Waiting For My Real Life To Begin
by Laura Spudzmom
Chapter 34
Rose exchanged a look with Emmett as they eavesdropped on the very distressing conversation taking place between their sire and his mate.
Esme, at the moment, was inconsolable as Carlisle explained exactly where Edward had been and what he’d done over the past few days, but Rose…she was livid. Especially so when she heard Carlisle describe the merciful way he’d handled the situation.
Yes, in a way, she understood it; Carlisle was the most compassionate being she’d ever met and she knew it took every ounce of courage he possessed to do what he’d done to his first childe…
Still, as she pictured Jasper’s baby in her mind’s eye, she just couldn’t get past the thought that Edward had gotten off way too easily.
During his time with the family, she’d grown close to the soft spoken southerner; so close in fact, that their charade as twins didn't feel like a charade at all after a decade or so. She’d loved him…still did if she was being honest, and just the thought that someone could so callously kill his baby…and all over petty jealousy…
She squeezed Emmett’s hand and nodded toward the door, tugging him to follow as she did. Once outside, she took off into the trees, knowing Emmett would follow.
When they reached the clearing they always came to for privacy, she rounded on her mate, her eyes flashing with sorrow and rage as he stared back gravely. “He killed a baby!” she hissed, her fists clenched as she began pacing. “He killed Jasper’s baby!” she cried, her throat tightening and voice wavering with unshed tears. “What would…I don’t see…” She turned to face Emmett who waited patiently for her to get it all out, his brow furrowed and eyes sad as he watched the love of his life struggle to understand the inexplicable. “Why, Em?! Why would he do such a thing?! She wasn’t even his mate!” Her face crumpled and she fell to her knees, her face buried in both hands. “Jay…oh god, what he must be going through…”
Emmett went to her and gathered her into his arms, kneeling there in the clearing as he rocked her gently. “I know, Rosie, I know…” he murmured while carding his fingers through her hair. The thought occurred to him that they weren’t even sure Jasper made it through the gunshot alive, but he wasn’t about to bring that up at the moment. His mate was already distressed enough.
“We have to do something, Em,” she muttered against his shoulder. His brows shot up.
“Like what, Rosie? I mean, Edward’s in two pieces…”
She pulled back, her eyes full of determination. “Exactly. He's in two pieces, but do you really think Carlisle and Esme have it in them to finish the job?”
His eyes went wide. “Rosie… Edward’s our brother… Are you saying…” He stood up and paced away, one hand scrubbing over his face as he turned back to face her. “Jesus, Rose, are you saying you’re willing to finish him?”
Her lip trembled even as anger swirled in her eyes. “I wish I had it in me, Em, I really do, but I don’t think…” She looked away, her fists clenched and nostrils flared as she continued, “I know who can and they have that right, Em. They have the right to see the end of the one who took so much from them and we’re going to see that they have it.”
“The Salvatores…” he murmured and she nodded as she met his gaze.
“The Salvatores.”
~o0o~
Damon was just flipping the last pancake when someone knocked on the front door. “I’ll get it,” Elena said as she rose from the table, her third cup of coffee in hand.
“I see you haven’t lost your cooking skills,” Stefan said as Damon placed the food on the table.
“You’re joking, right? We weren’t gone that long, little brother, but it is nice to be back in modern times.”
Stefan cocked a brow. “Your son-in-law’s gonna have a heck of a time for a while. I can’t imagine going from his time to this all in one hop.”
Damon pulled out a chair and sat down. “He’s gonna have a lot of catching up to do, but he’s a bright kid. He’ll manage.”
Stefan scoffed. “He kinda doesn’t have a choice.”
“Nope,” Damon agreed while sipping his bourbon laced coffee.
“Isn’t it a bit early for that?” Stefan asked, eyeing his brother’s cup while helping his plate.
Damon arched an inky brow. “After the last few days I’ve had? Hell no.”
“Jasper seemed pretty upset with you.”
Damon shrugged. “I’m not taking it personally—well, trying not to anyway. He’s new to this life, woke up to the death of his child and an emotionless wife. Now he’s in a completely new place and time. Any of that would screw with anyone’s mind, much less all of it at once. Throw into the mix that he’s an empath and being barraged with the emotions of everyone around him…”
Stefan nodded, and swallowed, washing down the bite with a sip of coffee. “Damn,” he muttered with a frown. “I can’t imagine dealing with all of that without losing my shit at some point.”
Elena walked back into the kitchen followed closely by Bonnie who refused to meet anyones eyes as she slipped into a chair. “I’ll get you some tea,” Elena said, crossing the room to put on some water while sending sad glances at her friend.
Damon studied the witch for a moment, his brow creased as he noted the way she held herself. She looked completely downtrodden. “Bonnie,” he greeted.
She startled before meeting his eyes. “Damon,” she murmured, her hands clutched together tightly in her lap. “I…” Her chin began quivering as her whiskey-hued eyes filled with tears. “I’m so sorry,” she said just above a whisper as a tear rolled down her cheek. “If I’d known…” she choked before dropping her face in her hands as her shoulders shook. “Oh god, if I’d known what he’d planned…”
Something inside him twisted when he saw the usually proud, tough-as-nails little witch break so completely, so he didn’t even think about it when he scooped her into his arms and carried her to the living room.
He took a seat on the couch and just held her close as she cried, whispering calming words as her tears slowed and she eventually calmed. “How is it you don’t hate me?” she rasped.
“Why should I hate you?”
She sat up and glared while wiping her cheeks with a tissue he’d handed her. “If not for me…”
“Did he give you a choice?” he asked, cutting her short with a quirked brow.
“No,” she hedged, “he didn’t.”
“Then how are you responsible for what happened?”
She looked down at her trembling hands. “I made it possible. If I hadn’t taken him…if I had only chosen another destination…another time period…” Fresh tears began tracing down her cheeks and he sighed while pulling her against his chest.
“Listen to me. If you had known then what you know now, I’m sure you would’ve done things differently, but the fact is, you didn’t. You had no way of knowing what the bastard was gonna do…”
“I knew it wasn’t good…”
He relaxed back into the cushy couch and sighed. “Will it make you feel better if I hate you?”
He felt her shrug against him. “Fine, I hate you, and to tell the truth, it’s kinda easy ‘cause you’re pretty bitchy and kind of a know-it-all and I really hate that…”
She smiled through her tears and smacked his chest. “Asshole.”
He tossed up a hand. “You see? You call me names all the time, constantly wounding my fragile ego…” she snorted and he carried on, “…so yeah, what you’re asking for won’t be tough at all.”
“Glad to know I won’t be putting you out.”
“Nope, easy as pie, witchy-poo.”
She sniffled and rested her head against his shoulder as his arms tightened around her. “Thanks, Damon,” she whispered as his hand cupped her cheek, his thumb gently sweeping over her silken skin to dry the tears.
“Anytime, doll,” he murmured with a kiss to her head. “Anytime…”
Elena walked in looking curious but hesitant. “Hey, I, uh…have your tea ready if you still want it.”
“Oh, yeah, I do, thanks,” Bonnie said as Damon helped her stand. She dried the rest of her tears and walked into the kitchen with Elena, where they both took seats at the table.
Bonnie clasped her hands around her mug before meeting Damon’s gaze as he took a seat. “Bella’s here with you?”
“Yep, Emily sent us back earlier this morning.”
She gave a slow nod. “How…how is she?”
“I’m…okay, or at least, I will be,” Bella said as she entered holding hands with Jasper who trailed behind her. They both took seats at the table and Elena rose to grab two place settings.
“Coffee or tea?” she asked as she placed the plates and utensils in front of the couple.
“Coffee for me, please,” Jasper said while Bella waved her off.
“Nothing for me, thanks.”
“Bella,” Jasper murmured, “you need to ea…”
“Blood,” she cut him off without looking at him. “I need blood.”
Damon got up. “I’ll get it,” he said, waving Stefan off who eased back into his seat. A few tense minutes later, he gave Bella a bag of blood, but also handed one to Jasper. “I figured you could use some too.”
Jasper nodded. “Thank you.”
When she’d finished the blood, she set the bag aside and glanced at Damon. “I’m sorry.”
He studied her for a moment before nodding. “It’s okay.”
“No…no it’s not. You only did what you had to, and I had no real right to be angry over it. Things would’ve gone completely to shit if you hadn’t. I can…I can see that now.”
“I owe you an apology as well,” Jasper added. “You held things together when I couldn’t, and for that, I’m grateful.”
Bella grasped Jasper’s hand and gave it a squeeze before looking back at Damon.
“Well, there’s no need to thank me. We’re family. As for the apologies, thanks, it makes it easier knowing you don’t hold what I did against me. I hated doing it, but I didn’t see another way at the time.”
“And there wasn’t, Dad,” Bella murmured while staring into her lap. “…not without risking too much, anyway.”
He nodded again and took a sip of his cooling coffee as Jasper angled his chair to face him. “What now? We’re here in this time now and I’m assuming the murderer of my son is here too…?” he questioned with a creased brow.
Damon glanced at Bonnie who nodded. “Yeah, it seems he made it back to this time.”
Jasper narrowed his eyes as he glanced between his father-in-law and the witch. “Are you Emily’s…”
“Yes,” Damon spoke up before Bonnie could. “she’s Emily’s descendent.”
“Were you…” Jasper began, but Damon cut him off.
“She had no choice. He gave her no choice.”
Bella stared into her lap, her expression blank as she muttered, “Everyone has a choice, Dad. What they’re willing to pay for the choices they make is the question.”
Bonnie sucked in a breath at that while Elena murmured, “I know you’re hurting, Bella, but that’s not fair.”
Bella’s head snapped up and she glared at Elena. “Fair? You wanna talk about shit being fair? I watched a bullet rip through and kill my husband and baby son. I had to stand at a freshly dug grave and say goodbye to my son who never really had a chance to live, and you wanna talk to me about fair?!” She shot up from her chair, knocking it over backwards while leaning on the table top to glare at Elena. “That bastard never would’ve been able to do what he did without her help!” Bonnie flinched as Bella pointed.
“Isabella…” Damon warned but Jasper stood and pulled his wife into a tight hug as she broke down in sobs.
He glanced at Bonnie who was also quietly crying. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, “this is all so very difficult. I can tell how you’re feeling—the heavy guilt—but it’s not your fault. It’s the bastard who murdered my son who’s at fault. The only thing you’re guilty of is having a gift and being forced to use it. No one can blame you for wanting to live or keep your friends and loved ones safe. Any one of us likely would’ve made the same decision if put in that situation.” He glanced down at his weeping wife and kissed her head before looking back at the crying witch. “Deep down, Bella knows that too. She’s lashing out and I’m sorry she chose you. I’m sure she will be too when she’s had time to really think things through.”
With that, Jasper guided Bella out of the room and Damon once again scooped Bonnie into his lap, holding her close as she cried. “It’s gonna be okay,” he murmured with a kiss to her temple. “You’ll see…it’s all gonna be okay…eventually.”
Rose exchanged a look with Emmett as they eavesdropped on the very distressing conversation taking place between their sire and his mate.
Esme, at the moment, was inconsolable as Carlisle explained exactly where Edward had been and what he’d done over the past few days, but Rose…she was livid. Especially so when she heard Carlisle describe the merciful way he’d handled the situation.
Yes, in a way, she understood it; Carlisle was the most compassionate being she’d ever met and she knew it took every ounce of courage he possessed to do what he’d done to his first childe…
Still, as she pictured Jasper’s baby in her mind’s eye, she just couldn’t get past the thought that Edward had gotten off way too easily.
During his time with the family, she’d grown close to the soft spoken southerner; so close in fact, that their charade as twins didn't feel like a charade at all after a decade or so. She’d loved him…still did if she was being honest, and just the thought that someone could so callously kill his baby…and all over petty jealousy…
She squeezed Emmett’s hand and nodded toward the door, tugging him to follow as she did. Once outside, she took off into the trees, knowing Emmett would follow.
When they reached the clearing they always came to for privacy, she rounded on her mate, her eyes flashing with sorrow and rage as he stared back gravely. “He killed a baby!” she hissed, her fists clenched as she began pacing. “He killed Jasper’s baby!” she cried, her throat tightening and voice wavering with unshed tears. “What would…I don’t see…” She turned to face Emmett who waited patiently for her to get it all out, his brow furrowed and eyes sad as he watched the love of his life struggle to understand the inexplicable. “Why, Em?! Why would he do such a thing?! She wasn’t even his mate!” Her face crumpled and she fell to her knees, her face buried in both hands. “Jay…oh god, what he must be going through…”
Emmett went to her and gathered her into his arms, kneeling there in the clearing as he rocked her gently. “I know, Rosie, I know…” he murmured while carding his fingers through her hair. The thought occurred to him that they weren’t even sure Jasper made it through the gunshot alive, but he wasn’t about to bring that up at the moment. His mate was already distressed enough.
“We have to do something, Em,” she muttered against his shoulder. His brows shot up.
“Like what, Rosie? I mean, Edward’s in two pieces…”
She pulled back, her eyes full of determination. “Exactly. He's in two pieces, but do you really think Carlisle and Esme have it in them to finish the job?”
His eyes went wide. “Rosie… Edward’s our brother… Are you saying…” He stood up and paced away, one hand scrubbing over his face as he turned back to face her. “Jesus, Rose, are you saying you’re willing to finish him?”
Her lip trembled even as anger swirled in her eyes. “I wish I had it in me, Em, I really do, but I don’t think…” She looked away, her fists clenched and nostrils flared as she continued, “I know who can and they have that right, Em. They have the right to see the end of the one who took so much from them and we’re going to see that they have it.”
“The Salvatores…” he murmured and she nodded as she met his gaze.
“The Salvatores.”
~o0o~
Damon was just flipping the last pancake when someone knocked on the front door. “I’ll get it,” Elena said as she rose from the table, her third cup of coffee in hand.
“I see you haven’t lost your cooking skills,” Stefan said as Damon placed the food on the table.
“You’re joking, right? We weren’t gone that long, little brother, but it is nice to be back in modern times.”
Stefan cocked a brow. “Your son-in-law’s gonna have a heck of a time for a while. I can’t imagine going from his time to this all in one hop.”
Damon pulled out a chair and sat down. “He’s gonna have a lot of catching up to do, but he’s a bright kid. He’ll manage.”
Stefan scoffed. “He kinda doesn’t have a choice.”
“Nope,” Damon agreed while sipping his bourbon laced coffee.
“Isn’t it a bit early for that?” Stefan asked, eyeing his brother’s cup while helping his plate.
Damon arched an inky brow. “After the last few days I’ve had? Hell no.”
“Jasper seemed pretty upset with you.”
Damon shrugged. “I’m not taking it personally—well, trying not to anyway. He’s new to this life, woke up to the death of his child and an emotionless wife. Now he’s in a completely new place and time. Any of that would screw with anyone’s mind, much less all of it at once. Throw into the mix that he’s an empath and being barraged with the emotions of everyone around him…”
Stefan nodded, and swallowed, washing down the bite with a sip of coffee. “Damn,” he muttered with a frown. “I can’t imagine dealing with all of that without losing my shit at some point.”
Elena walked back into the kitchen followed closely by Bonnie who refused to meet anyones eyes as she slipped into a chair. “I’ll get you some tea,” Elena said, crossing the room to put on some water while sending sad glances at her friend.
Damon studied the witch for a moment, his brow creased as he noted the way she held herself. She looked completely downtrodden. “Bonnie,” he greeted.
She startled before meeting his eyes. “Damon,” she murmured, her hands clutched together tightly in her lap. “I…” Her chin began quivering as her whiskey-hued eyes filled with tears. “I’m so sorry,” she said just above a whisper as a tear rolled down her cheek. “If I’d known…” she choked before dropping her face in her hands as her shoulders shook. “Oh god, if I’d known what he’d planned…”
Something inside him twisted when he saw the usually proud, tough-as-nails little witch break so completely, so he didn’t even think about it when he scooped her into his arms and carried her to the living room.
He took a seat on the couch and just held her close as she cried, whispering calming words as her tears slowed and she eventually calmed. “How is it you don’t hate me?” she rasped.
“Why should I hate you?”
She sat up and glared while wiping her cheeks with a tissue he’d handed her. “If not for me…”
“Did he give you a choice?” he asked, cutting her short with a quirked brow.
“No,” she hedged, “he didn’t.”
“Then how are you responsible for what happened?”
She looked down at her trembling hands. “I made it possible. If I hadn’t taken him…if I had only chosen another destination…another time period…” Fresh tears began tracing down her cheeks and he sighed while pulling her against his chest.
“Listen to me. If you had known then what you know now, I’m sure you would’ve done things differently, but the fact is, you didn’t. You had no way of knowing what the bastard was gonna do…”
“I knew it wasn’t good…”
He relaxed back into the cushy couch and sighed. “Will it make you feel better if I hate you?”
He felt her shrug against him. “Fine, I hate you, and to tell the truth, it’s kinda easy ‘cause you’re pretty bitchy and kind of a know-it-all and I really hate that…”
She smiled through her tears and smacked his chest. “Asshole.”
He tossed up a hand. “You see? You call me names all the time, constantly wounding my fragile ego…” she snorted and he carried on, “…so yeah, what you’re asking for won’t be tough at all.”
“Glad to know I won’t be putting you out.”
“Nope, easy as pie, witchy-poo.”
She sniffled and rested her head against his shoulder as his arms tightened around her. “Thanks, Damon,” she whispered as his hand cupped her cheek, his thumb gently sweeping over her silken skin to dry the tears.
“Anytime, doll,” he murmured with a kiss to her head. “Anytime…”
Elena walked in looking curious but hesitant. “Hey, I, uh…have your tea ready if you still want it.”
“Oh, yeah, I do, thanks,” Bonnie said as Damon helped her stand. She dried the rest of her tears and walked into the kitchen with Elena, where they both took seats at the table.
Bonnie clasped her hands around her mug before meeting Damon’s gaze as he took a seat. “Bella’s here with you?”
“Yep, Emily sent us back earlier this morning.”
She gave a slow nod. “How…how is she?”
“I’m…okay, or at least, I will be,” Bella said as she entered holding hands with Jasper who trailed behind her. They both took seats at the table and Elena rose to grab two place settings.
“Coffee or tea?” she asked as she placed the plates and utensils in front of the couple.
“Coffee for me, please,” Jasper said while Bella waved her off.
“Nothing for me, thanks.”
“Bella,” Jasper murmured, “you need to ea…”
“Blood,” she cut him off without looking at him. “I need blood.”
Damon got up. “I’ll get it,” he said, waving Stefan off who eased back into his seat. A few tense minutes later, he gave Bella a bag of blood, but also handed one to Jasper. “I figured you could use some too.”
Jasper nodded. “Thank you.”
When she’d finished the blood, she set the bag aside and glanced at Damon. “I’m sorry.”
He studied her for a moment before nodding. “It’s okay.”
“No…no it’s not. You only did what you had to, and I had no real right to be angry over it. Things would’ve gone completely to shit if you hadn’t. I can…I can see that now.”
“I owe you an apology as well,” Jasper added. “You held things together when I couldn’t, and for that, I’m grateful.”
Bella grasped Jasper’s hand and gave it a squeeze before looking back at Damon.
“Well, there’s no need to thank me. We’re family. As for the apologies, thanks, it makes it easier knowing you don’t hold what I did against me. I hated doing it, but I didn’t see another way at the time.”
“And there wasn’t, Dad,” Bella murmured while staring into her lap. “…not without risking too much, anyway.”
He nodded again and took a sip of his cooling coffee as Jasper angled his chair to face him. “What now? We’re here in this time now and I’m assuming the murderer of my son is here too…?” he questioned with a creased brow.
Damon glanced at Bonnie who nodded. “Yeah, it seems he made it back to this time.”
Jasper narrowed his eyes as he glanced between his father-in-law and the witch. “Are you Emily’s…”
“Yes,” Damon spoke up before Bonnie could. “she’s Emily’s descendent.”
“Were you…” Jasper began, but Damon cut him off.
“She had no choice. He gave her no choice.”
Bella stared into her lap, her expression blank as she muttered, “Everyone has a choice, Dad. What they’re willing to pay for the choices they make is the question.”
Bonnie sucked in a breath at that while Elena murmured, “I know you’re hurting, Bella, but that’s not fair.”
Bella’s head snapped up and she glared at Elena. “Fair? You wanna talk about shit being fair? I watched a bullet rip through and kill my husband and baby son. I had to stand at a freshly dug grave and say goodbye to my son who never really had a chance to live, and you wanna talk to me about fair?!” She shot up from her chair, knocking it over backwards while leaning on the table top to glare at Elena. “That bastard never would’ve been able to do what he did without her help!” Bonnie flinched as Bella pointed.
“Isabella…” Damon warned but Jasper stood and pulled his wife into a tight hug as she broke down in sobs.
He glanced at Bonnie who was also quietly crying. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, “this is all so very difficult. I can tell how you’re feeling—the heavy guilt—but it’s not your fault. It’s the bastard who murdered my son who’s at fault. The only thing you’re guilty of is having a gift and being forced to use it. No one can blame you for wanting to live or keep your friends and loved ones safe. Any one of us likely would’ve made the same decision if put in that situation.” He glanced down at his weeping wife and kissed her head before looking back at the crying witch. “Deep down, Bella knows that too. She’s lashing out and I’m sorry she chose you. I’m sure she will be too when she’s had time to really think things through.”
With that, Jasper guided Bella out of the room and Damon once again scooped Bonnie into his lap, holding her close as she cried. “It’s gonna be okay,” he murmured with a kiss to her temple. “You’ll see…it’s all gonna be okay…eventually.”
DISCLAIMER: Twilight and its inclusive material is copyright to Stephenie Meyer. Original creation, including but not limited to plot and characters, is copyright to the respective authors of each story. No copyright infringement is intended.