wonderful and caring "dad", Carlisle Cullen. I began to think that Caius and I could work this out and heal the rift between us.
A few hours after Carlisle went to find Esme, Marcus and Aro paid me a visit. Aro gave me a hug and told me Marcus filled him in on what happened when they paid their brother a visit. Apparently, he wanted to see for himself that I was alright. Then explained: Bella mia, do not agonize over the argument you had with Caius as he is doing enough of it for the both of you. He feels absolutely dreadful for upsetting you the way he did. Marcus and I had a chat with him and told him we were disappointed with his actions. We explained there was no need for him to blow a head-gasket with you and the way he made his feelings known was deplorable. The sadness he caused earlier has made you to begin closing yourself off again. We don't want you to live in a broken state so we have decided to send you home with the Cullen's for a couple of weeks, that way you will have time to think and come back with a clear head.
Aro gave me a smile and Marcus spoke: La mia regazza speciale (my special girl), we told him you were going on vacation to clear your head and think. We also made it known he needed to do the same. When you arrive at the Cullen's home you are to call Aro or myself to notify us of your safe arrival, take this cell to keep in contact with us. Carlisle and family know what is best for you and they won't tolerate any games. We have been assured that Edward will be with the Denali's for the time you are there. We love you, Carlisle and family will bring you back in two weeks so enjoy your time away.
I hugged them both and said I would call when we got to the airport in Seattle, WA. I put the cell Marcus gave me and put it in my purse, packed my bags, and waited for the Cullen's.
Felix took us to the airport in Florence where the jet was ready for us. I sat quietly during our 14 hour flight wondering how my beautiful demon was. Then I thought, does it matter, if he hadn't gone missile then I would have been married to him by now; but as the saying goes shit happens. I decided to enjoy myself while I was in Forks. Let him wonder what I'm doing and with whom. I couldn't help but still be angered with his attitude; but it didn't change the fact that I loved him and it hurt like hell to be away from him.
When we got off the plane at Sea-Tac airport, I pulled the phone out and called 'home'. I told Marcus and Aro we had arrived and would talk to them in a few days. They said to call when ever I wanted and they would keep me informed as to what was happening there. They informed me Caius was not a happy vampire, as he was having a hard time adjusting to my absence. My reaction to that was too bad so sad, serves him right, and I couldn't help but say absence makes the heart grow fonder; I sure hope he finds his heart fast, if he has one. They got a good laugh at this one and told me to have fun. I gave them my love and said we'd chat soon and hung up.
I thought over my conversation with the brothers about Caius and realized I was not happy either. Maybe this time apart will be good for us or it will drive us apart forever. The more I thought about it I decided; I would not allow this to tear us apart. It just might cause him to wake up and decide to fight for what we have, instead of destroying it. Who knows what goes on in his dangerous mind?
While I was soul searching, Jasper kept throwing waves of calm at me, so I wouldn't get agitated. When I had had enough of that, I told him to stop with the mood control thing; it was starting to tick me off. All he could come up with to say was 'sorry Bella, it'll be… never mind'. That kind of reminded me of before my birthday disaster.
As we pulled into the driveway sometime later I asked if Edward will be around. Carlisle then replied, "No, he's in Alaska and was to stay there so you wouldn't be upset, reason being is he still has strong feelings for you and it would only upset the balance of the here and now. There's enough going on where you don't need him adding to the problem at hand.'
We walked into the house I spent so much time at and realized this place doesn't feel like home at all. I missed my room at the castle and everyone terribly and I had only just walked through the door. I was shown to a room on the second floor between Alice and Jasper's room and Carlisle and Esme's. All I wanted to do was fall asleep and not wake up, so I climbed into bed and willed myself to sleep. I must have laid there for hours when Jasper opened the door and asked If he could do anything to help me sleep. I told him he could try and he set me a wave of lethargy and peace that put me out.
I began to dream of my upcoming wedding (?): Eleazar escorted Esme and Carmen to the front rows of the chapel in the castle, followed by the couples of the bridal party except for Aro, the best man. He was positioned by Caius off to the side of Garrett, who was an ordained minister. The couples filed in as follows: Jane & Alec, Corin & Demetri, Alice & Jasper, Chelsea & Afton, Heidi & Felix, Rosalie & Emmett, then my maid of honor, Renata. The music shifted to the ever popular bridal march as it was my turn. I was flanked by Carlisle on my left and Marcus on my right. The three of us slowly made our way down the aisle to the alter, where the man of my dreams stood. Caius.
I woke and sat up in bed. Even seeing him in my dreams hurt, the smile on his face made my heart jump, and the happiness dancing in his eyes made me want to cry. I refuse to give in and call him. I promised my self the only ones I would talk were Marcus and Aro. Why does it have to hurt so much? He hurt me with the things he said about the Cullen family. His shrewd nature frustrates my happiness and contentment, yet he is my weakness. He awakens the animal in me and brings my blood to a boil. He makes me feel raw unbridled passion like no one before him. I can forgive the unscrupulous anger he carries, but why on earth did Athendora have to cause it? Why did she have to be so hateful or was it her nature to hurt anyone she came up against?
I grabbed my cell phone and decided to call Marcus and find out if he was still a spewing volcano. He picked up on the third ring, I asked him my questions and told me: Figlia mia, she was and I surmise still is a deceitful woman. Caius opened his heart to him and she basically threw it in his face. She tried to destroy him and succeeded in the emotional department. He holds distrust for anyone and is fearful of being hurt again. That's why he is what he is. He has only begun to feel again and is on an emotional roller coaster of sorts. As a matter of fact when we informed him of your departure, he closed himself in his room as has not been heard or seen since. He only emerges long enough to feed, and when he's sated retreats into the darkness he has created. With you gone he has no sun, moon, or stars to gaze upon. To him, there is no beauty left here. I really believe he regrets the things he said to cause your pain. Call him in a few days and if he's as hateful as he was before you left then don't make anymore contact until you return home. Have he Cullen's come back with you. I believe Caius would like a word with Carlisle at that time. Oh, don't worry about the pain you feel, it shouldn't get much worse but it will lessen as you get closer to home and will be completely gone when you get here.
We then changed the topic and talked of other goings on and I made sure he would tell everyone hello for me, I miss them, and send my love. I ended the call and went to find some food. Esme walked into the kitchen as I finished washing up my breakfast dishes, I asked her if it would be ok to use Edward's piano. With a smile she told me it quite alright. I warmed up with scales and proceeded to play some Beethoven. She was surprised to say the least that I played so well. She asked if I knew her favorite by Yiruma, which I did and played that as well. Before long, everyone had filed into the room and listened quietly as I let the sounds flowed from my fingertips. I even managed to play Clair de Lune, without crying, before I stopped. To say they were shocked was an understatement. Carlisle asked who taught me to play, I told him Marcus did. I explained how Marcus took to me upon my arrival and asked if I wanted to learn.
They were glad to hear music in the house again; they told me Edward lost interest in playing. Rose interjected by saying his sound was depressing as of late. They all looked at me strangely when I apologized and told me I did nothing wrong to apologize for. They explained that sometimes he got like that but then he'd start playing normally again within a few months.
I got up and followed Carlisle to his office and raided his books. He laughed and asked what I did in Volterra to pass the time. I told him: Well, most of the time I read, which you already knew. I paint, play the piano, and when it's not raining, I'm in the garden taking care of the flowers and bushes. The gardener takes care of the rest, but after I change, he will take over the gardens again.
He asked who taught me to paint and all I said was Caius. He fell silent as he didn't know what to say. When I asked if I could get some brushes, paint, and canvas, he told me to make a list of what to get and the girls would get it for me. I thanked him, excused myself, and went to my room.
I went to find Rose and Esme a couple of hours later with my list of supplies for them to pick up for me. They showed me to a room over the garage with tons of painting stuff and told me to use what I wanted too, so I decided to paint them a portrait of their family as a thank you for my vacation in Forks. I borrowed a photo that they had to go from. I went looking for Jasper as asked him who in the family could build a frame and was surprised to find out that he and Emmett built them for the photo's around the house. All he needed was the size I wanted. He asked what I was planning and I made him promise not to say anything, I then told him what I was up to. He smiled and said it would be his pleasure to help me with it, when my part was done.
During my time at my home away from home, I spent my time reading, playing the piano, and painting. Three days before returning to Volterra, my gift was finished. I waited until the day before, when we were all together to give it to them. I swear to god and all that is holy if they could cry, the house would have flooded. They asked who helped me with it, I told them I painted it and Jasper built the frame. They then asked what the signature VS meant and I explained it was for Volturi Swan, and Marcus sometimes called me that. My big brother, Emmett hung it over the fireplace and Alice took the one that adorned the wall and told me to take it with me to remember where I was from and who my family was. I reminded her they were coming with me and she could carry it.
I hugged them all and went to my room for the last time. I reached for my phone to call home, it rang in my hand, and the caller ID said Caius calling. I said hello and he began talking to me, not yelling, just talking.
When he spoke; he sounded sad, depressed, and very miserable. He opened up to me and said: Isabella, I apologize for the deplorable way I spoke to you and for my overly aggressive actions. I believe humans use the phrase's I cut off my nose to spite my face and I spoke before thinking about what to say. As much as I would like to take back the hateful things I said to you, I can't. For me to say I miss you would be an understatement; I feel lost without you and sometimes the ache in my silent heart, is unbearable. I should have listened when you said the joy of loving someone is heavenly but the pain of losing them is hell alone. I need you to come home so we can work this out. Cara mia, I love you.
Hearing the pain in his voice was enough to bring me to my knees. I told him: Caius, I have already forgiven you for your short comings. You in turn, need to forgive yourself. If you don't, it will be like drinking poison and waiting for death to come. Someone once told me, "Someday everything will all make perfect sense. So for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason." My life never made much sense; I have always felt like I was different from everyone else. When I first saw you, I felt my world was going to spiral out of control and you were the anchor I needed to keep me grounded. You have an aggressive nature and don't like bending your will. My family and I are getting on a plane tomorrow evening and I will see you about 16 hrs later, when I get home. We need to communicate if this is going to work between us. I am not angry by nature but you sometimes bring out the worst in me; as I bring out the best in you. I do love you and we will talk about this when I get there after I get some sleep; if I can sleep.
His response to me was: I understand, you are right and we need to discuss this rationally. I will be glad when you are home. Felix and Demetri will meet you at the airport; they want to see their sister. Everyone here has missed you almost as much as I have.
I finally heard a hint of happiness in his voice and it made me smile. I told him I loved him and ended the call so I could at least try for a few hours of rest before having to pack and flying home. Home, you really don't know how much you can miss something until it's not there. The next morning when I got up I packed and made my way downstairs to see everyone and found Edward in the living room. He was pleasant and congratulated me on my upcoming wedding. He tried apologizing to me several times but I had to tell him it wouldn't change my mind. I set him at ease by reassuring him I haven't been coerced in any way and this was my decision to marry Caius. He said he realized all of this but didn't understand my decisions. So I merely explained it the best way I could by saying: At first my decisions were based on my feelings for you, then they were to keep you and Alice alive, and before I knew it, I was in love with him. I don't know when, I don't know why or how, I just did, and before you ask, the answer is yes Edward, I did and still do love you but it's not the same. I don't know why but we were never meant to be mates, I believe we were only meant to be good friends almost like family. I love all of you and hold a great deal of respect for you as my family.
When the conversation was over I made my way over to the piano. Edward stared at me in awe as I warmed up and the sound morphed into a classic by Bach. When he finally spoke, he asked when I learned to play. I kept playing random tunes and told him Marcus started teaching me just after he and Alice left Volterra. I asked if he saw the portrait above the fireplace. He responded with a yes but didn't recognize the artist. In my response I explained it was one of mine and the VS, is my signature mark. Before he could ask, I told him Caius taught me how to paint.
When he fell silent, I left him to his thoughts and sought out Jasper. I needed some answers and felt he would care enough to not sugar coat this mornings events. I wondered what prompted Edward's return before we left and was hoping Jazz could tell me. I knocked on his door and as he answered the smile that graced his face fell. I told him nothing was wrong and needed some questions answered. He told me he had no idea that Edward was coming home so early or his reasons why. He sent me a short wave of calm and a gentle burst of peace.
I felt relief when the time arrived to leave for the airport and I could only say thank god I was going home. I was going to miss this rainy place but I going to be where I belong; Volterra.